


In An Alternate Universe

by mandagrammy



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 50,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26463220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandagrammy/pseuds/mandagrammy
Summary: Hello, dear readers.  I come to you with the only story, which I once started years ago, that I never completed due to both health and family issues.  I pulled the story once I realized it was taking too long to get back to it.  I am now finally ready to get back to work on it, and I hope you will join me as I do.This is a complete departure from anything I've written before.  The title says it all.  I have literally turned QAF on its head, by creating a world in which Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor (along with all the other main character from the show) are now the actors who will be portraying fictional characters in a new television series called Queer Folks and Family (soon to be knows as QFF by avid fans of the show).  How will taking on the roles in the series impact the lives of actors, Brian and Justin?  That is the question.P..S.  Many thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta, Judy, for her great skills
Relationships: Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk), Other Relationships
Comments: 28
Kudos: 18





	1. Auditioning for 'Queer Folk and Family'

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Brian Kinney checked his watch for the tenth time and felt his frustration growing even stronger. He asked himself again why he had been so foolish as to wait until the last minute to fly out of Los Angeles to get to Toronto. If he missed this audition because his plane arrived too late, he would have no one to blame but himself. He had known about the audition for almost a week. He certainly could have skipped that audition for the legal show they were hoping to sell for the new season, so he could have taken an earlier flight. The part for that show was tiny compared to what he was going for in Toronto. 

If he was being honest with himself, it wasn't the size of the part that had gotten his juices flowing. It was the part itself. If he got the part in Toronto, he would be playing his first gay role. That thought really appealed to Brian. He knew it was a risky move... one his agent had begged him to avoid... but he liked the idea more and more as he thought about it. The show was being called 'Queer Folk & Family' and was an Americanized version of a hit from British television. The rights had been bought by a cable network, and the people behind the production had an impressive resume under their belt. They were well respected, so Brian wasn't concerned that the show would be shoddy, by any means. He wasn't too concerned about the subject matter either. 

Brian Kinney had long lived by the rule that his personal life was nobody's business but his own. The fact that he really was gay had never interfered with his career up to now, and he decided that taking a gay role shouldn't change that, as long as he remained ambiguous about his orientation. It wasn't that he was ashamed of who he was. He just didn't think it should matter to anyone else where he stuck his dick after work. He had heard that a number of straight men had already been signed on to portray gay roles in the series, so he shouldn't stand out if he just let everyone presume that he was straight too. Besides, he reasoned, he was an actor, and a damned good one at that. It shouldn't matter what orientation he was personally, whenever he had a sex scene with another actor. And from what he had gathered when he read the description of his character, there should be plenty of those. 

Just as his nerves had reached their breaking point, the slightly accented voice of their pilot came over the loudspeaker, announcing their imminent arrival at Toronto Pearson International Airport. He would have just enough time to check into his hotel room, freshen up, and get to the studios where the auditions were being held. He wasn't a religious man by nature, but he prayed he'd get the part of Gabriel Hagan. Brian knew exactly how he would play him. The character he would play was a sexual animal, but his prowess hid a sensitive man who had been hurt by life in ways that left unseen scars. Brian had lived Gabe's story in his own early years, so he could relate. The only difference between Brian and the character he wanted to play was that Brian used acting to escape from his pain, rather than bedding every stud in sight. That was why he was such a talented actor. He could shed the skin of Brian and inhabit an entirely different persona in his roles. And Gabriel Hagan was a role he wanted badly.

*************************************************************

Justin Taylor saw his reflection in the glass wall that separated the waiting room from the reception area, of the studio offices where he was now waiting as patiently as was possible. He was pleased with what he saw. He was already in his early twenties, but he knew he would have no problem passing for a mature teenager. He was still carded at restaurants and bars all the time. He also knew that he was stepping into virgin territory with this audition, but he had felt the need to spread his wings a bit. The part he was going for was right up his alley. He had outed himself even younger than the character in the television program he was auditioning for. He knew just how the character felt. The part would be a stretch in other ways, because he had been a stage actor in musicals almost exclusively, since starting his acting career. He now wanted to see if he could handle something totally different, which wouldn't require any musical talent on his part. He knew he could always go back to the stage anytime. He had a great reputation as a reliable actor, so usually had no trouble finding good roles to take on.

As Justin waited his turn to audition, he thought about the character he would be playing if he got the part. The young man was described as a seventeen-year-old high schooler who knew he was gay, but had never tested the waters of a gay lifestyle. He was chomping at the bit to lose his virginity to someone, and finally got the opportunity to do just that. His character was called Reece Hartley. According to the section of the early script he had received, Reece would meet the man who would divest him of his virginity, and he would become a thorn in the man's side for a little while. The man was described as a self-centered party boy, who was at least a dozen years older than young Reece. Justin had met more than his fair share of those kinds of men while working in his craft. He had learned to avoid them. He hoped that his character would learn to do the same. If the show lasted long enough, he hoped they would find an interesting love interest for Reece, unless he found the show less than satisfactory. Then, of course, he hoped they would write him off quickly. 

The man he would have his first sexual experience with, if he got the part, was quite obviously being written in as a leading character, so Justin wasn't too sure what plans they had in mind for the future of his own character. He knew there had been a British version of the same show, but he hadn't had the chance to view it yet. The offer to audition had come as a surprise. His on again-off again boyfriend had told him about the show, when writing an article about it for a gay magazine he worked for. If he got the part, he would have to rent the British version to see what happened to the character that Reece was based on. There was also something else to consider... this was America, and the chances of a gay-themed series, which all the rumors declared would pull no punches, probably wouldn't last long. But of course, none of this mattered if he didn't get the job. He sat back and waited some more. His turn would come soon enough. Justin was a very patient young man.

****************************************************

The producers of the upcoming new show, Phil Bowen and Richard Gripman, sat side by side behind the long table in the audition room watching in fascination, as the two actors in front of them acted out their lines. There were six other people at the table, including several from the cable network, and a couple of casting directors. The two men couldn't help but notice how every one of the others seemed to be leaning forward, as they watched the actors intensely. Something was happening right in front of their eyes. There was no doubt of it. It wasn't that often that one saw such strong chemistry between performers, while simply auditioning a scene. 

The group of observers had spent the entire day, a long and exhausting one at that, watching one actor or actress after another. The list of wannabe performers for the show they were casting wasn't as long as many other shows they had worked on, but that was probably due to the subject matter. Not all actors and actresses felt comfortable taking on roles in a show that centered almost entirely on the gay community. Both Bowen and Gripman had been through this before. They were a gay couple in real life, and had managed to get a few other projects with a gay theme completed in the past, but none as ambitious as this one. More than anything, they wanted this show to be a success. In a big way, this show would be their baby, and they wanted only the very best cast, directors, and writers they could get. Casting was of paramount importance.

They had already filled most of the roles, but now they desperately needed their lead. Gabriel Hagan would be a very complex character, so not just anyone could fill the role. He had to be super sexy, yet not just a pretty face. They intended for Gabe to be a man with countless layers, like an onion. The actor who played him had to be able to play Gabe in every kind of way, including likable and very unlikable. The actor who played him had to have charisma, the same as Gabe should have. They were also hoping they could find the perfect fit for his part-time teenage lover. 

Earlier that day they had found the actor they wanted to portray young Reece. He was older than he looked, but Justin Taylor fit the exact image that the producers were looking for. He had vulnerability, with a touch of sweetness to his demeanor that would play well on-screen. It didn't hurt that the first thing he announced before doing the reading was that he understood Reece, since he was a gay man himself. Also, it hadn’t been that long ago that he himself was faced with coming out of the closet for the first time. They had chosen a half dozen men to call back after the auditions, who they thought might make a decent Gabe, and had them read lines with Justin. They kept waiting for sparks, but not one of the men was able to ignite with the young actor. Of course, it wasn't necessary to concentrate on the character of Reece full throttle. After all, the main relationship in the series was expected to be between Gabe and his best friend since childhood, Hank Spears. If they decided to give the part to Justin, and he didn't click with the actor who got the part of Gabriel, then they would simply drop the couple's relationship a little sooner than originally planned.

This was their thinking up until the last actor of the day arrived slightly late for the audition. His name was Brian Kinney, and everyone in the room was blown away by his portrayal of Gabe from the moment he started to speak. There was a kind of raw animal magnetism in the way he read the lines, using some very interesting facial tricks that made him stand out from the others. He would raise one eyebrow slightly at certain times, or poke his tongue in his cheek at other times, as he came to a line with a hint of sardonic humor to it. They also appreciated his answer when he was asked how he felt about going almost entirely nude for the role. He also seemed to have no problem when told that he would be in a large number of scenes, which would be quite sexually explicit, although they promised it would not reach the point of being pornographic in any way. By the end of his audition, everyone was eager to see for themselves how he would play against another actor, especially in a sexy scene. And now they knew that they had their final cast member. His name was Brian Kinney and his co-star would most definitely be Justin Taylor. Bowen and Gripman had the feeling that these two were going to create magic on film.

To be continued.....................


	2. A Successful Audition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While returning to Canada to begin taking on his new role in a television series, actor Brian Kinney looks back on his audition for the part, and how it affected him.

Sounds of low snoring and quiet conversations could be heard throughout the large cabin of the plane, taking Brian back to Toronto for the second time in a week. He had hoped to get an earlier flight, but the only one he could catch after taking care of affairs at home was the 10 p.m. flight. It was a four-and-a-half hour trip, but Brian had traveled a lot for his work, so he had no problem sitting back and relaxing during long flights. Well, that was normally the case, but not this time around. For some reason he was far too jazzed up to relax, and the flight seemed to go on forever. As he settled deeper into his seat, and clicked off the overhead light in hopes of catching a little nap, his mind wandered back to the previous week. 

He had been running late getting to the audition for 'Queer Folk & Family', so he wasn't one hundred percent sure they would allow him to go ahead with it. For all he knew, they had already found Mr. Right for the part he wanted. Brian wanted the part so badly, he was willing to argue for his shot at it, but apparently they were having trouble finding just the right actor to fill the role. That was a little tidbit of information the cute young receptionist gave him, when she saw how worried he was that he was too late for the auditions. Brian gave her his most charming smile and thanked her for the help. He relaxed a little and took a seat, praying someone would come out and call him back to the auditioning room. Only a few minutes passed before his prayers were answered.

Brian would normally have been flustered at this point, coming so close to losing his chance at the role he wanted so badly, but a strange calm came over him the moment he was standing in front of the table full of producers and casting agents. He knew the part was made for him, and it showed the moment he opened his mouth. The scene he was taking on involved his character, Gabriel Hagan, at his office. The man was an advertising executive who had the ability to sell igloos to desert nomads. He was written as a man with total confidence in everything he did, so that was exactly the way that Brian played him for the audition. There was one line in particular, where Gabe was flirting surreptitiously with the son of a prospective client right in the middle of his presentation for the two men. Brian knew that Gabe would be extremely subtle while doing this, so he quirked one eyebrow, and concentrated on displaying a look that had just the right undertones of lustfulness, without being blatant about it as he delivered the line. 

By the time Brian finished with the one-on-one audition, he knew he had nailed it. He had been to enough auditions during his near decade of acting to recognize an enthusiastic response to his work. The icing on the cake was that he felt right at home with Gabe. He knew in his heart that he could fill the skin of Gabriel Hagan as if it was his own. They had politely told him to wait outside in the reception area, and they would get back to him. It was growing late in the day, but Brian would have waited all night if they had asked him to. Luckily, he didn't have to wait that long. Shortly afterward, one of the women from the panel came out and asked him if he would be willing to read lines with a young man they were thinking of casting in the role of Reece Hartley, the teenager that Gabe would seduce in the very first episode of the show. 

Brian wasn't really into kids. He preferred his men to be older and more experienced, but he doubted they would hire an underage actor for a role such as this one. The 'kid' was certainly going to be over eighteen in real life. Besides, Brian reminded himself, this was acting. It's not like he was really seducing a young kid. He laughed silently at himself. He would read lines with a donkey if it got him the part. He nodded yes and was told to wait again. A few minutes later, a door opened to another waiting room and someone stepped into the reception area where Brian was seated. When Brian looked up, he was struck immediately by the beauty of the young man standing in the doorway. 

The young man looked to be no older than his late teens, but Brian suspected he might be a bit older. There was an air of confidence about him that belied his youthful appearance. He had a shock of blond hair that crowned his head almost like a halo. It was slightly unruly with lots of waves in it, and framed his face in a way that made him look almost angelic. Brian wondered briefly if the young man had ever played a role in which he was a villain. He doubted it. The kid looked too sweet and innocent. It was hard to imagine him as a bad guy. Brian hadn't realized he was staring, until the young man turned in his direction, and their eyes suddenly locked on each other. Brian was shocked. He had never felt such an electric response to anyone before. 

Brian had a strong feeling that this might be the actor he was supposed to read lines with. It was probably because he looked very much like the physical description given for the part of his teenage lover. What surprised Brian was that he found himself hoping that he would be the one. Brian's intuition told him that he could play off this actor better than most others. If he was having this strong a visceral reaction to the stranger before even meeting him, then there was a good chance they could make magic onscreen too. Of course, that didn't always hold true. Plenty of happily married or devoted couples in show business had bombed at the box office in movies where they played a couple. And yet, plenty of others did ignite onscreen, even when they didn’t get along in real life. Brian gave his head a little shake. Hell, he hadn't even met the kid yet. What made him think of couples just then? 

Before Brian could take his thoughts any further, the door opened again to the audition room. That same lady stepped out to indicate that both Brian and the blond should join her. Both actors joined her at the door and followed her into the room. The table was empty except for the lead producers, who then indicated that both men should take a seat. One of the producers spoke up first.

"Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor, we really liked your individual auditions. That's why we would like to see how you two play against each other. I know it's really late now, but if you are willing to stay just a bit longer, we'll give you some time to rehearse your lines together. Then you can come back and show us what you've got. We'll call a dinner break and get back together in an hour. How does that sound to you two?"

Brian and Justin glanced over at each other and an unspoken message passed between them. Their enthusiasm showed in the eyes of both men, and they each recognized it. They turned back to the table and answered yes simultaneously, as if it was rehearsed. A broad smile broke out on the faces of the producers. As they sat at the table, they could see the chemistry between the two men even before they had spoken one line of dialogue. Some things were meant to be, and they had a feeling this pairing was going to be one of those things. 

As Brian's flight came closer to its destination, he recalled how exciting it had been going over his lines with the young man, who had introduced himself as Justin Taylor from New York City. They didn't talk much about their personal lives at the time, but Brian did learn that this would be Justin's first time in television, if he got the part. Apparently, he had spent his entire career as an onstage actor. Brian had a lot of respect for stage actors, but he couldn't help wondering if Taylor would be able to handle the day-to-day grind of film-making, which was an entirely different kind of animal in the acting business. Of course, there were a lot of stage actors who had made the transition quite successfully. If he was lucky, Taylor would be one of those. 

The two men got right down to business once they had sized each other up. The scene they had to rehearse involved a first meeting between Gabe and Reece in a gay bar in their hometown of Philadelphia. Brian had been born and raised in Pittsburgh, so he felt comfortable with the way they spoke in that part of the country. He knew it was very important that he not come off as some kind of leering pedophile, who only wanted to pop some kid's cherry during the scene. Gabriel had to appear as a man who was instantly attracted to young Reece, and was just drunk enough to not realize just how young he might be. He didn't want to appear as a sloppy lecherous drunk either. If he appeared that way, it would turn viewers off right from the start. As for Justin, he needed to play Reece as a wide-eyed boy who had zero experience with gay sex, even though he had no doubts about his sexuality. 

Brian was pleasantly surprised at how well he and Taylor meshed every time they re-played the scene with slightly different nuances. Each reading was more on point than the one before. In the end, Brian was beginning to think that Justin was playing himself in real life. He had dropped the persona of a twenty-something man, who knew about life, and taken on instead the identity of an innocent boy, looking for validation for who he really was. By the time the couple was called back to the audition room, they both felt they had nearly perfected the role-playing. Apparently, the group waiting for them felt the same. When they left the room a half hour later, they felt encouraged by the response they had gotten. Now all they had to do was wait on word as to whether they had the part or not. 

Brian had flown back home to L.A. the next day, still unsure if he had the role, yet feeling somewhat confident. What most surprised him was not that he wanted a positive response to getting the role, but that he kept thinking how much he would enjoy acting with Justin Taylor again. As a matter of fact, he was finding it hard to get the blond out of his head. Brian Kinney had never felt more strongly that he had found the perfect acting partner. Heaven knew he had played opposite quite a number of very attractive and talented leading ladies in the past, but this was the first time he had ever felt so alive while acting, and they had only been auditioning. What in the world could they accomplish as a team if they both got the parts? By the time Brian landed in L.A. he knew he would take the role, no matter who they chose for him to play opposite. But he also knew he would do his best work if the role of Reece was given to Justin Taylor.

It had only taken two days for Brian to get the call he was so anxiously waiting for, from his agent. He did his best to contain himself, but he didn't fool Andy, his agent. The bastard knew how much his client wanted the role on the new series in Canada, so he dragged out the message that he had gotten the role, for as long as Brian was willing to put up with it. Just before Brian was about to lose it, Andy let him know the good news, and was rewarded with an 'I love you, man' for his efforts. Andy could see Brian's grin through the telephone lines. This was the part of his job that he liked the best... that and the ten percent he got for his efforts, especially if the series gained a following and proved a success.

The next few days were busy ones, while Brian prepared to close up his small bungalow house in the suburbs of Los Angeles. He had bought the two-bedroom place as a starter home, once his career had begun to take off. He had thought about renting the place out while he was working in Toronto, but the show had only been given the green light for a guaranteed six episodes, and if it wasn't picked up for more he'd be back home in no time. He would need his home to come back to. Brian had said goodbye to his friends, some of whom were in the business, and a few who were not. Those in the business were used to goodbyes. It came with the job. Wishes for success were offered all around. 

Now Brian was just a day away from the next big chapter of his life. He could feel it in his bones. He would touch down in Toronto in a couple of hours and go straight to his hotel. He had only one day to settle in before the real work began. Brian gave up trying to catch a few winks. He was too wound up. He reached down for his laptop and set it on the table he had lowered in front of him. He turned the light back on and opened the laptop. He immediately clicked on the file where he had stored all the information his agent sent him from the producers of the show. As the pages loaded, Brian began reading. The first page was full of the information he needed to get around the city of Toronto, including the name of the hotel where he would be staying, at least in the beginning, along with the name of the studio and how to get there. 

The next page was a list of the actors and actresses who would play leading roles on the show. His eyes zeroed in on the name, Justin Taylor. He was thrilled to see that the young man, who had lingered in his mind so persistently, was the one they had chosen to play Reece. As far as Brian was concerned, that was a good sign. He checked out the other names. He only recognized a couple of them, although he had not yet met any of the other actors. One, Michael Novotny, was a familiar name. Brian couldn't put his finger on why, but he was sure the guy had done some television before. He knew he had seen him somewhere. He would play Hank Spears, Gabriel's closest friend and a guy who was like a brother to him. The character of Hank also had a lifelong crush on Gabe. The other name was one that nearly everyone in the business knew, or at least should know. Susan Glesser was an Emmy-winning actress who had starred in more than one series when she was younger. She would play the part of Debbie Spears, Hank's mother, and the one woman who had all but saved Gabe's life while he was growing up in a dysfunctional family. Casting Susan was a stroke of genius as far as Brian was concerned. She would lend prestige and fame to the series. 

The rest of the names on the list were completely unknown to Brian, so he began to Google them all so he could get a feel for the people he would soon be working with. He prayed they would all get along. He knew that more than one series had been ruined by dissension among the actors who had to work together. There was nothing like a harmonious set to get the job done skillfully and successfully. As Brian's eyes went from one name to the next, he felt a sense of peace come over him. He had a good feeling about this thing. At this moment, all he wanted was to get started on his new job. The contracts were signed, the scripts were ready, and the cast and crew were hired. Now all that remained was to produce their best work ever. Brian Kinney was more than ready to take on the task.

To be continued...................


	3. The Future is Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've seen how actor, Brian Kinney, has reacted to getting the part he wanted so much. Now it is time to see how actor, Justin Taylor, reacts. 
> 
> WARNING: Justin has a boyfriend named Ethan, but hang in there. Something truly momentous happens between the two of them, which I think you will find satisfying overall.
> 
> P.S. In the next chapter, which I'll post next week, I will add a brief synopsis of all the players, both QAFer's and QFFer's. Special note: Although the names of real person are used as inspiration for my characters, no real persons (Gale, Randy, etc) are in this story.

Justin Taylor scanned the faces of each person, one by one, sitting at the large table. Virtually all of them were strangers to him, although he had met a few of them very briefly. Except for one of them, those meetings had been short and devoid of any information that would make it possible for him to accurately gauge the person's personality. To a man (or woman), none of them were theater folks, except for himself. These actors were folks who dealt with screen acting almost exclusively, or at least that was what he perceived from what little information he had gathered so far.

This was the first time in which every performer, who had won a role on the new television series, had been given the chance to meet to find out what came next. Justin's eyes were drawn to the one actor whose face was most familiar to him, since he was the one he had read with for the auditions just a week ago. And what an exciting week it had been for the young stage actor. It had been such a nerve-wracking time for Justin, and much of it had become a blur once it was all over, and he was assured he had the part of Reece Hartley. There was one thing, however, that still stood out in sharp relief in his memory. That was how he had reacted to this one particular actor, who he learned went by the name of Brian Kinney. His reaction had been so strong that Kinney kept popping up in his mind on a number of occasions over the last week, including one very embarrassing moment which still caused him to blush to this day.

Once he and Kinney had completed their late evening audition together, Justin had flown back to New York City, prepared to wait on word from the casting directors. It hadn't taken long to discover, through his agent, that he had gotten the job. He would get to play the character that he wanted from the moment he had read the preliminary script, which was sent to his agent. Justin was so excited that he wanted nothing more than to celebrate his accomplishment. His part-time boyfriend was in town when he got the good news, so naturally he thought about calling him and inviting him out for a visit to their favorite hangout. Ethan answered his phone on the third ring. 

When Justin heard Ethan's voice, the thought crept into his head (and not for the first time) that he didn't get that sense of excitement anymore whenever he heard Ethan's voice, as he had in the very beginning of their relationship. Ethan Gold was a nice enough guy, but the tiny spark that they once shared had started to fizzle out some time ago. Ethan worked freelance as a writer for a gay magazine, but it was only to pay the bills. He was a talented musician and his real dream was to get into the music business. So far, he hadn't had much luck with that goal, despite his good contacts through his paying job. 

The thought crossed his mind, that Ethan might not be too thrilled to see Justin moving to Canada, while the series was being filmed. They saw very little of each other as it was, since Ethan was often out of town for his work. They'd see even less of each other now. There was also the fact that Ethan might resent Justin's success, if the show turned out to be a hit, while Ethan's career dreams appeared to be stalled. But Justin had more important things on his mind than worrying about Ethan's reaction to his announcement. He wanted to celebrate, and it was Ethan who informed his agent about the new show being cast, suggesting that there was a part he was certain Justin would be great in. So, in a way, his getting the role was thanks to Ethan. For that reason, if nothing else, he chose to celebrate with him.

"Hey Ethan," Justin began. "I know it's a little late to be calling, but I thought you might like to go out with me to Jack's Pub for a drink to celebrate my good news. Are you up for it?"

"You got the part...right?"

"Sure did. Now all I have to do is search my memory for what it felt like to be an innocent teenager falling in love for the first time."

"You were an innocent kid?" Ethan shot back, with a slight edge to his voice.

Justin chose to ignore the tinge of sarcasm he heard in Ethan's voice. It appeared that his instincts as to how Ethan would react to his getting the part might be spot on. He couldn't help feeling a little deflated by the tone, sensing that his boyfriend wasn't quite as excited for him as he should be. Maybe tonight was the right time for the two of them to have a sit-down after they got back to his apartment, so that they could hash out some of the reasons why their relationship had not progressed to the next level, even after dating for almost two years. Justin became so lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize that Ethan had said something else and was obviously waiting for an answer.

"I said, I knew the part would fit you after I watched the British version of the show. So, what time do you want to meet up?"

"Wha...I'm sorry, Ethan. What did you just ask me?"

"I said, what time do you want to meet at Jack's Pub. Where the hell did your mind wander off to?"

"Look, I said I'm sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind. I was hoping I'd get the part of Reece, but I'm not sure I expected to. I'm not that prepared to pick up and suddenly leave town. New York City has been my home for my entire life. I guess it just dawned on me how many changes I'll be making in my life to take on this role. It's not like I'm accepting another stage role, even if they take it on the road, you know."

"I know, Justin, but you can handle it," Ethan replied, sounding a little more supportive this time around.

"I know I can. I really don't know why I'm feeling so nervous. We'll talk more tonight. How does eight o’clock sound to you?"

"Eight o'clock it is. See you there," Ethan answered. 

The two men hung up. Justin walked over to the table where he had his computer set up. He clicked on quickly and began Googling Toronto, Canada. If he was going to live there for a while, he needed to get a better feel for the place. After some research, he was happy to see that the area had an active gay community. He felt spoiled living in the Big Apple, where a gay man could find plenty of places to feel at home, especially those folks active in the theater community. It was then that his future co-star popped into his head again. Along with news of his success in getting the role of Reece was a list of those he'd be working with, including instructions as to when to report to the studio for the first time. 

This wasn't the first time that Brian Kinney had crept into his thoughts. Justin had acted opposite plenty of other actors in his long career, which spanned a big part of his childhood too, but he couldn't ever recall one of them leaving such a strong impression on him before this. He thought back to his out-of-character reaction the moment his eyes locked with Kinney in the waiting room at the audition. He had actually felt a physical reaction, which hadn't happened to him since he was a young teen, when he had the chance to get really close to one of his idols from the stage. That actor was a man with a wife that everyone in the industry knew was his beard. When the big star saw Justin's reaction, he had taken him home, and done his best to screw the daylights out of the young teen. The problem was that this big star wasn't very good at it. Justin had learned a valuable lesson from the experience.... not everything that shone like gold was real. Sometimes it was fool's gold. He had never reacted that way again to anyone else. 

That was, until Brian Kinney. Besides, he didn’t even have the slightest idea if Kinney was straight, gay, or into anything that moved. All he knew was the guy had left an indelible impression on him, and it wasn't going away. Now they would be co-stars, at least for a while. Justin reminded himself that he was going to have to keep his attraction under control. He and Kinney had some very intimate scenes in the beginning, according to what he had learned so far. He had checked out the British version of 'Queer Folk & Family' after returning from the auditions, so he already knew that the character his was based on wouldn't end up in a long-term intimate relationship with Kinney's character. If they stuck with the same storyline, then he wouldn't be forced to restrain himself for too long. Justin was surprised by how that thought made him feel like frowning. He forced himself to snap out of it. The only thing that mattered was how he handled his part, not how he handled his co-star.

Later that evening, Justin sat across the table from Ethan and tried to concentrate on what the man was saying. After initially congratulating Justin on attaining the role of Reece, Ethan had launched into a long discourse on how his own music agent was failing to advance his career at all, and how he was seriously considering firing the guy. Justin had become accustomed to Ethan being self-centered, so he slowly but surely let his mind wander while his date rattled on. He began thinking about all the things he needed to get done before leaving town. He would start with sub-letting his apartment. There was never a shortage of possible tenants in New York City. All he needed to do was post an ad in the theater mags or online. If he didn't find someone right away, he had a ton of friends who could handle it for him, once he was out of the city. 

The evening finally ended. The couple went straight to Justin's apartment afterwards. Ethan was suddenly in one of his horny moods, so the two men ended up in bed together. It certainly wasn't the first time, but Justin was well aware that each time they had sex together, it had become a little less comfortable than the time before. It didn't mean that he was unable to get a hard-on... just that it felt almost mechanical, with little emotion involved. That's when a strange thing happened. The couple shared topping experiences, and Ethan wanted to be the one on top this time around. Justin finally felt an orgasm coming on and shut his eyes tightly as Ethan pounded away. Without any warning Justin found himself picturing Brian Kinney, a man he barely knew at all, on top of him. 

Justin kept his eyes shut tight and felt his orgasm growing by leaps and bounds, all the while sensing the clear image of Brian Kinney fucking the daylights out of him. A few more moments of fantasy and Justin exploded in one of the strongest orgasms of his life. He hadn’t even opened his eyes, and would have gladly kept them shut tight, if Ethan's voice hadn't broken through the fog. The sound of his voice forced Justin’s eyes open, and he saw Ethan slumped over to the side, breathing as hard as a runner reaching the finish line.

"Oh my God, Justin," Ethan panted. "What the hell was that? I don't think I've ever seen you react like that before. It felt like you were trying to force my whole body inside yours. Fuck, you should get a part in a television series more often, if it makes you that horny."

Justin shook his head. He hadn't realized how he latched onto Ethan, but he knew it wasn't his boyfriend that inspired him. But of course, this wasn't something he could pass on to Ethan. It was already bad enough that he knew he wanted to cool things down with Ethan before he left town. And cool things down, he did. The end of that night didn't go quite the way that Ethan had hoped for after the amazing sex he had just had with Justin. He had wanted to just lay there and bask in the afterglow of entirely satisfying sex for himself, but Justin had gotten up and re-dressed almost immediately. He informed Ethan that they needed to talk and left the bedroom. Ethan wasn't far behind. Justin waited for Ethan to join him in the living room.

"So, what's up?" Ethan asked as he joined a somber-faced Justin. "You look like something's bothering you, but you should be on top of the world right now. Hell, I'd give anything to be where you are in my career. So, are you going to tell me why the long face?"

"Look, Ethan, I uhhhh....well, I am thrilled about the job, but it will probably mean some big changes. At the very least, I'll be gone a couple of months. And...well, hell, Ethan, you know that things have been a little off with us for a while now. It's like we have to make an effort just to enjoy any time we have together. Relationships shouldn't feel so much like work, don't you think?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? Wasn't that you in the bedroom with me just minutes ago? That didn't feel like a forced effort to me. What were you doing... thinking of someone else while I fucked you?"

The room went silent. There was something about the way that Justin averted his eyes.

"Shit, you were thinking of someone else, weren't you? Are you telling me that you have found a new boyfriend, and that was just a last fuck for old time's sake, you son-of-a-bitch?"

Ethan had jumped up from his seat, but Justin grabbed his arm to hold him back. 

"Dammit, Ethan, I don't have a new boyfriend. You're not listening to me, but then you hardly ever do, anyway. I said that we've been growing apart for a while now. I don't know what came over me in the bedroom just now, but it doesn't change a thing. I didn't say that I don't want to be friends anymore. I just think we should accept the fact that that is all we are going to be in the future. That way we are both free to find someone new, if it happens to either one of us. And before you ask, no, I don't already have someone lined up to take your place. I have a new job to occupy my mind, with no time for romance at all."

Ethan looked at Justin with a great deal of skepticism, but he could see that the blond had made up his mind. One thing he knew about Justin was that when he had made up his mind, he seldom wavered in his decisions. Ethan shook Justin's hand free from his arm and walked over to the coat hooks near the door. He grabbed his jacket and slipped into it. He turned to Justin, frowning.

"Alright, Justin. You've made yourself perfectly clear. You go ahead and start your new life in Canada. Don’t even bother to think a thing about the people you are leaving behind. Who knows? Maybe you'll become a big star with a ton of fans following your every movement. Maybe you'll even find a lover who won't disappoint you like I obviously have. Just remember one thing... if you crash and burn, you can’t come slinking back here with your tail between your legs and expect me to pick up the pieces. I'm moving on too. Good-bye, Justin."

With that, Ethan walked out of Justin's door and his life. Justin had been surprised at how little emotion he felt over the break-up. That alone told the whole story. Ethan was obviously not the man for him. Now, days later, he sat at the large conference table with all the other actors and actresses who had roles on the new series. They shared the table with casting directors, script personnel, writers, and the producers of the show. They were all watching each other closely. These were people that they hoped to be working with for a long time to come. And that was the thing about it. Every single one of them felt it... that certain intangible thing that told you that you were about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Where it would lead, not one of them knew for certain. All they knew was that they were ready to take that journey. The future was calling to them.

To be continued.....................


	4. Getting to Know the Players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a first meeting of all the major casts for the new TV series, 'Queer Folk & Family', which the Producers of the show have arranged, we will get to know a little bit about the actors and their characters. To help you keep everyone straight, I am giving you a rundown of who is who. Remember that this is totally fictional in every way, despite some similarities between the real actors from QAF and the fictional people from this story. P.S. I have also altered the real names of the Producers of QAF for the purpose of this story, and to protect the innocent. LOL!
> 
> Actor: - QFF Character:  
> Brian Kinney - Gabriel Hagan  
> Justin Taylor - Reece Hartley  
> Emmett Hunnicutt - Pete Booker  
> Ted Schmidt - Scotty Hyle  
> Michael Novotny - Hank Spears  
> Susan Glesser - Debbie Spears  
> Lindsay Peterson - Tayah Gilley  
> Melanie Marcus - Michele Clooney  
> Daphne Chanders - Maya Smith  
> Jennifer Taylor - Sherry Hartley  
> Chris Hobbs - Alec McClaire

They were all there, and all of them making no bones about the fact that they were sizing each other up. The head producers, Bowen and Gripman, were particularly interested in seeing how their primary players were going to react to each other off the set. The men, who were a long-time couple in real life, had nearly thirty years of experience in show business and were all too aware that a show's success was often dependent on a harmonious set. It wasn't necessary for them to all love each other... many a show had succeeded, despite constant conflict among the cast and/or crew... but it certainly didn't hurt an actor's performance if they truly cared about their fellow actors. As they watched the group of men and women on the cast side of the table, they sensed something comforting about them. Call it a hunch, they both thought, but there was definitely positive energy flowing in the room. Bowen, the more forceful of the two men, was the first to break the silence.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the very first meeting of our 'Queer Folk & Family' get-togethers. This will be a daily event on every shooting day, for those of you unfamiliar with the world of television productions. You will all receive a shooting schedule every day, with instructions for yourself concerning wardrobe, make-up, and what scene will be shot that day. We will also have a table reading for all those involved in the day's shootings. I... we can't express strongly enough how excited we are about this new series. We've already talked to each of you briefly, but let me reiterate to all of you together... we plan on taking this series where no one on television has had the guts to go before."

Gripman then spoke up in a much quieter voice. "We fell in love with the characters from the British version of this show, so we knew immediately that we could successfully Americanize them. It hasn't been an easy road getting the green light for the project, as I'm sure you can imagine, given the subject matter we are tackling, but our cable network is willing to take a chance on us and we are not... I repeat, not going to fail them. In the beginning our audience will probably be limited primarily to folks in the LGBTQ community, but we hope to draw in others through word of mouth. We've only been given the green light for six episodes, but we've already been working on ideas for the scripts for further episodes. That's how strongly we believe in the show... and believe in all of you."

"That's right," Bowen interrupted. "Every one of you has been picked because you fit the image of exactly what we had in mind for our characters. You gave the best auditions, and we have no doubt at all of your great talent. Some of you have already proven your skills winning awards of one kind or another. We're even blessed with an Emmy winner in our midst," he said proudly, glancing over at Susan Glesser. "I see nothing but talent as I look around this room, and all we ask is that you give one hundred percent of yourself to the project. Folks," he added, pausing for dramatic effect, "we are going to make history here. By the time we wrap this show up, they'll never forget us, or what we have done here. We give you our solemn promise on that score."

A smattering of applause broke out in the room. Most of the actors had heard similar pep talks before now, but there was an air of credibility to this one. The excitement was already building, even though they hadn't put one scene to film yet. That was a good sign of things to come. Bowen raised his hands in front of him to quiet the room down again.

"Okay! I can see that you are all with us on this. Now, since most of you are going to play very... and I do mean very, close friends and/or family, then I think it would be a really good idea to get to know each other a little better before we even start. From what we have gathered, most of you have not met each other before now. I think most civilians believe that folks in show business are just one big happy family, but we know that is far from true. So, let's get better acquainted. I want you to start at the end of the table. Tell us a little bit about yourselves, and how you perceive the character you are going to play. We'll start with you, Susan, since you are the best known among us."

All eyes turned to the silver-haired lady at the end of the table on the right. She was obviously over fifty but held her looks admirably. One could see that she was quite attractive in her youth. Her face, unlike most of the others, was very recognizable. Everyone in the room was eager to see if she would be one of the gang, using her celebrity status to be a bit of a diva. They weren't sure what to expect.

"Okay, as the elder statesperson of our little family, I'll start the ball rolling. My name is Susan Glesser, and let me tell you right up front... I see this show as a collaborative effort, in which I am happy to be one small part of. I've been married for about ten years to my one and only husband, and I have no kids at all, unless you count nieces and nephews. Playing the part of Debbie Spears, mother of an adult gay son, is a first for me, but I am really looking forward to it. I picture her as slightly over-the-top and a bit outrageous at times, but with a heart of gold that makes her the surrogate mom to all the gay sons and daughters who need her. I think the relationship with her son is going to be complicated on the one hand, yet straight-forward on the other hand. It simply boils down to the fact that she loves her son more than anything on earth. I look forward to working with all of you. Oh, and by the way, I've been in this business far too long to be super sensitive. You will not have to walk on eggshells around me. Next..."

The producers had deliberately placed folks next to each other at the table who were probably going to interact the most during the show. The next to stand up was an attractive dark-haired young man, about thirty years old, with a winning smile.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Michael Novotny. I have just turned thirty and thought I'd see what it would be like to kiss a guy for the first time. That's why I figured I'd go out for the role of a gay man, who is looking for love. I figured there would be at least one or two men for me to kiss, if I got the part." A few twitters of laughter could be heard around the table. "I have the honor of playing Miss Glesser's son, Hank Spears, on the show. I see Hank as the most loyal friend a guy could have, and the most loving son a mother could wish for. All Hank wants in life is to find Mr. Right, but please... I only ask one favor of the casting directors. Please find me a love interest without a beard. I can handle the love scenes, but I'm not sure I can handle the facial hair. Almost forgot... I'm still single in real life, so that part should come easy for me. Oh, and I have my own band, so if anyone needs serenading, to cut the tension or relax, I'm your man. Oh yes, I also have been the host on my own comedy show on TV before this, so forgive me if I get a bit silly without warning. It's in my nature."

That's where I've seen this guy before, Brian Kinney mused to himself. He then realized that Michael had sat down, and he was up next. He rose to speak. All eyes zeroed in on him, especially the blond sitting on his other side. By now, all the other actors were aware that his character was the lynch pin of the entire series.

"Guess I'm next. My name is Brian Kinney and I'll be playing the role of Gabriel Hagan, the hottest stud in the city. Now this is going to be quite a stretch for me, because being a hot stud party-boy is as far from my real life as one can get. Also, still single like Michael here, but not really looking either. Been too busy building a career to search for love. I feel comfortable with Gabe, because I see him as a dedicated businessman, who is far too busy building a reputation as the best in his field to worry about romance. Actually, I think it will be obvious from the start that romance is the last thing Gabe wants in his life. I see him as a damaged man, who refuses to trust anyone with his heart, thanks to really cold parents and a truly dysfunctional upbringing. I don't see him as closeted, nor do I see him as being open about his sexuality. I just see him as being himself, and screw anyone who doesn't approve. I feel blessed to have this part, because it looks like I'll get to interact with every single one of you. I am eager to get it started. I think we have a winner here."

Justin was so busy hanging on every word coming out of Brian’s mouth, that he was caught off-guard for a split second when Brian had to say, ‘Next’, twice to the blond sitting next to him. Justin found himself surprised at how disappointed he felt when Brian said nothing about his own personal orientation, although it really wasn't anyone's business.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My turn, I guess,” he quickly responded, once he realized that Brian was talking to him. “I'm Justin Taylor and a bit older than most folks think I am. I'm in my early twenties, and I have to confess that this is my very first film role, so I hope you will be patient with me. I've spent most of my career on the stage, which is my first love. I'm taking on the role of Reece Hartley. This gives me an advantage, having lived some of his life myself, because I've been out ever since my teens. And that is all I'll say about that," he laughed. "I see Reece as a rather brave young man, with a deeply romantic heart, who was lucky enough to find the right guy to initiate him into being gay, or at least one part of it, on his very first adventure into a gay lifestyle. I have no significant other myself, and never have really been in love (dismissing Ethan from his life entirely without a second thought), so it will be interesting to see how it plays out with my character being so infatuated with his first lover."

Justin looked to the side, and his eyes locked on Brian's, like they had the first time they saw each other. A funny feeling hit the pit of his stomach, momentarily distracting him. He recovered quickly, however, and moved on with his speech.

"Although I see Reece as being a little naive in some ways, I don't see him as being foolish or stupid. I think that Reece is a quick learner, and in many ways a guy with more guts than men much older than himself. I also see him as being one of the most loyal friends anyone can ask for...and hopefully someone the writers will want to keep around for a very long time."

Justin smiled broadly with that last statement, and there wasn't a person in the group who didn't respond to it. The thought flashed through the mind of the head writer, that Justin had a smile as bright as the morning sun. He made a mental note to give Reece the perfect nickname... 'Sunshine', since it was the right fit for his character. Justin was finished with his turn, so they moved on to an actor who was every bit as tall as Brian. He was beautifully built, with an equally charming smile.

"Hello, folks. My name is Emmett Honeycutt. I will be playing the role of Pete Booker. I've been in the business since early childhood and done just about everything you can imagine. My big dream is to write, produce, and direct my own works in the future, but meantime a juicy role cannot be passed up. I see Petey as a role, which is as juicy as it gets. I personally see myself as a masculine guy, but I love the opportunity to play a character far more flamboyant than myself. I think Petey will be the heart of their little circle of friends. He's the guy who will be too nice for his own good sometimes. That's about it for now. Next..."

Emmett looked over at the dark-haired fellow next to him and took his seat. The slightly older man stood up.

"Okay, looks like it is my turn now. The name is Ted Schmidt and I have the role of Scotty Hyle. I originally went out for the role of Pete, but apparently I looked more like an uptight bookworm than the life of the party." Ted grinned to show that it was perfectly acceptable to him. "I see Scotty as the level-headed member of this odd mix of gay gentlemen, but also the one guy who is most uncomfortable in his skin, even though he doesn't try to be closeted with anyone. All Scotty needs is to find the right guy and settle down. Hopefully he'll be given the chance to find a real love match somewhere along the line, although I haven't come close to finding one for myself." Another big grin. "If I have any questions on how to act gay, I have the most reliable source one can ask for. My wonderful brother came out to our family some time ago, so I'll get my tips from him. I have to say that I am so proud of the producers for taking on such a daunting task with this series, showing the world that LGBTQ folks are just like any other ordinary everyday people. I am quite sure that I will be proud to have my name associated with this endeavor, and I look forward to spending a lot more time with all of you. Now I think it is time we heard from the female side of our little group." He waved to the tall blonde lady next to him.

The attractive young woman stood up. "My name is Lindsay Peterson and I may be the only Canadian lead on this series, or at least as far as I can tell. I've been in a number of roles on stage and film, but this will be my first ever gay role, and I am super excited about the chance to play Tayah Gilley. I've been married for almost ten years, so I know a little bit about being a devoted couple. The way I see it, love is the same, whether it be between a man and woman or two folks of the same sex. That's how I expect to play Tayah... as a woman very much in love with her partner, and willing to work hard for their relationship. Of course, like all marriages there is nothing like a good conflict now and then to clear the air. Hopefully, the writers will see fit to throw a few roadblocks in Tayah's way. Apparently she has a bit of a crush on her close friend, Gabe, so maybe Brian will have the chance for a love scene or two with a lady," she laughed, glancing over at the attractive actor who caught her eye the moment he entered the room. "I look forward to working with all of you," she concluded, sitting down. 

Before the dark-haired slender woman sitting next to her could rise from her seat, Lindsay stood back up. 

"By the way, I want to thank the producers for making the decision to film here in Toronto, since this is my hometown. It looks like I may be the only one able to go home after work, instead of to a typical hotel room. Of course, if the show takes off the way I predict it will, I want you all to know that I have a great friend who is a real estate agent, and I'm sure she could find you perfect places to rent for your time in my lovely country. Just let me know. I am also happy to help you find the best places to eat and relax after a hard day's work. Sorry, next....." 

She took her seat again and watched as the last woman on their side of the table stood up.

"I guess I'm last, but hopefully not least, although I can see that I'm in fine company. The name is Melanie Marcus, but you can call me Mel. Most of my friends do. Like most of you, I'm still single and waiting for my career to become more established before settling down with one guy. I wanted to be a ballet dancer originally, but I dropped out and got into acting when that seemed to be where my muse was leading me. I've done mostly television and just a few movie roles. I see the part of Michele Clooney as a great opportunity to try something completely out of my comfort zone. That's how one grows as an actor. Since Michele will be a lawyer and slightly older than her girlfriend, I see her as the level-headed member of the duo. Sorry, Lindsay," she laughed. "I also see her as a lioness, willing to take on anyone who might hurt her loved ones, especially Lindsay's character. I agree with Lindsay. I predict that this is going to be one hell of a show and every person at this table will never forget it."

Bowen waited for Melanie to sit down before addressing the group again.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I like what I see and hear in this room today. I am totally confident that we have the right cast for our lead roles, and we are really pleased with the supporting cast too. We are throwing a party tonight in honor of the launch of production, at last. This is so that all the cast and crew, who will be involved with each other on a regular basis, can have the chance to meet and find out a bit more about each other. I know that you guys have enough experience in the past to be able to tell that we have one of the best crews in the business. We've worked with most of them before, so things should run smoothly. If you ever have any questions or suggestions, just remember that we have an open-door policy on this show. That doesn't mean we will use all your ideas, but we want you to inhabit your characters. We want you to get to know them better than anyone else does, even the writers. I can promise you that we'll take any suggestions you have to heart, whether we use them or not. Now, for the rest of the day, you'll get a complete tour of the facilities, and then we'll hand out your very first scripts, along with the order for shooting, which will begin early tomorrow... so don't go home drunk from the party, please," he laughed to soften what was actually a direct order. "Any questions?"

The producers looked around the table. No one seemed confused or concerned. That was a good sign. If they were nervous, hopefully the jitters and uncertainty would fade during the party. It would absolutely have to for a few of the actors. They had scheduled sex scenes right off the bat. They were going by the theory that it was best to plunge into the freezing water, head-first. If the actors could get through that, they could handle anything. It was going to be one hell of an ice-breaker. Bowen and Gripman just prayed the actors were up to it, and it didn't break them instead. 

To be continued.................


	5. First Day of Shooting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time to get down to business of the set of the new cable television series, Queer Folk and Family. Just how will this first day progress for lead actors, Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor? That's the question.

The set was abuzz with activity everywhere one looked. To the uninitiated, it appeared to be sheer chaos. To the experienced, it was actually tightly controlled chaos. For the slim figure of the handsome blond in the corner, it was different and yet somehow familiar to what he was used to in his everyday work life. Justin sat as far off to the corner of the first set he would work on for his new show as he could get, in order to observe and learn. Justin was the consummate actor... a young man who knew how to pay attention and draw knowledge from those around him. He was a true student of human nature. He held tightly to his first script with his lines clearly marked for ease of reading. 

Justin looked down at his script frequently, but he really wasn't as nervous as he might have appeared, to someone watching him casually. He had an excellent memory. He had spent some time the night before, once the party had wound down, and many more hours this morning running his lines over and over in his head. He still wasn't quite certain how he would play the pivotal scene they were going to shoot first, so he had decided he would take his cues from his co-star. The image of his co-star, Brian Kinney, sprang to mind again without warning. It flustered Justin just slightly. It was odd how he always seemed to have a physical reaction when thinking about Kinney. Justin had been in countless plays on the stage, and he could honestly say that he never remembered having such a reaction to any co-star (male or female) before. Well, he told himself, that would have to stop. He had a job to do and his reactions were decidedly not in the best interest of giving a great performance. 

Just then, as if he had been summoned through telepathy, the object of Justin's attraction appeared around a corner where several cameramen were working on setting up for the shots to be filmed. Brian spotted Justin's fair hair first and moved over quickly to join him. Justin glanced up from the script in his hand as if he had just noticed Brian was around. He offered the older man a charming, slightly lopsided smile. Brian smiled back. He tried to ignore the foreign feeling he got at seeing that bright smile. Brian took a seat on the chair next to Justin's, leaning over to tap the script in the young man's hand. 

"So, do you think you're ready for this?" Brian asked Justin off-handedly. "You have to give Bowen and Gripman credit. They did warn us that we were going to be thrown into the deep end of the pool from the get-go. I have to say that this first scene certainly qualifies for that statement, wouldn't you?” Brian mused.

Justin took a deep breath. "Well, it is a little different from what I'm used to," Justin stated, but suddenly blushed. "I mean... ahhh, I mean not that I'm innocent.... I mean, well, you know what I mean. I've never really done any sex scenes on stage. I mean, I've kissed a few ladies but that is one hell of a huge stretch from this." Justin laughed nervously. "It's always been just talk before. I don't think that the guys want us to phone this in. It is so obvious that they meant business when they said they wanted to make a show that was nothing like anything seen on television before."

"You have no problem with all the sex... right?" Brian asked, looking a tad amused. 

"Hell no," Justin blustered. "As long as the sex isn't just there for the sake of titillation, I'm all for it. Damned if it isn't time that queers like myself have our chance to be fully human, like all the straight dudes of the world," Justin added, glancing to the side to see how Kinney would react to the statement. 

Justin felt very unsure as to what kind of man his co-star really was. It was obvious to one and all that they had chemistry together, but that didn't have to mean a thing. There was more than one kind of chemistry and not all of it was combustible. Kinney hadn't really given a clue as to his proclivities in the privacy of his bedroom during their first round-table talks, or later at the welcoming party. The party had been a success in many ways. There was already a kind of camaraderie among cast and crew that one seldom found so quickly on a new show. Bowen and Gripman, better known as Bowgrip Productions in the entertainment industry, had already worked with a large number of the crew, and the casting had obviously been a work of genius. A couple of introductory scenes had already been filmed by other cast members, specifically the scene at a dance club, where good buddies Pete, Scotty, and Hank were waiting on stud Gabe to finish a quickie before heading home for the night.

Actors, Emmett, Ted, and Michael were now on break, waiting for the evening hour when both Brian and Justin would join them for the scene outside the club when Gabe spots the young teen, Reece for the first time. Normally a sensitive sex scene between two actors, who are virtual strangers, would be saved for later, once they felt more comfortable with each other, but the producers had decided they wanted as much authenticity as they could get. Gabe was meeting this kid for the very first time and Reece was a total novice. Making them create this scene under these circumstances was as authentic as one could get.

Things had gone quiet between the two actors. They had each drifted off into their own thoughts. Justin checked his script again, although he knew he didn't need to. He had an educated guess as to how the scene was going to play out, and he sensed he wasn't going to be far from the mark. Brian had his script rolled up and stuffed into his pocket, but he didn't need to check it either. He had a photographic memory, something he cherished as an actor. Suddenly the thought sprang to Brian's mind that neither he nor Justin had been given the chance to actually rehearse anything. He wondered for a moment why no one had suggested it. It would have most assuredly made the actual physical movements more comfortable for both of them. He started to say something, but Justin spoke up first.

"I don't know about you, but I'd feel a whole lot better if we could at least work on our lines together at least once before we face the cameras. I mean, if you wouldn't mind."

Brian smiled. Great minds think alike, he thought to himself. To Justin, he responded with, "Well, I know that the producers want us to be spontaneous but a little rehearsal can't do any harm."

Justin nodded and smiled, letting out a small sigh of relief. The men got up and moved further away from the interior of the set, which was actually quite an exciting one. It was designed to look like a very large open space in a loft apartment with a clear line of separation between kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom, and bedroom. The most prominent area was the bedroom, to be expected since it would no doubt have the most action. The two men took seats on furniture just outside the line of vision from the center stage. 

"Where do you want to start?" Brian asked Justin. 

Justin opened his script and flipped through a couple of pages. His eyes zeroed in on a very intimate moment as Gabe first ushers the teen into his loft apartment. 

"How about here?" Justin asked. "It's been quite a few years since the day I was in this same position in real life, but I think I can recall how scary it was."

"And was it?" Brian interrupted.

"Was it what?" Justin asked.

"Scary? After all, it isn't every day that a kid goes from hugging first base on the baseball field to hugging the first baseman in his bed." Brian grinned.

Justin hated himself. He could feel the heat rising from his neck, and he knew damned good and well that he had just blushed. Hell, the first time hadn't even been that good or memorable, so why the embarrassment?

"First of all, who said I was just a kid the first time? Secondly, I never played sports. I've been on the stage since childhood. All I ever wanted was that stage. I can sit through a sports game, but only if it's to impress some really hot guy who is into that sort of thing. Dancing and singing are all the exercises I need. I'd rather cut off a nut than run around bases, getting nowhere."

Brian couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing. The image of Justin running around bases naked and holding on tightly to his family jewels was unavoidable. He sobered up quickly when he saw the scowl on Justin's face.

"I'm sorry, kid. Really, I am. I wasn't laughing at you, nor did I mean to imply anything about your masculinity. Hell, I'll bet working on the stage is far harder labor than running bases any day."

Justin's face softened almost instantly. There was something so sweet about the way Brian obviously didn't want to offend him. Justin appreciated it. The couple decided to change the subject and get down to business. Almost an hour later, they heard their names being called. They stepped back onto the set and moved over to the center where Bowen and Gripman, along with the Director chosen for this first episode, were standing. They both noticed right away that the rather large crowd that had been on-set earlier had dispersed. 

"You guys ready for this?" asked Bowen. "As promised, the set has been cleared off of all unnecessary personnel. We will only have ourselves, your Director, makeup, wardrobe, lighting, and cameramen available to you. Since this is so new to you, we are cutting you a break. If you start to feel uncomfortable or need a short time-out you can have it. All we ask is that you try to remember who you are playing and give it all you've got. We intend for your scene to literally set the tone for the entire production from this moment on. We want our audience to fall in love with you from the moment you two touch each other, and we want them to remember this event for as long as possible."

Brian and Justin nodded their heads, chiming in at the same time that they were ready. They were both already dressed in the clothes for the scene, but Bowen pointed over to a large enclosed cubicle where wardrobe was waiting. They were reminded again that it was entirely their choice if they wanted to use a well-known prop called the cock-sock to enshrine their privates during the scene. It was advised that they do so, in case the camera angle revealed too much. The couple nodded in full agreement, before moving off to the cubicles. They each entered a separate one where a wardrobe master waited for them. They slipped their pants down and watched carefully as their helper demonstrated how to use the device safely and securely. It just so happened that both of their helpers were gay. The men would have whistled out loud, if it weren't for the fact that it would be deemed unprofessional. The glimpse of both Brian and Justin's packages was quite impressive, and they filled out their respective socks with distinction. They quickly pulled pants back up and zippered. Moments later they were fully dressed on-set again.

Everything was ready. Bowen and Gripman moved off-set, taking their places so they could observe this first shooting. They would certainly not attend every shooting, but this was the big one. It was make-it or break-it time. Brian and Justin took their marks just outside a massive sliding door to the loft. Lighting was ready. Silence was called for. Cameras began rolling. 

"Action!" came the word from the Director forcefully.

The sliding door moved aside as one of the inside cameras captured the vision of a self-confident Gabe striding purposefully into his loft, followed by the slow timid steps of a hesitantly eager young Reece. Gabe walked straight to his fridge and pulled out a cooling bottle of water. He threw off his shirt as he instructed young Reece to close the door. An outside camera captured the split second of indecision on Reece's face as he squared his shoulders, before pulling the door closed. Another camera zeroed in on the different emotions playing across Reece's face as his mouth went dry when he saw Gabe remove his jeans, leaving him in nothing but a jock strap. He then began to pour the water slowly, tantalizingly, down his face, neck, and shoulders. 

Brian spoke his lines as Gabe, asking the young man if he was going... or coming... or coming, then going. Justin didn't speak at all. As Reece, he began moving forward until he was only inches from the body of his first fuck. Slow... oh so slowly, the two actors connected. Gabe was now naked and had begun to remove constraining clothes from Reece's body. Gabe was into it. He was feeling it and felt Reece trembling in his arms. Their first kiss... Brian had to concentrate. Something was happening. He felt a tight constriction between his legs. What had started out as a secure piece of cloth around his privates was now an almost painful mass of raw nerve that no longer ran loosely down his leg. 

Justin was not having it any easier than Brian. He was having no trouble reacting to Brian's Gabe as a kid who was tasting sex for the first time. The problem was that he knew exactly what could come next, and whether he wanted it to or not, the truth was that he wanted to have a little of the real thing with this actor. He thought he felt a hardness against his own thigh, but he instantly dismissed the notion as wishful thinking, and dug deeper into Reece's psyche. The kissing scene finally came to a welcome end. Any longer and both actors feared they would have more to deal with than their Director's critique. They needn't have worried. Once the Director yelled, 'Cut', wardrobe rushed over to offer Brian a robe. Justin was still clothed for the most part. His exposure would come in the second part of these first three important scenes. 

For now, the actors were given a break as the next shot was set up. There was one brief moment of awkwardness as they moved off-set, but Brian's sharp wit with some crack about coitus interruptus was just the thing needed to melt the tension. Several of the crew, including Justin laughed along with the handsome brunet. The actors were so busy dealing with the unexpected reaction to their hot kisses that they failed to notice the stunned looks on the faces of Bowen and Gripman. The real-life couple, however, were far more observant.

"Did you see what I saw?" Bowen asked his partner. 

Gripman nodded vigorously, his mouth still wide open.

"Did I just imagine those two were out there making magic together in a matter of minutes? I'm telling you, Sweetheart, those two have more than mere chemistry going for them. Do you think either of them recognizes it yet?"

"I don't know, but this is either going to make our show the biggest hit this cable network has ever seen, or it is going to ruin us. It is all going to play out in whatever way they end up dealing with each other... and I don't mean just on-set."

Gripman nodded again. "So, the die is cast. There is no going back." 

And they were so right. By the end of the first day of shooting, Gabriel and Reece had been born, and now the fate of a show, its characters, its crew, its fans, and the personal lives of its cast would be forever changed. 

To be continued...............


	6. The First Day of Shooting Is In the Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for us to take a peek into how things are going for actors, Brian and Justin, with their first day of shooting on the new series, Queer Folk and Family.

The day was over, and for the cast and crew of 'Queer Folk & Family' it had been both exhausting and exciting. To a man and woman, they had not failed to notice that they were involved in something beyond the ordinary. If good chemistry was the golden ticket to a successful show, then this new series was a hit already. All of the actors and actresses seemed to have that special chemistry with each other. No one seemed out of place at whatever set they were giving their performances, and no one was phoning it in. They all seemed to inhabit their character as if it was a second skin. 

After only one day of shooting, folks saw the comfortable atmosphere around the entire main cast, and it overflowed onto the bit players and extras. Many of the extras in the crowd scenes were actually citizens of Toronto who had heard about the shooting of an American version of the gay-themed hit from England, and they wanted desperately to be a part of it. Word of mouth had spread quickly through the LGBTQ grapevine, and once the doors had opened for casting of extras and bit players, the lines had stretched around the block with eager applicants. There had been scenes filmed on this first day in a dance club they were calling 'Sodom', and the extras did their best to look authentic, while dancing to silent music, so that the actors could be heard while emoting. Apparently, they did a good job. The director was effusive with his praise for one and all.

Finally, after a workday that went far into the evening hours, a wrap was called for the day, and the actors were released. Some of them had already finished their work for the day before heading back home, or to their hotel rooms. Each of them had enough experience in the business to know that they had just become a part of something special. They left the studio that day with smiles from ear to ear. They were more than happy at the thought of returning the next day to become these new characters that they already felt a part of. The last two actors to leave for the day also felt a real connection to their characters, but they left the studio that night with entirely different emotions churning inside them.

Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor had finished up their final scene for the day. It was the third and final portion of a three-part scene, all inside the loft apartment of Brian's character, Gabriel Hagan. The first part had been hard enough on the actors, but at least Justin had still been half dressed. The second part of the scene started shooting with Justin's character, Reece, lying on Gabe's bed without a stitch of clothing on. Of course, Justin was wearing his cock-sock, and only his pale blond bush of curlies above the main attraction was actually visible to the half dozen pairs of eyes on the set. What made it difficult for the actor was that he wasn't alone. Brian, as Gabe, was sitting astride him. Brian's torso and long legs served as a barrier to the camera, so that only Justin's naked legs from the thigh down, and upper body from the stomach up, could be seen on film.

It took several takes to get the scene just right. In the scene, Gabe was providing a helpful hand job to the inexperienced Reece. Justin's cock had started out innocently enough as a soft appendage tucked safely between his thighs. The problem was that the moment Brian swung his leg over Justin's body, and settled himself into position across Justin's thighs, the young actor felt himself growing, slowly but surely. It didn't help that Brian's cock-sock rested against his lower abdomen. Justin had tried everything he could think of to ignore what a hefty package he felt on his bare skin, but it was in vain. He, who seldom missed a line on stage, found himself forced to do more than one re-take, when he flubbed a couple of simple lines during the shooting. At least he knew he got one thing right. In the scene, Reece starts to swat at Gabe, who is distracted by a phone call, when he finds himself on the edge of orgasm from the absent-minded hand job Gabe is administering. Justin knew the look on his face mirrored his own real-life desperation. Brian wasn't even touching his cock, but Justin felt like he was about to lose control.

Of course, what Justin didn't realize was that Brian was having similar problems. Brian had given countless hand jobs over the years. so he had no problem with simulating one as Gabe. His problem was that he was looking down at a young man who moved him. He was well aware that the actor, Justin, was an experienced gay man, who was really only five or six years younger than he, but he appeared to be a very young and vulnerable kid, as he lay stretched out under him. Brian had always had a protective side to him that his closest friends had seen displayed many times over the years. As he sat astride the actor, Brian found himself wanting to protect the character he was supposed to be seducing. Protect him from what, was the question? That's when Brian noticed that his cock-sock was feeling tight again. Protect him from what I want to do to him, was the thought that suddenly raced through Brian's head.

It hadn't been easy, but both Brian and Justin were skilled actors, and they somehow managed to get control of their emotions. Mid-way through that second shooting, they were totally in character again, and the rest of the scene flowed smoothly. As they were walking off the set in the large white robes that wardrobe had provided for them, they kept their eyes averted from one another. Once they had gone to their individual dressing cubicles off stage and re-dressed, they found it far easier to look each other in the eye, as they chatted about everyday things while waiting for the final set-up for the day. Neither man was ready to admit to an attraction between them. One thing they both wanted was a friendship. They were fairly certain that there would be a number of intimate scenes to deal with in the future, and they sensed that it would be much easier to deal with them if they had an off-screen friendship going for them. 

A dinner break had been called and the actors headed over to the small studio cafeteria that was still open for business. They walked down the line and filled their trays with the chosen items. Justin grinned at Brian's healthy choices, while he added a large steakburger and fries to his tray. Apparently, their attraction to each other wasn't the only thing that was eerily like the characters they were playing. They took a seat across the table from each other and began eating, stopping to give away a tidbit about themselves to the other, in between bites of their well-prepared meals. Shortly after, they were joined by a couple of the cameramen they had been working with, who had noticed their half-empty table after getting their own meals. The crewmen sensed from the beginning that these men were not the type of actors who felt they were somehow better than their crew. They felt they would be welcome to share a table, even with the stars of the show. They were right. Conversation continued to flow smoothly, as each man in turn told a story that only a show business insider would appreciate.

Justin was the first to finish his meal, and notice that their hour-long dinner break was almost over. He reminded everyone at the table that they needed to get back on set and gathered his things onto his tray for disposal. The younger of the two cameramen joined him and the two hurried off. Brian finished his last bite of Caesar Salad and began gathering his things too. Louis, a man of indeterminate age, and nearly thirty years behind the camera, dabbed at his mouth with his napkin before preparing to leave too. As the two men deposited their trays, Brian was stopped from leaving when Louis grabbed his arm. He turned around surprised.

"Look, Mr. Kinney...."

"Brian."

"Look, Brian, I'm the one behind the camera with the best view, and I just want you to know that I sympathize with your predicament."

"Predicament? What are you talking about?" Brian asked, clearly puzzled.

"Okay, I hope you won't think I am overstepping my boundaries here, but I've been on twice as many sets as you have teeth in your head, and my Dad was a cameraman before me. I can tell you right now that your problem is a lot more common than actors will ever admit to. You don't even have to be head over heels attracted to your co-star to face your problem. My dad used to tell me how grateful the old-time actors were in the Golden Age of Hollywood, because the fashion for men included loose-fitting slacks that hid a multitude of sins, plus they seldom had to remove their pants like they do nowadays. Your generation doesn't have it so easy. You get stimulated and it is a lot harder to disguise."

Brian caught on quickly to where Louis was leading the conversation. "So, what do you recommend I do about it? I mean, given your vast experience. I swear I've never had this problem crop up before. I don't know what it is about Taylor, but he gets my juices flowing every time."

"Well now," Louis began, seeming to think things over carefully. "You could always just tell him how he is making you feel, and maybe he would be willing to explore something between you."

"Hell, no!" Brian blurted out. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against sleeping with a man," he went on, not quite outing himself. "It's just that I don't think it is such a good idea to blur the lines between reality and fiction. I've seen more than one show destroyed by a relationship gone sour between its two leads. We don't even know yet what they plan for our characters. We have enough to worry about on that score. We don't need to take all that home at night, too. Any other thoughts?"

"Okay, I see your point. I know of one actor, who shall remain nameless but is now a superstar, who once told me that he would picture his mother or sister in his head, whenever he had an intimate scene with a co-star that he was attracted to, which was practically every co-star he ever acted with. He said it tended to keep the fires down every time. Of course, you could always use saltpeter to keep it down, but then again I heard that that is an old wives tale, and it doesn't really work. Maybe you could jerk off just before going on set. Of course, that would only work if it took you a long time to be ready for more."

The look on Brian's face to that comment spoke volumes.

"Okay, there is always the old... just-go-with-the-flow theory. I remember once that the great actor, Sean Connery, said he told all his co-stars he wanted to apologize beforehand if he got an erection when they acted together, and he also apologized if he didn't. I think that's the healthiest attitude. I'm sure that Justin isn't going to be offended, whether you respond to him physically or not, even with all our crew circling you guys."

Brian laughed. "Now that's the kind of advice I like. I think I'll just go with the flow. And if that doesn't work, and I feel the need to be in control more, I'll try that mom thing. Believe me, thinking of dear old mom will kill any unwanted reactions this body might have."

Brian clapped Louis on the shoulder, and the two men hurried off. If all the crew was going to turn out like Louis, Brian was looking forward to months of shooting even more than before. He refused to let how much he would enjoy months of shooting with Justin creep into his thoughts too, although it was buried somewhere back there in the deepest recesses. By the time the men had all arrived back on the loft set, they were ready to begin shooting the final third of the series of scenes inside the loft, for the first episode. This would be their final sex scene. Brian, in character as Gabe, proceeded to simulate the taking of teenage Reece's virginity in several takes, as the lovemaking was captured from various angles. 

Brian found himself handling the more intimate moments better this time around, as he conjured up images of his disapproving mother. Her image vanished momentarily when he went in for the first of a series of passionate kisses, as he was supposedly thrusting himself inside Reece's ass for the first time, but he forced himself to think of her again as he pulled back. It deflated his growing manhood, just as quickly as it had risen. Brian was thankful that there were no lines to speak during the scene, once Gabe had announced that he didn't want Reece to ever forget that he was the first one inside him. In this way, he was able to concentrate on his facial reactions. Brian was amazed at the look on Justin's face. He knew that Justin was not a virgin, but the look on his face was one of sheer bliss, as he was supposed to be discovering what it felt like to be made love to for the first time by a practiced individual. He hoped his own face was giving just as good a performance.

It had grown quite late by the time the Director announced a wrap to the first day’s shootings. The ordeal of getting the first sexual encounters in the can was over, and both cast and crew were happy with the work accomplished. Now it was a simple matter of the producers and editors viewing the daily rushes, and working on a finished product. The next day’s shooting was reserved for scenes inside a hospital set, where Gabriel was about to become a father, thanks to his sperm donation to good friend, Tayah Gilley and her partner, Michele Clooney. It would be the first time that actors Brian, Justin, Michael, Melanie, and Lindsay would work together. Brian was looking forward to it. He could keep his clothes on and the scenes were very emotional. 

As Brian stepped out the studio door, he looked for the cab he had called to take him to his hotel. He spotted Justin as he was about to enter a cab that had just pulled up to the curb. He called out to the young man and was rewarded by a wave to join him. Brian hurried over. 

"Why don't we share a ride?" Justin suggested. "You are staying at the downtown Ramada Inn where most of us are set up, right?"

"That's right," Brian answered. "I'm in 611. Where are you?"

"I'm sharing a room with one of the hair and make-up guys. We're in Room 415."

"Ah, then I guess it pays to be a latecomer," Brian laughed. "By the time I arrived they were all out of double rooms. I ended up in a single. Do I know your roomie? What's his name?"

Brian was more than a little surprised at his slight irritation over the idea of Justin sharing a room with some other guy. If he didn't get a handle on these totally ridiculous reactions to everything involving Justin Taylor, his chance to make a real name for himself in this industry could be irretrievably lost. 

"Tommy," answered Justin. "He's the cute curly-haired redhead that assists the lead hairstylist."

There was that irritated feeling again, creeping inside Brian's gut. He called the guy ‘cute’. So what, he told himself. Justin noticed how quiet Brian had gotten.

"Nickel for your thoughts," Justin offered.

Brian's mind snapped back to what Justin was saying. 

"They are hardly worth that, even in today's economy," Brian laughed. "I was just thinking of how happy I am to have this first day of shooting over with. I don't know about you but I'm kind of relieved now that Bowen and Gripman decided to go first with the more intimate scenes, instead of waiting until we got to know each other better. I think it made the scenes feel more authentic." 

Now why in the hell did he bring that subject up, Brian wondered to himself? Justin, who had endured his own struggles with a reaction to being close to Brian, nodded his head.

"I agree with you. It should be smooth sailing for us from now on."

Brian wasn't so sure, but he smiled and nodded his agreement. The rest of the ride included lots of casual chit-chat. Once they got to the hotel, they rode in the elevator up to their own floors, then went their separate ways. To the casual observer, the couple seemed to be no more than a couple of friends parting after spending the day together. Only a very observant person would notice the tiny signs of tension each gave off as they said their goodbyes, when Justin reached his floor, and stepped off the elevator. Smooth sailing sounded good, but neither man was truly certain that their work would turn out that way. The only thing they were certain of was that they would do anything it took to make this show a success. 

To be continued..............


	7. Time to Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first week of shooting for Queer Folk and Family is in the can, waiting to be edited. Producers, Bowen and Gripman decide to show their appreciation for such good work by cast and crew alike.

There was an unmistakable air of excitement in the air. The large meeting room was filled to capacity. Many of those folks were jostling good-naturedly for a position closer to the front of the crowd, hoping to get the best view of the two older men standing on the slightly raised dais at the front of the throng. It had been an exhausting, yet totally satisfying week, and they were all anxious to hear what their leaders had to say. Cast and crew of the new series, Queer Folk & Family, mingled together throughout the room. The actual stars of the show seemed to be gathered together all in one spot at the front, directly in the center. They had been told about the meeting before anyone else, and were the first to arrive. 

Now that the first week of shooting was over, they all realized that they had probably worked harder than ever before in their careers. At the same time, each and every one of them felt like the week had zipped by in a blur. Somewhere inside their hearts, they knew that they had put out some (if not all) of the best work of their lives. They had all worked on numerous scenes together, too, and had already formed the beginnings of tight bonds. Ted and Emmett, who played best friends in the show, had particularly bonded almost immediately. The fact that Ted was straight and Emmett was gay made no difference. They had become like brothers, mischievous ones at that, as they often pulled joint pranks on other castmates. Old pro, Susan Glesser had become Earth Mother to the entire cast and crew. The respect they felt for her was clearly apparent with all who worked with her.

The two lovely ladies of their ensemble had found themselves forming a little clique of their own, often harassing the boys in a lighthearted way. An interesting development occurred when it became apparent that Brian and Melanie had developed a close bond, although their characters were arch- rivals for the affections of Lindsay's character. During break-time conversations, they had discovered that they came from similar backgrounds, and had even worked on projects by the same production companies, although never in the same films. They were often seen with their heads together, chatting during set-up times between scenes. Rumors had already started that they had either become a couple, or were in the process of coupling up. Brian's sexuality was still a mystery, which he took no pains to change.

The other three lead actors, Brian, Justin, and Michael had formed a fast friendship too. The difference was that there was an underlying something going on that couldn't be defined. It certainly wasn't jealousy. Michael had surprised himself the first time he had a scene where he actually kissed Brian. He had steeled himself to give it his all, but was really uncertain how he would handle the task. He had never kissed a man full on the mouth before. The scene was on the roof of the hospital where Gabe's new son had just been born. The character, Gabriel, was freaking out and his best friend, Hank, was doing his best to convince him that his life would go on, and he'd be fine. It was a precarious scene actually shot on the ledge of the roof, with a safety net below, but still risky. The adrenaline that was evident, because of where the scene was being shot, helped Michael a great deal as he delivered his lines and accepted the kiss. Once 'cut' was called, the men stepped down and Michael realized the kiss hadn't been so bad. He and Brian formed an easy friendship from that moment on. 

The problem seemed to lie within the relationship between Brian and Justin. The men were magic while filming their scenes, and were getting along fine off-set as well, so very few people noticed that there was any problem to speak of. That didn't mean a subtle strain went unnoticed by everyone, including the couple themselves. After that first day of shooting, the two men had found themselves spending less and less time together off-set, unless they were in rehearsals or in a group setting. They, and those around them, put it down to the fact that they came from two different worlds... one a stage actor and the other a film actor. One man who knew better was veteran cameraman, Louis. He had been in the business long enough to have a finely tuned gaydar, and he knew exactly what the issue was between lead actors, Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor. He had also been in the business long enough to know that there were certain rules to live by, and keeping one's mouth shut was at the top of the list. No scandal rag had ever made any money off Louis's knowledge of on-set relationships.

It was a good thing for both Brian and Justin that Louis was the go-to cameraman, when it came to most sensitive scenes. Several days after filming their opening sex scenes for Episode One of the series, the couple had to film one last scene in the nude. The scene was set the morning after Gabe and Reece first had sex in the loft apartment. It was shot on a set made to look like an ultra-modern bathroom, including a large glass-walled shower stall. Brian and Justin wore their usual cock-socks, which became soaked clear through during the steamy shower scene. Brian had done his utmost best not to look down at Justin's front until it was required of him for the scene, but the brief glimpse he got as he stepped into the shower gave him a moment's tingle right where he least needed it. 

The actors had worked closely with the director and Louis in order to film the scene perfectly, so that the illusion of them being totally naked under the steamy water would succeed. The first take failed when Brian's sock was exposed too much, but the second take worked perfectly, as Justin lowered his arm to the exact position needed to cover Brian's privates. The lines were spoken perfectly as Reece teased Gabe over his new son, and the women who were his mothers. By this time, both actors had learned to control their inner emotions enough to give their lines exactly the right expression eight or nine times out of ten. The producers were happy to see that their cast usually didn't need take after take to get the work done, especially with Brian and Justin. 

The moment they completed their first shower scene, they hurriedly covered up with waiting robes, and hurried off to their separate dressing areas off stage. It was the last shot for Justin for the day, and by the time he had re-dressed in his street clothes, Brian had already left the set to head over to his next scene... one involving Gabe and best friend, Hank. Justin had secretly hoped to say good-bye to Brian, but swallowed his disappointment and left the studio. In the last few days, he had come to accept the fact that he was attracted to his co-star, but Justin saw no reason to think it was anything more than a one-sided feeling. Brian was always totally professional during their scenes, and never really sought him out when they weren't working together. Justin, being a rather practical minded young man, had decided to use his feelings to make his scenes with Brian more convincing. Outside of that, he refused to explore any further. Even if Brian was not straight, Justin didn't need a closeted man in his life. Life was complicated enough without that.

As for Brian, despite his efforts to ignore his growing attraction to Justin, it simply refused to go away. By the time he was standing in a shower with a nearly naked Justin, he knew it was hopeless. He had accepted the fact that he really wanted to be with the gorgeous blond actor, but Brian had never been a pursuer. He never had to be. Whenever he felt horny and needed a little male companionship, all he had to do was go to one of his favorite spots in L.A., or whatever city he happened to be in at the time, and men would hit on him. He always had his pick from multiple choices. Another of his rules was to never fuck with a fellow actor, at least not while working with them. He was convinced it would affect the work they put out. Of course, this rule was voided once filming wrapped up. This time around it was different. He hoped that this show would be a hit and have a long life, at least for a few seasons. 

Brian felt cold at the thought of trying to connect with Justin after work for two reasons. First of all, if the show did prove to be a success it would probably mean that a lot of work between he and Justin could be harmed by their off-screen relationship. That was something Brian wanted to avoid like the Plague. In addition, if Brian was being totally honest, he had the fear in the back of his mind that he would be rejected if he made a play for Justin. Brian had no experience with being rejected, at least not by another man. But he did know what it felt like to have his family reject him, and it hurt like a motherfucker. He had vowed long ago that no one else would ever make him feel like that, thus his avoidance of close personal relationships over the years, under the guise that his job was more important. Simply put, the thought of Justin shooting him down was more than Brian was willing to risk. 

Now that the first week of work was completed, and the first episode was ready for edit, everyone had found their niche in the making of the series. Friendships were being formed, and folks were learning who they could enjoy, and who to avoid. The producers, Bowen and Gripman, were fully satisfied with how the production of their newest baby had progressed. They knew they had cast the show perfectly, and the writers had put out great work, even though the first couple of episodes were almost carbon copies of the original British version. The real test of the writer's skills would come in further episodes that diverged from the British version. They both looked forward to that time, but first they wanted to show their appreciation for all the hard work their new cast and crew had given them. They looked around them, to see dozens of pairs of eyes watching them, waiting to know why everyone was summoned to this conference room, before being allowed to go home for the weekend.

Bowen again was the first to speak up. He grabbed the microphone from the stand, and tapped it several times until all the voices had quieted down.

"Folks... folks... can I have your attention please? My partner and I have asked you to join us here before you leave, so that we can make an announcement. But first, Dick would like to say something. Dick?"

Gripman took the microphone from his partner. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Phil and I just want to let all of you know how much we appreciate each and every one of you. You can be incredibly proud of the work you have produced for us. I know we are. The first episode is in the can, and ready to be made into pure gold by our talented film editors. As you may know, the series premiere will consist of the first two episodes, so we still have a lot of work to get done, but I know that it will be just as good as what you've already accomplished. When the two episodes are entirely finished, we have decided to have a private showing for the executives from our network, and all of you will receive invitations to the screening. But before we arrive at that point, Phil and I have decided that your efforts for us have earned you a celebration. So we want you all to go back home, or wherever you are staying for the time being, and get spruced up, because you are invited to a little dinner party and dance at the Regency Hotel downtown. Please feel free to bring along a guest, if you’d like. It is just a little token of our esteem for those of you who have given us your all. Now, scoot, and we'll see you at eight tonight. All you'll need is your studio name tag to get in. See you then."

The excited buzz in the room began before the couple could step down from the dais and hurry out the side door. For those who had worked for Bowgrip Productions in the past, this wasn't such a surprise. The producers were known for their generosity and excellent treatment of their staff, often throwing impromptu parties, or giving well deserved raises to employees, who gave their job everything they had. For others, this was a shock. It wasn't that often that they saw this kind of behavior from what amounted to upper management. No one wanted to question it, however. Despite being tired, the thought of a great dinner and party afterwards brought a new spring to everyone's steps. The room cleared out quickly, as both cast and crew headed for home. It was already after five. They only had a few hours to prepare for the evening's festivities. 

***********************************************************

Justin stood at the elevator door on the fourth floor of his hotel, fidgeting while waiting for it to arrive. His roommate, Tommy, stood close by. Tommy was sorry that Justin wasn't going to the party as his date, but then again, he hadn't bothered to ask. He had spent the first of the week flirting outrageously with the beautiful blond actor without getting a single nibble of interest in return for his troubles. Even walking out of the bathroom stark naked after an earlier shower hadn't gotten a rise from Justin. Tommy quickly decided that his efforts were in vain, and dropped the come-ons. It had made for a more comfortable atmosphere between the roomies. Tommy was now intent on seeing what else was available, maybe even someone at the party tonight. As for Justin, he was also going stag to the party. The only one who interested him wasn't interested back, and he wasn't settling for just anyone.

As if on cue, the elevator stopped on their floor and the door slid silently open. Justin found himself face-to-face with the object of his most recent thoughts. Brian saw the blond standing right in front of him, and it took all his will-power to keep from grabbing Justin and pulling him into the elevator for a kiss. The damned blond was always cute, but he looked more than a little delicious in his powder-blue sweater over dark blue slacks that he now wore, which was far dressier than anything Brian had seen him in before. Brian couldn't help noticing how the shirt highlighted the bright blue of Justin's eyes. They stood staring at each other for several seconds... Justin admiring the way Brian filled out his pin-striped suit... until Tommy pushed past the stalled Justin.

"Hey, you two. Let's go. Time’s a-wasting. We have a party to get to," he declared, clearly not noticing the momentary strain between the actors.

Justin followed on the heels of his roommate, while Brian moved aside to give them both room. Justin and Tommy had moved to the back of the elevator, while Brian remained in front. The actor could feel his ass cheeks clenching, knowing that Justin was directly behind him. He could feel the stress all through his body. Brian was beginning to think that Louis was right. They had become good friends, and the older man had recently suggested that Brian give up and just confess his feelings for Justin, so that they could clear the air. He warned Brian that the tension between them might work well for the kinds of scenes they were doing now, but it might not be so useful in future scenes. After all, the worst that could happen would be Justin telling him to go fuck himself, and that he wasn't his type. But then again, it might also hurt their working relationship, and that was a risk Brian wasn't willing to take.

Instead of making small talk, the three men rode in silence down to the lobby where a large group of other Gripman Production employees were gathered. Cabs began pulling in front of the hotel, as people piled in four and five at a time, giving the name of the hotel where the party was being held. Brian made sure he didn't enter the cab that Justin and Tommy got into. He took the next one, driving away with a couple of techs and a couple of supporting actors, who were staying at his hotel. By the time the cab pulled up to the fancy hotel where the party was being held, Brian had managed to relax again. He had also made up his mind that he was not going to continue to be ruled by his emotions. He was going to enjoy his evening, by avoiding Justin when he could without being conspicuous about it. He would make himself busy with the other actors that he found interesting and enjoyable to spend time with.

It certainly sounded like a great plan. Of course, with all great plans... sometimes Fate had other plans in mind. Such was the case for the two men who would end their evening in a far different way than they ever expected, as they joined their co-workers for a night they would never forget.

To be continued......


	8. May I Have This Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh oh, there seems to be a bit of tension going on during the celebratory party being held for the cast and crew of the new series, Queer Folk and Family. What could it possibly lead to by the end of the night? That's the question

The evening appeared to be a great success. Champagne flowed like water and guests drank their fill. Cocktails were expertly made, then served by skilled employees of the hotel chosen for their venue. Dinner was first class, with no one walking away from the table hungry. Now the music could be heard starting up in the adjoining room, as everyone was ushered there for the dancing portion of the festivities. Brian had sat at a table several rows away from Justin during dinner. It made it a lot easier to concentrate on his meal. He was well aware that the young man would be too much of a distraction if he ended up seated too close to him. 

Once the guests started drifting into the other room, Brian held back so that he wouldn't run into Justin. If the young man noticed Brian's avoidance, he made no indication of it. Every time Brian looked for the blond, which was far more often than he would willingly admit, he saw that Justin was involved in an animated discussion with someone new. It was another thing that Brian admired about Justin... his easy-going way around almost everybody. In the week that they had been working together, Brian was impressed with the way that Justin made so many friends in such a short time. Brian was quite a bit more guarded than Justin, but always friendly enough to make him likable to the other members of their cast and crew. 

When Brian saw that the dinner room was nearly empty, he made his way into the larger ballroom, where bright rainbow lights sparkled down on the dance floor, and dancing rhythms were already in full swing. Brian unconsciously scanned the room for sight of Justin's blond-head but couldn't seem to spot him. He felt that unfamiliar sensation in the pit of his stomach again just thinking of Justin, just like a man who had had the bottom of his stomach drop to the floor suddenly. It happened far too often now and was becoming quite an irritant. Brian mentally shook the feeling away, before moving on to find a group of actors that he enjoyed talking with. Within moments he had joined in on their lively conversation. Justin moved to the back of Brian's mind, at least for a little while. 

Meanwhile, Justin actually had noticed how distant Brian was being with him. He had really hoped that Brian would join him in the cab taking them to the hotel, and felt terribly disappointed when it was clear that wasn't going to happen. He had then hoped to be seated close to the actor for dinner. The unspoken tension between the two men was fast becoming as much of a source of confusion and irritation for Justin, as it was Brian. The difference was that Justin was willing to admit to himself that he wanted to get to know Brian a whole lot better. He, too, didn't think it would be conducive to a great working environment in the future, but that didn't keep him from wishful thinking. 

Actually, Justin had been doing a lot of that lately... fantasizing! If he was totally honest, he hadn't had a single night in a week that wasn't filled with images of Brian, along with the things he knew a sexy man like that could do to and for him. He often woke up with a hard-on that took a bit of time to deflate... more than once with a little five-finger help. He told himself that the real thing could never be as good as his fantasies anyway, so he really wasn't missing anything. It almost helped him deal with his problem. As he mixed with many of the other actors and crew members, he found himself wondering what it would feel like if he could end up dancing in Brian's arms. Well, that was certainly a fantasy, so he refused to dwell on the idea. He hadn't failed to notice that Brian was avoiding him in the ballroom, just as much as he had in the dining room. So much for his fantasies!

It took a long time, and several more glasses of champagne before Brian and Justin finally ended up on the outskirts of the dance floor in the exact same location. They had each been talking to a different group of friends, but their backs were turned to each other. When the ones they were with had drifted off to join other groups, or to take to the dance floor, the two men turned around to see who else was available for conversation. They came face to face for the first time since the elevator ride at the hotel. They stopped dead, finding themselves staring into each other's eyes, hardly aware of a soul around them. For that reason, they didn't notice when their producers approached them. 

"Brian... Justin, are you enjoying your evening?" Bowen asked, startling the couple, pulling them away from their staring match.

Brian quickly recovered, just in time to avoid looking foolish. 

"Uh, yes Sir. I can't remember ever being on a set where the producers did more to show their appreciation for a job well done by their employees."

"Good... good! Then we accomplished our goal. I don't think Dick and I have ever cared more about a project than we do this one. The fact is, Brian... Justin... times are changing and people are slowly beginning to accept LGBTQ folks in a more positive light. Of course, that is often only because our sexuality is kept to a minimum in movies and television. Naturally we appreciate the fact that more and more people are realizing that being gay isn't just about sex, but it is a part of what makes us who we are, and we want to show all sides of our world. You can already tell by what has been filmed for the first episode that we intend to show it all... the positive and the negative side of being a part of this world. This is just the beginning too. If we are lucky enough to get picked up for a full season, and maybe even more, then we will try to cover every aspect of being a member of the LGBTQ community. That's going to take the dedication of all of our people."

Brian and Justin had been listening with rapt attention. The moment Phil stopped to catch his breath, they began nodding their heads in full agreement to what was being said. Bowen and Gripman could see the enthusiasm in their eyes. They knew they had picked the right men for the task ahead of them. Suddenly a light went on in Dick's head. He spoke up.

"I'll tell you what, boys. I've noticed that you two haven't danced even once together. I know that you are really on your own time right now, but you will have some very important dancing scenes at Sodom coming up very soon, and we've never actually seen how you two work together on the dance floor. May I suggest a little practice demonstration for us right now? A couple of dances, and I promise that we'll leave you to your own devices after that. What do you say?"

Brian flinched slightly, and Justin felt a slight shiver run up his spine, but neither man felt he could easily refuse such a reasonable request without appearing ungrateful to their generous employers. Besides, how could they really explain the reticence of either one of them to partake of a couple of simple dances? The last song had just ended and a new one began. It was a fast, hip-swiveling one. Brian put out his hand and offered it to Justin. The young man looked down at the smooth palm with the long, tapering, well-manicured fingers, then put his own smaller hand inside it. Brian led Justin onto the dance floor. 

Justin's training in musical theater, combined with his frequent appearances with friends at musical venues in New York City, became clear the moment he began to fall easily into the rhythm of the dance. Brian, who was far less musically inclined, did his best to keep in time with his younger partner. There was not that much touching... at least not physically... but an emotional connection was definitely showing as the song continued. The couple was not even trying to keep their eyes off each other's faces anymore. Eventually the fast-moving song ended. Brian and Justin were breathing hard, as they stood in the same spot where they had finished their dance. It was only a matter of ten or fifteen seconds that they stood facing each other, but it seemed to go on forever.

Then, suddenly, they realized that a new song had begun. This one was totally different. It was a slow-paced love song, full of emotion. Without thinking twice about it, Brian put out his hand again. Justin also repeated his earlier gesture and took Brian's hand. This time around, Brian put his other hand on Justin's shoulder, and waited for Justin's next move. The young man instinctively placed his hand around Brian's waist, his fingers resting in the middle of the older man's back. The two began to move together in time with the music. A half minute later, Brian slid his hand around the back of Justin's neck, feeling the soft blond hair at the nape of his neck. The gesture brought Justin in closer proximity to Brian's body. They continued to dance. Thirty seconds later they were even closer, one arm wrapped around each other and one hand clasped together. As the song drifted to its end, their bodies had come into total contact.

It took a moment for the couple to come to the realization that the song had ended. Clapping penetrated their brains as they looked around the room. Most of the dancers had stopped, and moved aside to watch the actors who had taken on the roles of passionate lovers on-screen. They would later swear that it looked like the two were making love on the dance floor. Of course they knew it was only acting. The couple also saw the enthusiastic claps coming from the show's producers too. Obviously, folks had decided that the actors were simply demonstrating how they planned to perform the crucial dance moves at the show's notorious Sodom club. Justin blushed when he saw the reaction to their dance. Brian took command of the situation. He raised Justin's hand to his lips and placed a gallant kiss on the top of it. He then raised their joined hands in the air, and took a deep bow to the producers and the crowd. Justin, always mentally quick on his feet, took his cue from Brian and took a deep bow too. The crowd erupted into even louder applause.

The couple then strode off the dance floor together, accepting enthusiastic pats on their backs, as words of praise they received followed them. Once they were finally able to find a spot away from the dance floor, which was devoid of most folks, they stopped to gather their wits about them. Justin was the first to make a comment.

"Well, Brian, I think we gave our audience a decent show. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I agree, but I have to admit... you certainly have better moves on that dance floor than I'm capable of. I think you actually made me look better, thanks to your talent."

Justin tried hard to control the blush he felt coming on with Brian's compliment, but only half succeeded. The slight tinge of pink in his cheeks actually made the young man even more attractive to Brian, although he had no intention of saying so. 

"Well, huh... thanks for the critique. Of course, it doesn't hurt that I've been dancing on stage since I was still in short pants."

"I'm sure you looked adorable in your short pants," Brian blurted out without thinking. 

He would have taken the words back in a heartbeat if he could, especially when he saw the surprise on Justin's face. 

"I wouldn't say that. I was a scrawny kid with pale skin and no body to speak off. Besides, even as a teenager, I looked like a ten year old... hardly conducive to attracting any guy's attention with my looks," Justin shot back quickly, trying to make light of Brian's comment. 

"Well, that's okay. You've filled out just fine since then, and I'm sure there are plenty of guys who find you attractive now."

Was Brian actually flirting with him, or was he just indulging in wishful thinking, Justin had to ask himself when things went suddenly quiet. It was as if neither man knew where to go next on this shaky ground they had accidentally stepped onto. Luckily for both men, they didn't have to delve too deep into their thoughts, because several of the other leading cast-mates appeared beside them and began offering their own comments on the interesting dance the couple had just performed. Once again, the two men found themselves chatting with folks with their backs turned to each other. They never got another chance to be alone for the rest of the evening. Less than an hour later, the party broke up and everyone went home. Again, Justin found himself in a separate cab. As he exited the vehicle when he reached his destination, he decided that it was for the best. The truth was that he knew he had exaggerated Brian's attitude towards him in his own mind. As he entered the elevator to take him to his floor, he felt a bit of a letdown. The image of his slow dance with Brian flashed through his mind, and he wished it had been real, not just acting on Brian's part. He sighed deeply and got off on his floor. The night... the week was over. He would go to bed and decide what to do for his first full weekend in Toronto, after getting up in the morning. No more fantasizing the impossible, he told himself.

**************************************************************

Justin was awakened by the sound of soft knocking on his hotel room door. He glanced over at the nightstand and saw that it was nearly four in the morning. Maybe Tommy had changed his mind about spending the night with the extra that he had met at the party. He had probably forgotten his key, Justin decided. He hated being awakened in the middle of the night, but he couldn't leave his roommate out in the hall, especially if his poor heart had been broken by some guy, or he had had one too many drinks. Justin reluctantly slid out of his bed and groggily stumbled over to the door. He threw it open, fully expecting to see the redhead standing there.

Justin woke up in a hurry when he saw the tall figure of his co-star, Brian, leaning against the frame of the door. The first thing Justin thought was that Brian had perhaps had one drink too many, and lost his way back to his room. The moment Brian spoke, it was clear that this wasn't the case.

"Can I come in?" Brian asked in a tired, yet very clear voice.

Justin had lost his voice, but only hesitated for one second before stepping aside, letting Brian into the dimly lit room. Brian looked around and saw that one of the full-sized beds was still made up and unoccupied.

"Your roommate isn't here?" he asked.

Justin got his voice back. "Tommy hooked up with another actor who lives here in Toronto. He went to his place for the night."

Brian nodded his head. He still wasn't sure why he had made the decision to visit Justin so late in the night. All he knew was that he couldn't get to sleep, no matter how he tried. He couldn't get the image of Justin and their dance together out of his head. Something told him that he had to talk to the young man to clear the air, or they would never be able to work easily together when filming started again on Monday. He had finally summoned up the necessary courage to face things head on and then taken the elevator down to Justin's floor. Now that he saw that the roommate was missing, Brian felt it was Fate. Justin had taken a seat on the edge of his bed, waiting for Brian to explain what he wanted. He didn't have long to wait. Brian walked over to where Justin sat and took a seat next to him. Justin turned to face the older man.

"I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep, Justin, but I wasn't getting any and you are the one to blame." Justin's face showed his surprise. "The truth is, unless I am way off base... and I want you to feel free to tell me if I am... that I feel there is something happening between you and me. It would be easy to put this thing down to simply good acting, but I am beginning to feel that it is a lot more than that. I also feel that if we don't get to the root of it, it is going to eventually affect our work."

Brian paused, hoping for some reaction from the blond. All Justin did was sit, facing Brian, with a slightly stunned look on his face. Brian couldn't read the meaning behind it. His confusion loosened his tongue even more.

"Justin, if you aren't feeling anything more for me except professionalism, I would really appreciate you telling me now, so I can pull back and stop dreaming the impossible and get back to all business. I think we make a great team, and I don't want to ruin that in any way. I'll respect your wishes, no matter what."

Still no reaction from Justin, but he did look like a man who was concentrating hard on his own thoughts. Brian made one more attempt to get a reaction.

"Are you going to let me just ramble on, making a fool of myself, or are you going to put me out of my misery? You don't owe me anything, but I'd really appreciate an answ....mmmfffffff!"

Brian was stopped mid-sentence by a pair of soft, warm lips as they crushed his own. The kiss was over in a split second as Brian pulled away, startled by the sudden movement. The couple sat there, frozen in place. They stared deeply into each other's eyes and all they saw was longing and need. There was nothing one-sided about those looks. They fell into an embrace as their lips met again, but this time with enthusiastic acceptance by both parties. 

The kiss, almost tentative at first, grew in intensity. In many ways it was like their screen kiss, but this was also different. There was a freedom in this kiss that wasn't there while filming. As the heat began to rise between them, the kiss grew harder, wetter, more fervent. Mouths opened and tongues met. Their sensitive upper palates felt silken tongues and shivers ran like quicksilver down their spines. Hands were suddenly all over the place, touching here and darting there. Faces were being caressed as more kisses followed deep gulps of air into parched lungs. Hands drifted down to the bottom of t-shirts, and then inched their way underneath and onto bare flesh. Nipples were reached and stroked until they turned into hard nubs, just begging to be sucked.

The couple finally pulled apart long enough to have shirts pulled over heads, and then they took turns bending over in order to pull first one nipple and then another into their mouths. The room was no longer silent as hands traveled down to the top of Brian's jeans and Justin's briefs. Soft moans accompanied the sound of Brian's zipper being lowered. Brian's hand slipped inside the gap of Justin's underwear and soon both men were kissing hard, as their hands found the prizes they were seeking. Breathing became more labored as cocks were released and stroked with abandonment. It was as if neither man wanted to release the mouth of the other... almost like they feared the whole event would vanish into thin air if they didn't stay connected. Their desire had grown beyond their control, and much too quickly they found themselves releasing their orgasms between their legs. 

After a few far gentler kisses, they fell back onto the bed side by side. No words were spoken for a long time. No words were needed at that point. They lay with one hand clasped between them and waited for their breathing to return to normal. Brian was amazed at how a simple thing like being jerked off could make him feel such great contentment. That had certainly never been the case before. Justin felt the same sense of satisfaction. The only problem was... he wanted more, a lot more. As they lay there, each deep in their own thoughts, Justin wondered if there could be more. Was this going to turn out to be a case of bi-curiosity on Brian's part, or was the sexy man going to want to get to know Justin better... a whole lot better? He dearly hoped so. Oh yes, he most definitely hoped so.

To be continued................................


	9. What Is This Thing Between Us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin's first night together has brought them a lot of pleasure, but what will the morning bring? Will this be a one-night stand, or the beginning of something that neither of them were expecting when they accepted their newest acting roles?

Justin woke to the sound of water running in the bathroom sink. A smile worthy of the nickname, 'Sunshine', broke out on his face. He stretched his legs out, feeling the slight tenderness where Brian had given them, and so many other parts of his body, a thorough workout just hours earlier. His smile widened. Memories of the night came rushing back, and Justin reveled in every one of them. 

He remembered lying sideways on his bed next to Brian, right after they had given each other a hand job that had left them both completely sated... at least for the moment. He also remembered wanting more, and wondering if there was a possibility he'd have his wish fulfilled. He really didn't know that much about his co-star, so there was always the possibility that Brian was only interested in a bit of fun, or for that matter a simple experiment to see what having sex with a man was really all about. Justin couldn't be sure. All Brian had confessed to him was that he felt there was something going on between them. He hadn't said what he thought it was.

Justin would have continued to stew in his concerns if Brian hadn't settled the question with a simple gesture. He suddenly turned on his side and rose up, hovering over Justin with a smile that appeared out of nowhere. He lowered his mouth to Justin's and kissed the young man with such tenderness that Justin felt a great sense of peace wash over him. There was something special in that kiss. It was an affirmation that there was more than a casual feeling running through Brian's heart. Justin kissed his new lover with the same tenderness. It seemed ages before they separated. As Brian pulled back from the kiss, he finally spoke his mind.

"I was right! I don't know how to describe this thing between us, Justin, but I knew it would feel right with you."

"And did it?" came Justin's quiet reply.

"Nothing has felt more right. And if you invite me to stay, I will."

"I want you to stay," Justin assured him.

Brian got off the bed and slipped his jeans down his legs. He went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth. He returned to Justin and cleansed the spots where his orgasm had landed. He did the same for himself. Justin settled back into the sheets on the full-sized bed and Brian joined him. Justin turned on his side while Brian scooted behind him, spooning the smaller man. Brian placed his arm over Justin. Justin gathered it to his chest and the two men drifted off to sleep. 

Barely an hour had passed when Justin woke to the feeling of warm breath on his neck. The room was still shrouded in darkness with only a sliver of light from outside showing through the curtains at the window. Justin remained perfectly still, not sure what was coming next. He didn't have long to wait. Brian had awakened several minutes earlier, feeling Justin's delectable body ensconced safely within his arms. He pulled his right arm free from under Justin's neck, and rose up so that he could look down at the sleeping form in front of him. There was just enough light for him to make out the beautiful man he had been cradling. Brian sighed deeply. The sight of Justin's naked back was enticing. It was too much to ignore. 

Brian let the fingers of his left hand play softly down Justin's arm, then around the contours of his back. His hand moved around to Justin's front, where he rested his palm on the muscles of Justin's stomach, feeling the muscles twitch slightly at the touch. Justin's even breathing told him that the young man wasn't quite awake yet, so Brian inched closer so that he could place his lips on Justin's neck. He placed several gentle kisses there. He pulled away quickly as the young man stirred. Brian felt as though Justin had finally awakened, as he began to hunger for more than soft kisses in the night. He moved back just enough so that he could turn Justin onto his back. The blond gave no resistance.

Brian thought about saying something to Justin, but he was now looming over the slight figure of the young man. and those delectable lips were too close to ignore. Brian chose to kiss Justin rather than speak. It was a move that Justin obviously approved of as he responded wholeheartedly. What began as short pecks, rapidly turned into full-blown sensual kisses that heated the air all around them. Tongues darted between swollen lips. Soon the kisses were developing into an oral exploration of all parts of their anatomy. They took turns bringing little nuances of pleasure to each other from every part of the body they visited. By the time they were back to sharing kisses on the mouth again, they had developed hard-ons worthy of a skilled porn star. Brian decided in that moment that he would give Justin a blow-job he would never forget, then he heard the young man whisper in his mouth.

"I want you to fuck me, Brian, but only if you want to. I have condoms in the drawer."

Brian couldn't believe his luck. He had wanted to possess Justin's body for some time, but he didn't want to rush him. Everyone knew that Justin was openly gay, but that didn't tell anyone what kind of experience he had, or what he would welcome from a lover. Brian had been fucking men for years, so he already knew that it was a part of sex that he enjoyed, but that didn't mean Justin would feel the same. Now, here he was with an open invitation to give and receive the one thing he desired most of all.

"Are you sure?" Brian whispered back.

Justin wriggled free enough to reach for the side table next to the bed. He opened the drawer and searched inside, until his fingers felt the crinkly wrapping of his brand of condoms. He pulled one out and handed it to Brian. His hand shot back inside the drawer, this time coming out with a small tube of lube. Brian smiled down at Justin.

"You come prepared, young man."

"My dad was a Scout leader. I learned to always be prepared. I have plenty of them, since I haven't needed to use any for a long time now."

Justin wasn't sure why he added that last part, but he sensed that it was because he wanted Brian to know that he didn't sleep around with a bunch of guys all the time. 

"Good to know," Brian responded, apparently liking what he heard. "Maybe we can put them to good use in the future."

Justin liked the sound of that, but there was no more time for talking. Brian had ripped open the package with his teeth, and was now straddling Justin's torso, with his engorged cock resting on Justin's belly. 

"Put it on me," was the last thing Brian said before getting down to business. 

Justin extracted the condom from the packaging before tossing it to the side. He lifted the hefty weight of Brian's manhood with one hand, then applied the condom to the tip. He slowly rolled it down until the entire length was safely covered. Brian clicked open the lube, then slathered it down the condom. When this job was done, Brian scooted back enough for Justin's legs to be freed. Brian lifted them up, placing them on his shoulders. Brian suddenly stopped what he was doing.

"Do you have a preference in positions, Justin? If not, I really want to see your face while I fuck you. Do you have any objections?" 

Justin was shaking with anticipation. He wouldn't... couldn't have refused Brian anything, but somehow this was a request he was more than happy to agree to. He also wanted to see Brian's face, especially as his lover reached his climax. He wanted to know that the look on Brian's face at that moment was because of him. He nodded agreement enthusiastically. It was all Brian needed to know. He returned to what he was doing before the pause. 

Brian had placed lube on the fingers of one hand. He ran one hand down the silken pale hair on Justin’s leg, as he slowly inserted a single lubed digit inside the young man. Justin caught his breath at the invasion, but it didn't take long for his sphincter muscle to relax, welcoming the invasion inside. Brian worked his finger until he felt assured that Justin was ready for more. He slowly slipped in a second digit, then a third. Justin's entire body was now quivering, longing for more. When Brian was certain Justin was fully prepared, he removed his fingers and placed his cock at the spasming hole he had just deserted. Brian looked down into Justin's face, seeing a slight sheen of sweat forming. He slipped his cock forward, feeling a tiny amount of resistance. It didn't last long. Moments later, he felt himself sliding farther in as the muscles totally relaxed. 

Once Brian was seated to his full extent, he began to rock his body back and forth. Justin's hips rose off the bed, in order to engage deeper with each magical thrust and retreat. Whether it was because of the previous hand job or their experience, both men were able to hold back their orgasms, as they rode one wave of pleasure after another. Brian punctuated many of his thrusts with deep kisses, which only heightened Justin's pleasure. The room became filled with the sound of flesh slapping together, along with ragged breathing as their ecstasy mounted to a crescendo. Both men could feel what was rapidly coming. Justin was the first to achieve his orgasm. Brian thought he had never seen anything more beautiful than Justin’s eyes brightening with unshed tears and total contentment, as his skin shone with the sweat of his labors. It was enough to send Brian over the edge too. Justin enjoyed what he saw in Brian's face every bit as much.

Brian fell to the side, yet refused to release Justin. He pulled the young man on top of him, even as his deflated cock popped from its warm harbor, and Brian removed the sheath. They kissed repeatedly until Justin laid his head down on Brian's chest. Seconds later, they were sound asleep again. Now, several hours later, Justin woke up to find light flooding the hotel room, and his bed empty. He wasn't concerned, because he could clearly hear activity in his bathroom. He could hardly wait for Brian to emerge, so he could tell him how much he loved what had happened between them. As he laid there thinking of how he would express himself to Brian, he was suddenly faced with bitter disappointment. When the door opened, it was roommate, Tommy who stepped out. 

"Well now, you finally woke up. You were dead to the world when I got back a half hour ago. That party last night must have worn you out," Tommy told the blond. "I'd love to stop and chat with you about all the fun, but Eddie... that's the cute guy I met last night... is expecting me back at his place ASAP. We've got plans for the weekend. I just came back to get some clothes. I'm afraid you're on your own until tomorrow night at the earliest. Eddie knows all the best places to have a good time in Toronto. If you want, I could ask him if you could join us at some of the places we visit," Tommy continued on.

Justin shook his head. "That's okay, Tommy. I think I'll take it easy this first weekend here. This next week of filming is going to be intense, and I should probably get a lot of studying done with the script. Besides, it sounds like this Eddie fella may be more than just a friend, and I wouldn't want to intrude on your 'getting to know you' time."

Tommy blushed and patted Justin on the back. "Well, just let me know if you change your mind. You have my cell number." 

Tommy gathered the small overnight bag next to the front door, and gave Justin a big smile as he walked out of the door, barely glancing back. Justin was happy for his roommate, but he felt totally dejected. What had happened to Brian? Obviously he had left before Tommy got back, or the kid wouldn't have been able to contain himself, and would have asked a dozen questions. Had he misjudged what had happened between him and Brian? Was he just a one-night stand after all, or even worse... an experiment to see what making love to a man felt like? If that was the case, Justin wasn't so sure he was a good enough actor to carry on with Brian as his co-star any further. Would he end up losing the man and his job at the same time? Justin had to know. Brian couldn't just leave and not explain himself at all.

**********************************************************************

Brian finished his shower and smiled broadly at his reflection in the steamy mirror. He felt refreshed and totally relaxed. When he had left his room last night, he had been walking into unknown territory. He truly had no idea how Justin would react to his confession about his feelings for the young man. Brian's face softened with memories of how Justin did react. It had been more than Brian had hoped for. He already knew that he was attracted to Justin, but last night revealed that it was more than a mere attraction. Brian couldn't put a name to his feelings because they were far too foreign for him. He had not experienced anything like it in his life. Brian had not had a serious relationship with anyone up to this point in his life, and he had accepted the fact that he probably never would. He had used the excuse that he didn't have time for such things, but deep down he knew he was simply afraid of being hurt, if he opened his heart too wide. 

For reasons he himself was unsure of, Brian now felt like it was time to take a chance on someone. He wasn't quite sure where a relationship with Justin would lead, but one thing he was sure of was that he wanted to explore the possibilities. He was also positively certain that one night with Justin wasn't going to be enough. If Justin was willing to give it a try, Brian knew he wanted to see where this thing between them might lead. But first they needed to have a serious talk about the ramifications of an off-screen relationship. For Brian, this job was too important to risk losing and he suspected it was the same for Justin. Brian had enough experience to recognize that this job had the potential of making his career. He hadn't dropped everything and come to Canada to find romance. He had come here to advance his career and make a name for himself. It was probably the same for Justin. And it wasn't just the two of them that would be affected if things went wrong. Actors and actresses that Brian had come to admire and respect were also counting on this show to build their careers. An affair between two of their leads might have far-reaching consequences.

As Brian mulled over this unexpected turn of events, while looking through his wardrobe for the right outfit to wear, he heard a light tapping on his door. He tucked in the towel around his waist more securely and went to the door. He opened it, finding Justin standing there in sweat-pants and a t-shirt. Brian started to smile until he noticed the look on Justin's face. It wasn't the usual sunshiny smile he had become accustomed to seeing. 

"May I come in?" Justin asked, repeating Brian's request from the night before.

"Of course," Brian answered, stepping aside to give Justin entry. "I was about to get dressed and come back down to your room. I think we need to talk."

Justin's face softened a little when he heard that Brian was planning on returning. A frown returned quickly with the comment about the need to have a talk. Was that the prelude to a kiss-off? Justin now knew what it felt like to be made love to by Brian. All that showed him was that one time was not going to be enough. Brian ushered Justin over to the easy chair near the desk. He then took a seat on the bed. Justin tried to control his nerves. He steeled himself for whatever Brian was about to say. His mind swirled with various answers he would give to rebuff any arguments Brian might come up with to end this thing, before it got out of control. He was ready... he hoped.

To be continued....................


	10. Making Decisions About An Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a serious discussion about the future relationship Brian and Justin want to have, along with the reasons behind their choices.

Justin sat in a chair, directly in front of a nearly naked Brian, and tried hard to avoid looking nervous. The truth was that he was more than a little apprehensive. He had come to Brian's room this morning to confront him about leaving his hotel room without a single word. They had shared a night of passion unlike any Justin had experienced before. If he was nothing more than a one-night stand, Justin wanted to hear it from the man himself. Brian had used certain words before they got carried away that made it sound like something special was happening between them. Justin had expected to wake up in Brian's arms in the morning, have a bit more fun perhaps, then get down to some serious talk about the two of them. Instead, he had awakened to the empty bed. He wasted no time in taking the elevator up to Brian's floor. The man seemed happy to see him, but Justin already knew what a talented actor Brian was. He waited for Brian to speak, praying that last night hadn't all been an act.

"I want to tell you a story, Justin," Brian began. "I want to tell you about a kid who grew up in a household full of unhappy people, who had no problem visiting their misery on their children. To escape his miserable existence, this kid would fantasize he was someone else, living a whole different life in a completely different world. As you can no doubt guess, that need to escape led to an adult career as an actor."

Justin pointed at Brian's bare chest.

"Yes, that kid was me. And somehow I managed to make a living from the very thing that saved my sanity, growing up in that hateful house. As you can imagine, acting not only became my refuge, but it also became my addiction. I let everything else in my life take a back seat to my career. Every choice I've made... every aspect of my life has been geared to becoming a success as an actor, because I knew that it was the one way to open as many doors as possible to parts that I wanted to play. You're younger than me, but you've been in the business as long as I have, so you know what I'm talking about. I have to become a big fat fucking success. My family told me from the time I was old enough to understand what they meant, that I would always be a failure... that I would never be good enough at anything I went after. All they wanted was for me to feel like I was as big a failure in life as they were."

"The reason I'm telling you all this is because I want you to understand why I say and do certain things... things that you may not agree with since you are openly gay, even in the business. This is important, Justin, because I'm telling you right now that I have never cared one iota whether or not anyone understood me before now. However, for reasons I still haven't figured out, it is important to me that you do. There is one thing that I have figured out, and that is the fact that I am more than a little attracted to you, and I don't want last night to be just a pleasant memory. For the first time in my life, I want to explore where these feelings might lead us. There is only one problem."

"And what is that?" Justin asked, letting out the breath he had been holding when Brian started talking about his feelings for him. 

"The problem is that I honestly don't think we should be open about our relationship. That is, of course, only if you want a relationship too."

Brian stared straight at Justin and waited for a response.

"I... ahhhh... I... well yes, I'd like to see where we are headed with this thing that has happened between us. You're not the only one to be surprised by your feelings, Brian. I had just gotten out of a relationship that was totally unsatisfying before coming here, and I was certainly not looking for a new one. I'm not even sure if I'm cut out for film acting. I'm a stage actor. That’s where I'm most comfortable. I only tried out for the part of Reece because it was so unique, and I had the sense that this entire show might end up being revolutionary. I loved the idea of getting in on the ground floor of something historic. Now that we have the first episode wrapped, I feel even more positive about my decision."

"What I'm getting at, Brian, is that I agree with you. I don't know if it is for the same reasons that you have in mind, but I think we should keep our private life very private... and very separate from our work. If there is even the slightest chance of our off-work activities causing trouble during the shoots, or for the show itself, then we shouldn't risk it. What I want to know is, does this mean that we can have a relationship that is a bit more than platonic? Because if that is what you want, you have my whole-hearted support."

Brian let himself relax fully for the first time since opening the door to Justin. He smiled broadly and got up from the bed, in order to stand in front of the blond. 

"I think we have already passed the point of platonic friendship, Justin. Don't you?"

Brian hooked his fingers in the folds of the large towel wrapped around his waist. His crotch was literally eye level with the seated Justin. He smiled wickedly down at Justin, an invitation clearly evident in his look. It didn't take a genius to figure out Brian's unspoken suggestion. Justin had gotten the answers he was seeking when he came upstairs to Brian's room. Brian wanted the same thing as he did. Justin didn't really have a problem keeping the whole thing 'on the QT'. There was actually something decadently delicious about the notion of playing Brian's lover on set, and actually being his lover at home. It would mean keeping it secret from an awful lot of very perceptive people, but hopefully the two of them would be worthy of the challenge. 

In the meantime, before they discussed any more about how they would manage to fool everyone into thinking they were just good friends and co-workers, they might as well get a little practice in on the private aspects of their affair. They had all weekend to work out some of those details. Justin placed his hands on top of Brian's and gently moved them away. He then took hold of the end of the towel at Brian's waist and released it from its tuck. The fluffy material slipped down Brian's hips and fell to the floor in a puddle. Brian stood there with all his masculine glory, now exposed to Justin's gaze. It was a sight that sent heated flashes coursing through the actor's veins. His pale skin took on a flushed tone. 

Justin gathered up the long, thick cock that lay so proudly against the full sac between Brian's legs. He felt the satisfying weight of it, as it began to swell with anticipation inside his cupped hands. Justin marveled at how readily Brian became prepared for action. He liked to think that it was because he was the one holding on to Brian's manhood, and not just something Brian would do for anyone. Brian stared down at Justin. When the young man looked up at him, he saw something in Brian's eyes that told him his thought was true. There was something more than simple lust in Brian's eyes. 

Justin let go of the hardening cock for the moment, placing his palms against Brian's flat belly. He made slow circles along the skin, relishing the feel of Brian under his fingertips. His hands began moving up along the rib cage, until his fingers came in contact with Brian's nipples. Justin tweaked each one, while never taking his eyes off his lover's face. Brian sucked in a quick breath and closed his eyes, throwing his head back. Justin moved forward, placing his lips over Brian's navel. His tongue flicked out, swirling inside the shallow cavity. Brian's head jerked forward again, as he looked down on Justin's blond head. He ran his hands through the pale hair, and thought of how it reminded him of fine silk. 

Justin continued to manipulate Brian's nipples until they were both as hard as pebbles. He was sucking hard on Brian's navel when he realized that the man's cock was poking him. Justin pulled back, then lowered his head so that his mouth could engulf the tempting treat. His hands wrapped around Brian's narrow hips. Each hand grabbed a handful of Brian's rounded ass. He pulled the man forward so that he could swallow Brian to the hilt. His tongue traced a damp trail along the underside of the now fully engorged cock. Justin began moving the beautiful flesh in and out of his mouth. This went on for some time as Brian felt himself growing more and more excited. Suddenly he reached down and grabbed Justin by the shoulders in order to pull away from the younger man. 

"If you don't stop now, I won't be good for anything else for a while," he gasped. "And I definitely have something else in mind."

"And what, may I ask, do you have in mind?" Justin inquired, clearly disappointed at the interruption.

"Better that I show you, than to try and explain it. After all, I am an actor and you know that they say action speaks louder than words. I'm told I am very good in action scenes," Brian declared, a hint of bravado in his tone.

"This had better be good. I was really enjoying myself, you know," Justin laughed.

Brian wasted no time in giving Justin a very clear picture of what he had in mind. It took him no time at all to remove every stitch of clothing Justin had thrown on before coming for his visit. The moment Justin was as naked as the day he was born, Brian pushed him down onto the bed, then flipped the young man onto his stomach. He dove down between Justin's spread legs, proceeding to rim the blond until he was almost delirious with need. Brian stopped just long enough to cover his throbbing dick with a condom and lube, and position Justin on his knees. Brian then carefully began making love to Justin, covering his body completely, while placing kiss after kiss along his back and neck. Their connection caused an unbridled euphoria in both men, as they each rose to the peak of desire at their own pace. First one, then the other, fell over the mountain of pleasure they were climbing together. They then collapsed onto the bed side by side.

Neither man had gotten much rest the night before, so they found themselves drifting off to sleep, while still embracing in the afterglow of sexual fulfillment. It was several hours later that they woke to find themselves tangled up in the sheets, still sticky from their earlier exertions. A quick shower inside the comfortably sized tub in the bathroom, readied them to discuss more details of how they would deal with their agreed upon secret liaisons. They decided that for now they would take it day by day... at least until they knew whether the cable network would pick up the series for an extended period of time. If it was picked up, Brian stated that he would no longer stay in the hotel. He would rent a place of his own so that they could have more privacy. Justin agreed that this sounded like the best move. 

The show was only guaranteed for six episodes at the moment, and filming would be completed on those in less than two months. Then there would no doubt be a lot of promotional work expected from the actors. That meant traveling a lot, so making any firmer plans might be a waste of time. It wouldn't look suspicious if the couple spent time together when not working, especially if they also spent time with many of their other fellow cast members. They had quickly learned to appreciate their co-stars. They found every one of them to be likable, and very interesting to be around. Spending more time with them was not going to be a chore.

Of course, now they only needed to discover how well they would be able to work together on-screen... especially now that the dynamics between them had changed so drastically. In many ways they looked forward to Monday morning, but they also felt a tiny sense of uncertainty. If their affair affected their work, they both knew it would have to end long before they wanted it to. It was simply one of the things they both agreed upon completely... their work had to come first. In the meantime, they had this first weekend to explore each other, as well as learn as much as they could about one another. Monday would come soon enough.

To be continued......................


	11. Another Week On the Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a little peek into how things are going with work on the two-part premier episodes of the brand new cable series, Queer Folk & Family. And just how are things working out for the secret couple, Brian and Justin, as they try to keep their true relationship on the Q.T. while still getting their jobs done?

Another exhausting week was almost over, and one couple was more than happy to see the weekend arriving. In some ways Brian and Justin were relieved that they had acted together in only one scene so far for the second episode, and only had one more scene to go. They had spent Monday through Thursday filming scenes with many of their other co-stars. Justin really enjoyed working with Daphne Chanders, who played his best friend, Maya Smith. She was a native of Toronto who had promised to give him the scoop on all the best places to visit while in the city. They had fallen into an easy friendship on their first day of shooting. Justin was grateful, suspecting they might have a lot of scenes together later in the series, based on what they had already done. He also felt comfortable in his opening scene with the woman who was playing his mother, Sherry Hartley. Her name was Jennifer Taylor. The two joked about how they could be related, since they carried the same last name and looked very similar, despite the fact that it was actually a very common surname. 

Although Justin enjoyed his time with the female co-stars, he was far happier when he got the chance to act with Brian again, although they had to be on their guard to avoid being too familiar with each other. The couple had no worries that any sexual tension between them might give their secret away, since they had no physical connections made in the second episode. That didn't keep Justin from feeling a thrill when he saw Brian on the set of Hardy's, the fictional neighborhood gay bar. Luckily, Justin's character was required to look at Brian's character with an almost worshipful gaze. It fit in quite nicely with how the actor was really feeling every time he saw Brian's face. There was nothing suspicious about that. Justin also enjoyed getting to know the other men who had important roles in the show. 

Once Friday arrived, Brian and Justin were well prepared for the last scene they would share for this second half of the Pilot Episode. It would be an emotional one. Brian's character, Gabriel was about to set the record straight with the teenaged, Reece, who he previously had what he considered to be a one-night stand. He was going to be quite blunt, breaking Reece's heart in the process. The two actors had spent the last few evenings rehearsing their scene repeatedly, until they had it nailed to perfection. It had also given them a plausible excuse to spend more time together while off-set at the studio. Whenever they were caught with their heads together, they made sure that the watchers could hear them rehearsing their scene. To most folks, they simply seemed like very dedicated actors, determined to put in their best performances possible. Only a couple of people saw that something more might be going on, one being veteran cameraman, Louis. He was willing to stake his reputation on his theory, which was that Justin was now reacting to Brian the same way he had seen Brian reacting to Justin earlier. Of course, he was savvy enough to know it was best to keep his thoughts to himself.

Filming went smoothly on the last day while shooting Episode Two. New locations were used, including the Freedom Diner where Susan's character, Debbie worked. They were told it would be one of the most frequently used sets. Justin was thrilled to work with such an established talent like Susan. He had always appreciated the experience of veteran performers. Justin, who was usually so well prepared for every scene, found himself almost star-struck as he watched the easy way that Susan delivered her lines, most of which were wise-cracking one-liners. But fortunately, he was able to gather his thoughts in time to perform without stumbling. The very last scene for Justin that day was on the set of Gabe's loft, and in the street in front of it. Often scenes were not shot in sequence. However, the producers preferred ending the week with the final shot from an episode. In theory, it would help the actors to carry those feelings over into their next week's work.

The bit actor, who had been cast as another of Brian's one-time tricks, was standing by as Justin entered from outside the set of Gabriel's loft. He saw Brian set up for the interior shot, sitting at a computer. Cameras rolled, as the shot of him measuring something onscreen was completed. The director yelled ‘cut’ and Brian stood up. He spotted Justin through a tangle of cameras and people and hurried over. He stopped in front of the young man, holding himself back from giving him a big hug. Instead, he wrapped an arm around his shoulder, before loudly asking a question that all could hear.

"So, kiddo, you ready for this tearjerker coming up? I'm going to have to be a bit rough on you." 

Under his breath, Brian said, "I'll do my best to make it up to you this weekend." 

Brian smiled innocently, causing a slight tingling in Justin's groin. By now, he was perfectly aware of how Brian could make things up to him. The fact that it was only acting, as Gabe broke young Reece's heart, had nothing to do with how hard Brian would work at keeping his promise. Justin quickly recovered his composure and walked onto the set, Brian still holding loosely onto his shoulder in a brotherly way. The two walked over to the director, who was giving instructions on setting up for the next scene, which would include Brian, Justin, and the bit actor together. By this time the other actor had joined them. The director pointed out what he expected from all three of them, emphasizing that he wanted Gabriel to be at his most irritated by Reece interrupting his moment with Mr. Goodfuck, the trick's name, whom he'd met online just an hour before. He reminded them of how the scene had been blocked and rehearsed earlier on. The set was declared ready to begin by the head stagehand. Justin took his place behind the loft door, with Brian in front of his mirror, and the third actor off out of sight, down the partial stairs leading to the loft. 

The Director yelled ‘action’ and Gabriel spoke to himself in the mirror, admiring his looks. The door buzzer went off in the room and Gabe answered it. As he slid his loft door open, he came face to face with Reece. The irritation was unmistakable on his pinched face. He sharply rebuked the blond for showing up unannounced, and showed him little mercy when Reece began pleading to just let him talk. Gabe gave an unequivocal ‘NO’ just as Mr. Goodfuck came up the stairs. The scene went perfectly, as the actor passed by Gabe with a look that said everything about why he was there. The look on Reece's face screamed disgust, but he was still willing to beg for Gabe's attention. Of course, he was rebuffed, and none too kindly, sending the young man down the stairs with obvious pain in his eyes. The scene continued, as Mr. Goodfuck appealed to Gabe's conscience over the way he had dismissed the kid. The Director yelled ‘cut’, as Gabe turned to follow Reece down the stairs, but not before admonishing Mr. Goodfuck to behave himself until he returned.

One last scene was to be shot in the loft, when Gabe returned there after confronting Reece in the street, before they closed that set for the week. It was to mirror an identical scene in the British version of the show, but neither of the Producers liked the vibe it put out as they watched from the sidelines. It didn't seem right for the characteristics of the Gabriel they wanted to portray, but they would decide later whether to leave it on the cutting room floor, or not. Most of the actors had left for the day, but Brian and Justin had just one more shot that needed to be completed. It was a night-time scene in front of the loft, which would end the episode. The scene only involved the two actors. They had rehearsed it many times over, and it showed in the way that the character of Gabe spoke to Reece, as he explained how he had no intention of getting involved with anyone as a boyfriend. The camera caught the crushed look on Reece’s face. Looking at the pain displayed in Justin’s eyes, and the way his tears formed, was very convincing, avoiding the need for a second take. Reece entered his car and drove off-camera. The cameras then panned over to Gabe, staring after the car with a strange look on his face, almost of guilt, before he turned and walked from the street, back to the door of his apartment building. The Director yelled cut. The week’s shooting schedule was complete.

Scripts had already been distributed to cast members for the following week, with clear instructions on what would be shot, and when and where. The completion of Episode Three would be the half-way mark for the filming, which had already been approved by the network. It was anybody's guess whether they would get an extension for more episodes for the season. A lot would depend on how the cable network execs reacted to the Pilot Episodes, which consisted entirely of the work they had just completed... work that one and all felt quite proud of. 

Brian shook hands with the Director, then stopped to say a few words to Louis, the cameraman, before heading for his dressing room. He was eager to get changed and start the weekend off in the right way. In this case, that meant finding Justin, then deciding where they would have dinner. They had gotten into the habit of having dinner together every night at small out-of-the-way restaurants they had heard about from the cast and crew, who were native to the region. They knew if anyone they worked with saw them at one of these places, it wouldn't seem strange for two actors who worked so closely in scenes to be seen, having a meal together. But they had chosen not to frequent the same place twice; less chance of running into the same people too often. 

Brian and Justin had dressing rooms right across the narrow hall from each other. They weren't that large… more like walk-in closets with a very small sofa, a chair, and a table with a large mirror on the wall to distinguish it from an actual closet. The budget for the show didn't afford one of the higher-class dressing rooms at the huge studio complex. At least, not until or unless the show proved to be a hit. Brian had just removed his Gabriel clothing, and placed it on the wardrobe ladies’ hangers, when he heard a soft knock on his door. He threw on his robe and called out for his visitor to enter. Justin stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, turning the lock as he did. 

"If someone comes by to visit me, they're bound to wonder why the door is locked with just the two of us in here," Brian pointed out.

"Then I think it would be a good idea if we turn out the lights, and pretend no one is in here," Justin quipped. 

He shot Brian his best seductive look, which the older man found quite appealing. Brian sauntered up to Justin, still standing in front of the door, and reached behind his head. He flipped the light switch, turning the room too dark to see clearly. There were no windows in the room so there was literally no way to make out anything for several minutes, until their eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Justin felt Brian's arms wrap themselves around his back, and the tug of the actor drawing his body close. Next, he felt Brian's warm breath on his neck.

"I thought we were going to keep our personal lives away from the studio," Brian whispered huskily into Justin's ear.

"Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men," Justin answered back. "Besides, we're off the clock now, so technically we're not at work any longer."

"Hmmmm...."

Justin suddenly planted a hard kiss on Brian's lips, seeming to have inborn radar for his target. If Brian had any more comebacks, they were drowned out in the rising heat that suddenly overcame all rational thoughts. Brian held tight to Justin, as he began scooting backwards towards the place where he knew his sofa stood. The couple's lips never parted as their mouths opened to welcome searching tongues. Even if there was a chance that someone could discover their secret now, they couldn't have stopped the runaway train their bodies had become. The dark only made every one of their senses more in tune to what was happening. Brian knew he had never felt anything more erotic than Justin's slender body under his fingertips.

It didn't take any time at all for Brian to slip out of his robe and remove his underwear. It gave him plenty of time to help Justin out of his civilian clothes too. In seconds, the couple was stripped bare and feeling every inch they could of one another. Brian fell back onto the sofa, carrying Justin down with him. Justin was perched on Brian's knees, his legs straddling both sides of Brian's muscular thighs. Justin could feel Brian's hardened cock as it clashed with his own impressive length. The room was silent, outside of the labored breathing coming from both men, and the sound of skin slapping against skin. The deep kisses, combined with the electricity generated every time their cocks rubbed together, was rapidly bringing the couple to the point of no return. 

It was then that Justin pulled back and whispered, "I want you inside me, Brian. I have condoms in my pocket."

"That's what I love about you, Justin. You're like a boy scout... you always come prepared. Can you find the packet in the dark?" Brian whispered back. 

"I'll be right back. Don't move a muscle," Justin ordered, slipping off Brian's lap. He re-traced his steps as best he could in the dark until he felt his pants on the floor. He reached down and quickly located the necessary item. Clutching the foil package tightly, he turned and re-traced his steps back to where Brian sat, waiting. Justin stopped when he felt Brian's toes with his feet. He crouched down, using Brian's knees for support. He silently ordered Brian to spread his legs by wedging his hands between them. Justin crawled into the gap between those sinewy legs, and zeroed in immediately to his waiting prize. 

Brian hadn't deflated by any degree while waiting for Justin to return. If anything, the anticipation of what was coming kept him hot and ready. Justin lowered his head and began licking up the inner thigh of one leg. Just as he got to Brian's groin, he stopped and moved back down to the other thigh. He licked his way up that one too, so as not to show any favoritism. Justin heard Brian beginning to let out little grunts of frustration. He wanted those lips firmly planted on his manhood. Enough teasing, Brian thought to himself. As if reading his thoughts, Justin left the inner thigh and went straight for the brass ring. He suckled, for just a few seconds, on the already moistened tip of Brian's shaft and then swallowed it whole. Brian jerked as if he'd been hit by a thousand volts of electricity. Justin sucked hard, using his tongue to torture the sensitive underside of Brian's member. Brian reached a point where he had to stop Justin. He lurched forward, tapping the blond desperately on his silky-soft head. 

"If you don't stop what you're doing right now, you can forget riding my cock for a while," Brian huffed out.

Brian couldn't see the grin that spread across Justin's face, but he sensed it.

"You little devil! You have got one second to slip it on me and come aboard, or I'm going to leave you hanging. That'll teach you to torment your elders!"

Justin needed no further incentive. He opened the packet with his teeth and slipped the condom onto Brian's hard-on. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and lubed up his waiting hole. Moments later, Justin had placed himself perfectly, then lowered himself slowly until he was firmly seated onto Brian. He could feel the throbbing that was coming from within his own gut and down into his groin. Justin knew exactly how to move on Brian, in order to hit that sweet spot that gay men had known about for ages. Each jolt brought a strangled, muffled cry from the young man as he rode harder and harder. Each thrust of Brian's pelvis was accompanied by more kisses and nips on bare flesh. 

Brian was already so worked up that it took superhuman mind control for him to contain his release as long as he did. He only let himself go when he felt Justin letting go of his own release. Justin fell forward, still embedded by his lover, and wrapped his arms around Brian's shoulders. Their kiss this time was tender and sweet, with no urgency involved. Brian didn't try to pull out. He loved the feel of Justin surrounding him. Brian had certainly had his cock inside a nice, firm ass before, but not one that came even close to feeling as good, or right as Justin’s. Connecting with Justin had the feel of reality and stability to him, something Brian had never experienced before. Whatever name he cared to give this thing with Justin, Brian knew it was what he wanted. As long as Justin wanted it too, he'd do his best to keep it. 

Eventually the couple had to separate. The sound of Justin's stomach growling brought a laugh, and reminded them that they had to think of dinner. Justin slid off Brian and felt his way to the light switch on the wall. The room was suddenly flooded with light, causing them to blink hard to adjust to it. They could see their clothing scattered all over the floor. Brian went to his table and pulled out a Wet-One’s wipe from its box. He wiped off Justin's release from his chest and belly, then did the same for his lover. He removed the condom, tied it off, and discarded it after wrapping it in several tissues first, so that there wouldn't be any visible evidence of their shenanigans for the clean-up crew to notice. That is, as long as they weren't looking for it. Brian hung up his robe, dressed in his civilian clothes quickly, while Justin re-dressed himself. A last passionate kiss between the lovers, and the lock was released. They opened the door carefully. Peeking out, they saw no one around. They had gotten away with their escapade right under the noses of their company. Of course, they promised each other, they would try their best not to get so carried away again while still at work. It was a promise they truly meant to keep... at the time.

To be continued...................


	12. The Big Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two-part pilot episodes are in the can, ready for the cable networks executives and test audience to judge. Will the episodes prove to be good enough to earn the production of Queer Folk and Family an extended contract for a full season, or will this be the end of the series before it even gets off the ground?

It was as silent as the study room of a library, except for an occasional gasp or embarrassed laugh heard through the speakers, mounted on the wall. At least a dozen men and women sat at a long conference table facing the wall-to-wall window, looking out on the small screening room, where a hundred people sat with eyes glued to the screen in front of them. These were just one of the groups of people, who had been hand-picked to be a test audience for a brand-new show, which the number two American cable network planned on their schedule in a couple of months. There were two parts to the pilot episode that had already been filmed, and the execs were now considering whether they had made a good deal or bad, when giving the green light to a short version of the series. The audience’s reactions would gauge that decision.

The last few minutes of the pilot episodes were coming up, and the execs were curious to see if the test audience would react the same way that they themselves had done so earlier. To a person, they had been speechless during their private showing. They had instructed the Producers of the show to hold back very little, because the top man at their Network had made it clear to them that he wanted to take over the number one spot in cable television ratings, and he was willing to live up to their new advertising motto... 'No Boundaries' ...to do it. But the reality was that they hadn't expected the Producers to go as far as they did. The new show turned out to be avidly raunchy, bold, daring, and in-your-face sexual. But at the same time, they recognized that it was far from pornography, because it wasn't just about the sex. The storylines, which involved the various leads, were intriguing. Also, no one could question the amazing performances by the lead actors and actresses. There was so much chemistry between nearly all the leads, that it boggled the mind. While taking in the scenes, they kept thinking that whoever had cast the show was an absolute genius. 

Their main star, Brian Kinney, was particularly remarkable. Every once in a while they had glanced down at the résumés of their lead actors. Only one had stood out with an already established name in the business. That was Susan Glesser, who played the mother of another lead character. All the other actors had decent résumés, but no real name in the business to speak of. How an actor of Brian Kinney's caliber had avoided stardom before now was a mystery. Just from the pilot episode, the execs saw clearly that the role of Gabriel Hagan was custom-made for Brian. Several of the male execs, and all of the female execs in the room, already found themselves wanting to get to know Gabriel (and his portrayer) better. That boded well for their decision regarding the show. 

A few more minutes passed, as the audience watched the young blond on screen turn to his car, then drop into the driver's seat with tears forming on his face, while the tall brunet watched him drive off. He then padded his way, barefooted, back to the door to his apartment building. The screen went black and music began to swell, just as credits started to roll on-screen. A few seconds went by with no reaction from the audience. Just as the execs began to fear that they had misjudged the show, the test audience burst into applause. The conference room was filled with that sound, as it continued on throughout the rest of the credits. The house lights went up, and the nattily dressed executives watched the audience as they gathered up purses and jackets. As they filed their way to the back of the mini theater, the execs could see tears being wiped from women's eyes, along with several people sniffling. It was a good sign. Now all that was left to do before making final decisions was to read the comment cards, which were now being handed out to the viewers, as they filed out of the doors and into the lobby area. 

********************************************************

The third episode was wrapped up and ready for editing. It had been a busy week, crammed with scenes at almost all the major sets, including a couple of temporary ones. All the major players had important scenes. A recurring character, played by a talented young man named Blake Wyzecki, had a very important scene with Ted's character, Scotty. Blake's character, Dean Armstark, would set the stage for more than one major reveal about character developments in future episodes. The producers hadn't made up their minds yet as to how far they would extend Blake's character, but the young man had made a very good first impression on them. He got along quite well with the other actors too, which made his chances of an expanded part later on all the more possible. 

A young actress, just getting her start, also had the first of a pivotal encounter with major players. Her name was Tracy Connell and she was playing a co-worker of Hank Spears, Gabe's best friend. Michael Novotny had serious screen time with all the players, both major and minor for this episode. One scene at Hardy's, the local gay bar, put Hank together with his best friends, his mother, his Uncle Dick (played by Victor Grassi), and his future friend/enemy Reece. He would also encounter Linda, played by Tracy, outside the bar. 

A very important part to this episode involved Reece stepping back into Gabe's life, whether the older man liked it or not. The writers had first considered having Gabe show extreme irritation at the young man showing up in an almost stalkerish move to be close to him, but decided to change it at the last minute. Instead, they made Hank the one who was most irritated. It would set the tone for future episodes that clearly showed an uncomfortable connection between Justin and Michael's characters. It played perfectly into the combustible chemistry between the two actors who had very different personalities off camera too. 

Instead of being irritated, Gabe seemed almost flattered by young Reece's attention. Of course, that didn't mean he would stop being on the prowl for his next nightly fuck, a gorgeous-looking guy he had spotted at the bar earlier. Turning away from his prey for a brief moment when he saw Reece, Gabe lost contact with the trick he had been flirting with, causing him to leave the club in frustration. All this led up to the final shoot of the week, a very important one held at dance club, Sodom. The scenes shot at Sodom took up a large portion of the day's work. There was a lot of technical work needed to get the shots done perfectly. Dozens of extras were employed for the scene, making the dance club look crowded wall-to-wall with dancing, drinking, and cruising male bodies. Many of the extras actually were gay men, who were thrilled at the prospect of being involved in even a small way with a show that had already garnered a huge buzz in their community. 

One of the primary parts of the last scene for the episode involved young Reece taking over the dance floor in an attempt to make his presence known to Gabe, who was involved in a dancing ménage à trois with two sexy men. It was during this important scene that Justin's natural rhythm and musical skills became vividly apparent. Unfortunately, the scene also revealed a glaring flaw in Brian's talents. The actor was perfection in every way but one... he had no rhythm. After the Director yelled 'cut' for the third time because of the clumsy way the dancing appeared on camera between Gabe and his conquests, Justin hurriedly volunteered to give Brian dancing lessons during off-screen hours. No one caught the look that passed between the two actors as their Director thanked Justin for his generosity. But for the time being, he reminded them, Brian had to look like he felt at home on the dance floor. 

It still took three more takes before the Director was satisfied with what he saw through the lens of the camera. Amazingly, once Brian's character had insinuated himself in between Justin's character, and the two men who had moved over to dance with Reece instead, Gabe suddenly looked like he knew what to do on a dance floor. Brian might not have been a natural dancer, but he came alive when holding onto Justin, and the two actors moved in perfect time with each other, despite the fact that the music had been turned off to accommodate dialogue. No second takes were needed once they were in each other’s arms. The Director yelled 'cut' and 'that's a wrap' and actors began to scatter. 

It was then that a trim young lady dressed like an office girl appeared behind the Director and tapped him on the shoulder. She handed him a piece of folded-up paper and stepped back. The long-time Director, with a slew of top-notch projects under his belt, glanced quickly at the paper. He then hurriedly whispered something to his assistant, who was standing next to him with a small megaphone in his hands. The tool was often used to capture the attention of actors who had drifted into conversations, or off the set between takes. It was now used to stop any of the cast from leaving, as they usually did, once a scene was wrapped up. The moment the performers heard the Assistant Director's booming voice, they came to a halt, all eyes turned to the slight-looking man whose body belied the huge voice. Stars, bit players, and extras alike moved towards the small platform that their Director had stepped up onto. They waited for whatever was coming. The man cleared his throat, then got right to the point.

"I've just gotten word from the main office. There will be an important meeting here at the studio tomorrow, and everyone with a contract for the series is expected to attend."

A few groans could be heard coming from the crowd.

"I know... I know. It's Saturday and you all had plans for tomorrow. Tell it to your therapist, your significant other, or your Mom and Dad. Just make sure you don't miss the meeting. This comes directly from the top so I'm sure I'll see all of you there. And don't worry, messages have been sent out to those who weren't shooting today. You all did a great job, by the way. As a matter of fact, you did yourself proud all week. Go home and get some rest tonight. And don't stress out. Whatever the meeting is about is just as likely to be good news as bad. See you tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. in the main conference room." 

The Director stepped down and made a dash for the exit. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but he had his suspicions. He had been in the business long enough to know that an impromptu meeting right after head honchos at a network had been given a series pilot could only mean one of two things. Either they didn't like what they were seeing, and they wouldn't be backing the show with much of anything, including resources, or they loved what they saw, and planned on giving the show every available opportunity to make it a success. He was hoping for the latter. He was only one of a number of Directors hired for the new show, but his experience so far was completely positive, and he wanted to see how much further they could go with the whole concept. He also enjoyed working with both the cast and crew chosen to work in the series.

As he left the area, heading for the Bowgrip Production offices to see if he could get a hint as to which way the wind was blowing, all the cast and crew that had been held back seemed to suddenly move as one, like a spring that had been wound too tight, and was now released. Excited voices filled the room as they mingled with one another, trying to guess why they had been asked to come into the studio on their day off. Brian, Justin, Michael, Emmett, and Daphne, the primary actors in the scenes that had just been shot, gathered together at the bottom of the stairs, leading to a balcony overlooking the dance floor on the set. A couple of them had been on a series before, although never in such a prominent role, but they weren't sure why the meeting had been called. During the first few weeks of their shooting schedule there had been a number of meetings called, but always during regular working hours. They usually were held during blocking of scenes, rehearsal periods, or during table readings. This announcement had a different feel to it. 

After a bit of speculative conversation as to what the meeting was all about, everyone finally decided to call it a day. Those who had made plans for the weekend started thinking about the changes they would have to make, based on how long the meeting lasted, and what it might entail. Those who had no plans simply headed for home. Brian, Justin, Emmett and Ted met outside the studio. They had arranged a dinner date for the evening. Michael had made plans to spend the evening with an old friend of his who was in town for a comedy gig. Daphne wished the boys a good evening as she made her way to the parking lot. She had lived in Toronto for a number of years now, and had a date with her latest boyfriend, a Chemistry student at the University of Toronto. Hanging around a bunch of actors wasn't her idea of a good time when she wasn't working. 

Dinner was a lively affair for the four actors who had become good friends in such a short time. Emmett and Ted's relationship actually mirrored the one they portrayed as Pete and Scotty in the show. Of course, neither man had caught on yet to the fact that there was a similar mirror relationship going on between Brian and Justin, and their characters too, although on a far more intimate scale. At least if they had caught a clue, they didn't show it in any way. The conversation between the four friends was comfortable and easy-going, covering a wide variety of topics. Brian was particularly fond of Ted's dry wit and Emmett's bawdy comebacks. After dinner at a great restaurant, recommended to them by their latest director, also a native of Toronto, the men stopped at a bar for a few drinks before heading back to their hotel. They bid each other goodnight, with Justin getting off on his floor, and waiting for half an hour in his room, before taking the stairs two flights up to Brian's floor. 

Brian opened his door when he heard the quiet knock. Justin stood there, looking both left and right to make sure no one had spotted him. Brian wasted no time in pulling the blond into the room and closing the door behind him. The lovers came together in a hungry kiss, filled with repressed desire. Since Justin's roommate, Tommy, was still spending all his nights with his new boyfriend, Justin had been free to spend every night during the week with Brian. That didn't make their need for each other any less potent. If anything, it had given them the expectation of a night of passion every day while they were at work. Upcoming meetings and the reason behind them faded from minds, as the lovers stripped off constraining clothing, and devoured each other with busy hands, mouths, lips, and tongues. An hour later, their passion thoroughly and deliciously spent, they fell into a restful sleep.

**************************************************************

The Producers of 'Queer Folk & Family' stood together, watching as their employees filed through the conference room doors single file, and in pairs. It took some time for the room to fill up, because every member of both cast and crew had been called in. Even background actors with contracts to appear on a regular basis had been called in. It was obvious that something important was about to happen. Bowen and Gripman waited until the majority of the crowd had settled into their seats, facing the small stage at the center of the room. Phil tapped the microphone in front of him a few times. All conversations tapered off into silence. The couple waited a couple of more minutes for all eyes to turn to them, and then Phil spoke.

"I'm sure you are all wondering why this meeting was called. My partner and I won't keep you in suspense any longer. We do have an important announcement to make, but first we'd like to speak to you about this show. We've already made it clear that we are very pleased with what has been happening, both in front of the cameras and behind the scenes for the last few weeks. That's the reason for our little celebratory party a couple of weeks ago. Each and every one of you has proven your worth to the production, and we just want to thank you again for all your hard work."

An uneasy murmur passed through the crowd. This was beginning to sound like a farewell speech... with a pat on the back for a job well done. They wondered if the six episodes that had been green-lighted already would be the end, or if production would stop here and now. Bowen and Gripman could sense a sudden unease in the room. They stared at each other in surprise.

"I think you should get right to the heart of the matter before we have a mutiny on our hands," Richard warned his partner. Phil nodded and raised his hand to quiet their audience.

"People, please. If you'll let me continue.... as some of you may know, we finished editing the two-part pilot episode, and sent them on to the Network for approval, so that they could be shown to a test audience for feedback. Yesterday, we received a memo at our office, and we decided to share it with all of you at the same time, rather than sending out our own memo. In this way, everyone will know what to expect in the future and what is expected of them. My partner here will read the memo to you verbatim right now.... Dick?"

Phil handed a fax sheet over to his partner and stepped back. Richard Gripman stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat. Looking down on the sheet of paper in his hand, he began talking.

"Memo to Bowgrip Productions," he began, "Regarding television production for the series 'Queer Folk & Family'.... Dear Sirs, we have reviewed your pilot episodes and presented it to several test audiences for their critiques. The end results are that the Network has decided to back your show with full support. This includes a contract that ensures a guarantee of at least one full season consisting of twenty-two episodes. Naturally all agreements made in your earlier contracts will still hold true in this new arrangement. We expect an outline of where you intend to take the storylines by the date set forth in the new contract. We also expect your full support with publicity required to draw an audience to the new program. A new air date for the premier of the show has been set for next month, rather than the month after, so that we can get a jump on the other cable networks winter programming. Full details will be forthcoming in future correspondence. We have complete faith that all requirements can be met by you and your teams. In exchange, you will have access to all the resources we have available to increase your chances for a hit. We look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Jay Brackman: President of ShowHours Network. "

Phil took a deep breath as he reached the end of the memo. The room remained as silent as a tomb for all of five seconds, as the news sank in on his audience. Suddenly, like a snowball rolling down a steep hill, voices raised as everyone realized what the news meant. They had just been ensured half a year's worth of work at salaries that all of them were quite happy with. It even meant that there could be more work in the future if they did a fantastic job, and developed a strong following that would pull in high ratings for the series. Folks instantly began thinking about how they would handle this news. Out-of-towners had things to deal with concerning family and work prospects back home. Native Canadians had to think about other jobs they may have considered earlier, when they thought this job might turn out to be short-term. 

Two of the lead actors turned to each other, with a look passing between them that no one else could have read... not unless they knew more about the secretive relationship between the two men. Brian and Justin, as well as everyone else in the room, turned back to face the Producers when they heard a loud whistle through the microphone. All faces, most with large grins on their faces, stared straight ahead, giving their bosses their rapt attention. This time Richard Gripman spoke up.

"Alright, folks! It's obvious that you know what this means. It looks like we are getting exactly what we had hoped for. We want you to go home and enjoy your weekend, because you will be working harder than ever in the coming months. We don't want to disappoint the Network. They are showing a lot of faith in us and we're going to deliver. We need our writing staff to stay today. We need to have one hell of a brainstorming session. We only had our hopes built up for a thirteen or fourteen episode season, so we have our work cut out for us. The rest of you can leave but we need you at work, bright and early Monday morning. You pretty much already know your assignments for the next week, but we'll keep you informed of any developments as quickly as we possibly can. So, like I said, go home and have fun this weekend. We'll see you on Monday."

The couple watched as everyone gathered up possessions and shuffled out en masse through the front doors. They smiled at each other. They had been together as a couple for decades, so no words were necessary for them to know what each was thinking. They had made huge strides in getting their show... one they believed in with all their hearts... into the public eye. Now they knew they would have valuable support in doing so. It was their baby, and they had just been told it would live a longer life than even they had expected. They felt that this was going to change their lives forever. They suspected it might change the lives of some other people too. It wouldn't be long before they would be proven right.... on so many counts.

To be continued..................


	13. Making Love and Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the series has gotten the okay to continue filming more episodes for a lengthy Season, Brian has leased a house, where he and Justin can indulge their affair to their heart's content. All has been going beautifully until a cloud of worry has appeared, especially for Justin, when they are told that they have to participate in a publicity tour, in order to offer the public a closer look at this exciting new series being offered them. Could all the publicity expose more than either would like to see happen?

"Penny for your Thoughts."

Justin turned away from the home-made soup he had been stirring absent-mindedly for the last five minutes, and found himself looking up into Brian's face, only inches away from him. He was so distracted by his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the actor entering the tidy little kitchen from the other room. As often happened, Justin's heart skipped a beat at the sight of his lover. The thought crossed his mind, for the hundredth time, that he never felt anything like this with any of his former boyfriends. It was just one more reason why he was so grateful that he had taken a chance on accepting his first television role. Despite the gratitude, Justin now found himself feeling extreme stress over his job for the first time.

Brian noticed the flicker of concern as it crossed his beautiful lover's face, and immediately sensed the source behind it. Justin was feeling tense ever since the meeting last week, in which major cast members were informed that they were expected to participate in publicity events for the show. Brian's hand went up to Justin's face, his long fingers slowly caressing the worry lines that had formed on Justin's furrowed brow, as if he could just wipe them away. He leaned forward and gently kissed Justin's lips.

"I'm not so sure they are worth an entire penny," Justin responded, as Brian pulled back from the kiss.

"Let me be the judge of that," Brian told him. "I know something has been bothering you for at least a week, Justin. Does it have anything to do with the premiere of our show? I don't think you need to be worried. The last few weeks of filming couldn't have gone smoother, and you know what Bowen and Gripman told us at the meeting last week. They are more than a little pleased with what we've accomplished with the first half dozen episodes. They're convinced we have a huge hit on our hands, and they have a lot more experience than both of us combined. Anyway, we'll know for sure how the wind blows next Sunday. So, why waste time fretting about the future now? Right?"

Justin let a half-smile lighten his face just enough, so that Brian couldn't resist bestowing another kiss, this time with a bit more fervor. Their lips blended into each other, as a now familiar heat began rising between them. Neither man was capable of stemming the arousal that built inside them whenever they were so close, as long as there were no cameras on them. It had been hard enough controlling those physical reactions while filming. Luckily, they hadn't had nearly the same kind of sexual scenes in the last three episodes as they had during the first three. Although there had been that one rather hot scene in the bedroom of Gabe's best friend, Hank Spears, after Reece had run away from his mother's questions about his sexuality, and ended up in Debbie Spears' house. In fact, it was because of that scene that they spent many hours after work, late into the night, working on ideas of how to better control their libidos during future sex scenes. 

Now, inside the privacy of Brian's new rental home, they had no need for control. Brian's arms encircled Justin's body, as he pulled the blond so close, they could feel each other's growing hard-ons. All thoughts of the home-made soup Justin had been preparing for their Sunday lunch vanished, as a tide of desire began to sweep them away. Justin felt Brian pulling him away from the hot stove, in the house that Brian had leased only a few weeks before. He let himself be guided towards the marbled counter-top of the sink on the other side of the room, never once letting their lips separate from each other. Brian had somehow maneuvered Justin so that his back was to the counter. Still in a lip lock, their tongues now exploring their mouths, Brian released Justin from his embrace and lifted the young man, by his waist, onto the counter. 

Justin had never made love in a kitchen before, but he instinctively knew what Brian wanted. He was more than ready to indulge any fantasy Brian might have. For Brian's part, he knew what Justin wanted from him too. In the rather short time they had been lovers, they had already tried a wide variety of lovemaking techniques and positions. Brian had become an expert in what pleased Justin the most, while Justin always succeeded in offering just as much pleasure for Brian. Brian carefully pushed Justin back against the tiled wall, lifted his hips off the counter, then removed the loose-fitting sweatpants he always wore around the house during their days off. The cool marble felt good under Justin's bare ass. 

Brian next removed Justin's shirt, slipping it quickly over the young man's crown of spun-gold hair. Brian, who was dressed similarly to Justin, made quick work of dropping his own pants and shirt from his slender frame. Both men had been going commando, so the removal of those two articles of clothing left them nakedly exposed to the welcome gaze of each other. The sight inflamed their already heightened senses even more, leading them to go in for another passionate kiss. This led to more kisses along cheeks, down to necks, and onto heaving chests. They took turns devouring nipples, sucking on them, causing them to turn into hardened peaks against the skin. 

Justin eventually lay back against the wall again, so that Brian could lower his head and engulf the blond's rock-hard manhood, from tip to base in one rapid move. Justin shuddered, overcome by the intense pleasure the feeling of Brian's hot mouth brought to him. Like an animal in heat, Justin began thrusting his hips upwards, his ass bouncing on and off the cool marble. It didn't take long for Justin to see stars behind his eyes, as he felt his balls tightening up, preparing to release a torrent of satisfaction down Brian's throat. Brian sensed the rapidly approaching onslaught and worked his tongue and mouth feverishly, urging Justin to give him all he had. A few more minutes of overwhelming tension passed, until Justin let out a moan from deep in his gut, then thrust once more as the dam broke. Brian swallowed hard, loving the taste of his young lover.

Justin immediately wanted to give Brian the same kind of ecstasy he had just experienced. He leaned sideways, reaching for a turtle shaped glass bowl, with a cover shaped like a turtle's shell. He had bought the item as a housewarming gift, just after Brian signed the lease on the new house, which was set back in a cul-de-sac at the edge of town. Justin lifted the lid, exposing a bowl full of condoms. Brian reached for the one on top and handed it to Justin, who opened it. Justin leaned forward, nearly slipping off the counter, and placed the rolled item on the tip of Brian's burgeoning cock. He rolled it down until it was firmly in place. Justin lay back once more and waited for Brian to take over. He didn't have long to wait. 

Brian lifted Justin's legs up and placed his feet on the edge of the counter, spreading his legs apart, exposing Brian’s target peeking out from beneath the hanging scrotum and deflated cock, resting just above. Brian moved the pendulous items to the side, before diving in with his tongue thrust out, aiming for the sensitive skin of Justin's perineum. He began to lick up and down the entire area, watching with amusement as Justin's hole spasmed in anticipation. Brian stuck a couple of fingers in his mouth and wet them thoroughly. He got back to licking, as he pressed the newly moistened digits against Justin's hole, and then slowly pushed them inside. He waited to press in harder until he felt the muscles totally relaxing. 

Brian began finger fucking Justin, while the discomfort in his own groin grew with each passing second. The moment he heard his lover begging for the real thing, Brian rapidly replaced his fingers with the tip of his sheathed cock. Brian began thrusting inside. He immediately felt the hole expand, due to all the foreplay preparation. Once Brian was seated, he slowly pulled out, then pressed forward again. In...out...in...out...in...out! Like a heat-seeking missile, Brian's lips found Justin's lips. Justin could taste himself on Brian, and it inflamed him further. His hips rose to meet Brian's thrusts. The love dance increased in tempo, until it became an out-of-control fire. The sounds of lust and need filled the room, until one final thrust brought them both to the edge of perfection. Brian filled the condom buried deep inside his lover, as Justin released a few drops more, which seemed to come from the very center of his being. 

Brian laid his exhausted head against Justin's chest. Justin held him there, with his hands resting lovingly against the sides of Brian's face. Brian felt Justin's rapid heartbeat. He knew his was drumming just as hard. They stayed in these positions for long minutes, waiting for the world to slow down to a normal rhythm, and for their legs to feel steady again. Finally, Justin lifted Brian's head up and looked deep into Brian's eyes. He saw something there that he couldn't put a name to. He knew that his own eyes reflected the love he felt for this man, but he had never heard Brian say anything remotely like the same kind of love, so he was hesitant to put his emotions into words. For all he knew, this remarkable affair would end with the filming of the last episode of the series. Justin did not want to do anything to risk losing even a minute of what they already had, so instead of saying anything, Justin smiled at Brian. The smile he got back was all Justin needed... for now. Justin looked away to stare at the counter his butt was still resting on. He looked back at Brian and laughed.

"I guess you should go to the bathroom and clean up for lunch. I worked hard on that soup, and if it hasn't boiled down to nothing yet, I'd still like to serve it. But first, I think I should scrub down the counter-top. Don't you agree? I'm not so sure many of our friends would want to come here for poker night and dinner on the weekends, if they knew how we used the kitchen furnishings."

Brian let out a burst of laughter. "I don't know. I think a few of them, like Emmett and Victor, wouldn't mind that much. Of course, I doubt if that new guy, David something or other, would like it. But then again, he wouldn't fit in anyway."

"Cameron."

"Cameron?"

"That's his name. David Cameron," informed Justin. "If I can remember his name, and I haven't had a single scene with him, why can't you? You've had several scenes with him already."

"Because I have had scenes with him. He's not that memorable... trust me. It takes a ton of takes for him to get through an ordinary scene, like the one at the bar. And Michael says the love scenes are torture. It’s painfully obvious that the guy hates what he is doing, and he complains all the time. Both Bowen and Gripman are sorry they hired him, or at least that's what is being said on the grapevine. I heard it from Louis myself, and you know the crew always know more about what's really going on than anyone else. What I'd like to know is why the jerk took the part in the first place. We all knew well in advance what we were signing up for."

"Well, don't let it get under your skin. Just be glad you don't have any sex scenes with the guy, or at least not yet."

Brian shuddered. "If they put me in a sex scene with him, I'm out of here."

Justin laughed. "And then who will I have sex with?" 

Brian snickered.

"I mean on camera, dope," Justin shot back at Brian. "Now let me off this counter. My poor ass is starting to feel numb, and not in a positive life-affirming way. Besides, I'm starving. You wash up and I'll clean up in here so we can eat."

Brian nodded and lifted Justin back down to the floor. He gave the gorgeous blond a sharp whack on his bare behind, as he turned to leave the room. Justin heard Brian mutter something about the slap waking up his ass. Justin stared after him, a warm smile filling his face. Then he got down to the business of cleaning up the kitchen, before ladling the soup into large bowls and pulling out the crusty French bread that had been warming in the oven. Justin pulled his pants and top back on and carried the food, along with garlic butter and silverware to the dining table. He went back to fetch the mixed-green salad from the fridge and a bottle of dressing. Once the table was ready, he waited for Brian to join him.

Once Brian came back, all fresh, clean, and redressed, the two dug into their meal. Brian enjoyed Justin's cooking skills almost, but not quite, as much as his prowess in lovemaking. He felt that Justin could have been a chef, just as easily as he could an actor. If Justin thought that Brian would forget his earlier question about what was bothering him, thanks to their mutual, and very satisfying distraction, he was sorely mistaken. Brian didn't like seeing Justin unhappy, and he sensed that whatever had been bothering him lately was still an issue. 

The couple spent the first half of their meal talking about general subjects that interested them. Much of it was really just gossip from the set, or amusing anecdotes about their weekly poker games, which a small segment of cast and crew had become involved in for the last month. The first to suggest their get-togethers was the elder of their group… Susan Glesser, who played Hank Spears’ mother on the show to sheer perfection. If anyone deserved another Emmy, it was Susan. She had literally become the mother hen figure for her much younger cast members. There were also a few crew members who fit perfectly into their little gatherings. 

It was only when the newest contract actor's name came up, that Brian found the right opening to bring up the matter of what was bothering Justin for the second time. Justin didn't respond right away, but he knew Brian well enough to know that he wouldn't drop it until he had received a satisfactory answer. Justin gave a sigh and began to explain himself.

"Okay, I admit it, Brian. I do have a concern... a big one. I've never been exposed to the kind of scrutiny that we are about to have heaped on us, and I'm worried about it. Now, don't look at me like that! My name has only been known in theater circles up until now. The only kind of articles I've had written about me concerned theater work, and the only real readers of that stuff are folks like me. And yes, I've been openly gay for years within my own insular world, but now Bowen and Gripman have plans to build our show into an international favorite. Not just national... but international, you know. Don't misunderstand me, I don't give a crap who knows I'm gay. That isn't what worries me. What does is that our lives, yours and mine, will now be up for scrutiny in every way possible. And you know that the press loves nothing more than finding dirt on everyone. That holds even truer for controversial figures. We both know this show is going to be controversial, at best, so they are going to want to expose everything."

"What we have between us will be almost impossible to keep secret. I can't speak for you, Brian, but I like keeping it a secret. I'm selfish that way. I don't want to share it with anyone. I'm afraid if we do, we'll lose something in the translation. Do you know what I mean? I mean, I think I'm a pretty skilled actor, but I'm not sure how good I'll be at keeping our relationship under wraps with prying eyes. It's hard enough to accomplish with people I trust."

Brian sat thinking for a couple of minutes. He too didn't want his affair with Justin exposed to the world. His reason was more due to the fact that, despite not really giving a fuck what anyone else thought, he had no desire to explain himself to anyone. Brian had not kept his sexuality a secret to please his managers or representatives, although they thought it was their idea. He simply had no intention of sharing his private life with anyone who didn't matter, which for him was most people. Brian was not really a trusting soul. Even though he had not yet made a name for himself that was big enough to warrant a lot of curiosity into his private life, Brian had seen it happen to others first-hand. He had prepared himself mentally to handle it if the show took off, but he could now see that Justin hadn’t dealt with it yet. Brian scooted his chair closer to Justin and reached for the young man's hand. He held it in his lap and gave Justin a peck on the cheek. 

"Justin, I don't want you to worry so much. You are one smart cookie. I have all the faith in the world in your ability to handle whatever they throw at us during this upcoming promotional tour. Just think of it as a two-week vacation before we get back to work again. Before we leave on the tour, we'll work together on how we are going to deal with the publicists and reporters. I don't think there is anything we can't accomplish if we do it as a team. We'll just be discreet to keep them guessing. Truthfully, I think the fans will enjoy the mystery of it all, even more than the reality. You already know how fans like to imagine that a couple with remarkable chemistry on-screen, also have the real thing going off-screen. If that's where the questions are headed, we'll dance around them so fast, they won't know what hit them."

Justin lifted his hand, still being held by Brian, to his cheek and rubbed it against the soft side. 

"You're right, Brian. We both know that I'm one damned fine dancer and you're getting better every week. We can do it. We'll bedazzle them with our charm and keep them guessing," he promised, his tongue planted firmly in his cheek.

"That's the Justin I know you to be," Brian declared.

Seeing Justin more relaxed, the couple got back to their meal in relative silence, as they both pondered the challenges they would be facing after finishing next week's scheduled shootings, then taking on the publicity tour. It wasn't going to be easy, but it would set the groundwork for their futures. No one knew what the future held for 'Queer Folk & Family', but Brian and Justin were two actors who had a lot riding on the entire thing. It wasn't just their careers that would be affected by what came next... it was their personal romantic lives too.

To be continued....


	14. Facing the First Hurdle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first episodes are ready for viewing, and it is time for the cast to promote their upcoming series. Will everything go smoothly, or is there a surprise waiting for one actor that will shake things up?

Justin sat next to Brian on one side, with Emmett on the other at the long table set up on the stage of the auditorium. He tried hard to control his nerves. This was a foreign feeling for him. He had spent years in front of an audience, but then he was always playing a character. This was real life, and he didn't have a fake persona to hide behind. On top of that, this was so different because a decent percentage of the audience seated in rows facing the table consisted of reporters for magazines, newspapers, or online blogs. There were nine other cast members and staff seated at the table behind microphones. Bottles of water stood next to the microphones. Justin reached for his bottle and took a long gulp. 

"You're going to be fine," a familiar voice whispered softly next to him.

Justin turned to glance quickly at his co-star and secret lover. Brian smiled reassuringly. Brian hadn't expected Justin to be so wound up over their first big publicity gig here in the great State of New York. After spending so much time with Justin after work hours, he had learned to read the younger man's body language. Because of that, he knew that Justin was more than a little on edge. This surprised Brian, since Justin was normally a very confident person. Actually, he doubted Justin would feel this way if they had not become involved with each other. For a brief second, Brian wished they had chosen to simply be open about their relationship, so Justin wouldn't be forced into keeping a secret, something he was clearly uncomfortable with. At this moment, he wasn't quite sure why they had decided to remain secretive, but now wasn't the time to dissect the decision. 

Brian looked down the table in both directions, offering a similar smile to everyone else, giving the impression that he hadn't aimed his gaze at just one man. It was all right. When his eyes fell back on Justin again, he could see that the young man had calmed down quite a bit. Maybe everything would run smoothly after all. Heaven knows, the couple had practiced their responses to a number of questions often enough, since finding out that all the major players were expected to attend the pre-screenings of the Pilot episodes of the show at different venues throughout the States, before it premiered on cable. The whole idea was to get word-of-mouth out there before the show even aired. The larger the audience watching it on their TV screens, the higher the ratings. The higher the ratings, the better their chances of the show becoming a hit. Everyone was expected to do their part to make the show a success. 

That was why all eight of the main leads, along with the head Producers of the show, were now sitting at the table, waiting for the emcee to quiet the audience down so that questions could be asked. Actually, all of those onstage were filled with a kind of nervous energy in anticipation of the audience’s reactions. The last minutes of the Pilot episodes had just finished, and the credits had rolled while the theme song played in the background. The panel had stepped out from behind the curtains as the music played, and taken their assigned seats at the table. As the screen went black, the house lights came on. For a few seconds they heard nothing but silence, as if the audience was too stunned to react. Suddenly the sound of clapping could be heard. and it grew louder with each passing second. Finally, the emcee appeared. 

As soon as the emcee was able to quiet the audience, he began to introduce each of the members of the panel one by one, giving their real names and the names of their characters. When he got to the middle, he introduced Justin as Reece Hartley. Then came Brian as Gabriel Hagan, Michael as Hank Spears, and Susan as Debbie Spears. The final three members of the panel got their turn. After each name was announced, the audience responded with various amounts of enthusiasm. There was little doubt who had made the most impact on the audience. Bowen and Gripman certainly took notice of the responses too. 

As soon as the emcee completed the introductions, he opened the floor to questions and comments. Hands shot up all over the place. Helpers with microphones began scattering, so that they could provide the means for audience members to be heard. They had been told to start with the press, which were seated in the front rows. The emcee pointed to a tall stocky man of approximately forty years or so, and the helper stuck the microphone in his face.

"Hi. I'm Bill Jackson with GayScenes Magazine. First, if I may... a comment." The reporter paused for a moment, then... "Wow!" Laughter broke out in the room. "Next, a question. I saw the original British production of this show. I recognized a lot of similarities between the two. Was this intentional, and are you planning to stick with the same storyline all the way through the series? If I may add, there does seem to be a different kind of chemistry between your two leads playing the teenager and the ad man, and the two leads playing similar characters on the British version, which is why I ask the question. Also, the British version was actually quite short. I believe that you have already received the go-ahead for a lot more episodes than the British version produced. So how will that impact where you take the story? This question is, of course, for the Producers."

Phil Bowen, who was usually the more talkative of their team, answered the question.

"Well, first of all I'd like to thank you for the comment. As for your question, yes, we deliberately paid tribute to the original show, because without it we would not have found such an intriguing idea to bring to our American audience. But as to the future, the answer is no. We have no plans of copying the show in its entirety. That thought crossed our minds until we actually cast the show. We feel that we've been extraordinarily lucky with that casting, because we discovered a group of actors who have the most amazing chemistry with each other that we've ever witnessed. As a result, we plan to work the story around those remarkable connections."

"And am I correct that one of those connections is between your lead characters, Gabriel Hagan and the young Reece Hartley?" the reporter asked as he took his seat.

"I think that question answers itself by what you saw on screen just now, don't you?" 

Everyone on the panel could see dozens of heads nodding approval in the audience. Hands shot up throughout the audience. The emcee pointed to a lady of indeterminate age who was dressed in a smart business suit. She stood up, taking the microphone from the attendant who had joined her.

"Hello, I'm Marjorie Bristol with The New York Daily Report. Now that the subject has been brought up, I'd like to get right to the question that I am certain is on everyone's mind, especially after watching the pilot episodes. It is impossible to miss the chemistry between the actors playing Gabriel and Reece, so this question is for them. You've been working together for two or three months now. Did you find it difficult to do the sex scenes in the beginning when you barely knew each other, and has it gotten easier with time? And if you don't mind, could you tell us what it is like playing a gay character?"

Brian spoke first. "Well, Ms. Bristol, you are the first to ask this kind of question, but I'm sure you won't be the last. I'll try to be direct with you. I can only speak for myself, but I find the sex scenes to be no different than any other type of scene, because it is all a part of acting. I'm playing a role, and I try to immerse myself in the character as much as is humanly possible. But Gabriel Hagan is not Brian Kinney. This is my first gay role, but I don't separate the sexuality of my character from his being human. For me, it wouldn't matter whether he lusted after men or women. That doesn't change who he is, or what motivates him to act like he does. In the scenes you saw with myself and Justin Taylor, I played it like two human beings interacting, not two men. And believe me, if you saw how technical the scenes are when they are being filmed with a room full of crew, you wouldn't wonder whether it is stimulating to the actors."

Numerous sounds of giggles and suppressed laughter could be heard from the audience. Brian glanced over at Justin and winked. It made Justin feel safe and calm when he heard his name called.

"And you, Mr. Taylor...do you feel the same way about those scenes? According to your press release, you are nowhere near as young as your character, but have you ever played a gay character before. And how do you deal with the most intimate scenes? You and your acting partner certainly make it look like there is more than acting going on between you."

Justin made a valiant effort to avoid blushing, but the question brought up momentary memories of his reactions to Brian from the very first time they were intimate for the camera, and that was before they had actually become lovers. 

"Yes, Ma'am, I am actually about a half dozen years older than my character, so I wasn't as uncomfortable with the sex scenes as I am sure I would have been in my teens. However, it was new to me since I've spent my career on stage, and this is my first work in front of a camera. I was exceedingly lucky to get an acting partner like Brian Kinney. He has a bit more experience than I, and he was very patient with me. He is also the most amazing actor I've ever worked with. Working with someone that good always improves your own abilities."

Justin suddenly realized he was beginning to sound like he was gushing over Brian. He immediately stopped talking. Brian smoothly took up the slack.

"Don't let him fool you. Mr. Taylor needs no guidance in acting. He has plenty of talent of his own," Brian declared, bringing out an instant round of applause from an agreeable audience. 

Justin smiled at Brian, grateful for the distraction from himself. Apparently his answer was satisfactory, because the emcee had moved on to another question. For the next hour, one question after another was asked, with every member of the panel getting their fair share of the inquiries. It was noticed that Brian and Justin did seem to receive the lion's share of the questions, however, but that was expected since they were two out of the three main leads. Susan received the next highest number of inquiries, which surprised no one. Her enthusiastic support of the show was unmistakable. It brought a huge smile to the faces of Bowen and Gripman. Her participation in the show had a great deal to do with actors coming in to read for parts. In the beginning, very few actors had been willing to take a chance on a show with so many gay characters and perceived controversial storylines. 

The hour of questioning was soon nearly over. For the most part, what was asked by the journalists and reporters who came from all over the States, and as far away as England, was exactly what everyone had anticipated. They involved questions about how they liked working in Canada, how people treated them around there, what they thought of the show itself, and the characters they were playing. Also, if they were happy about getting the green light for a full season, what their hopes were for the future, if they were really naked in those scenes that made it appear so, and on and on. One rather young man from a California newspaper finally asked the question they knew would come sooner or later, and that was what their real-life sexuality was. Emmett and Justin were the first to openly admit they were gay in real life. Then one by one the others laughed, before apologizing for actually being straight. They did it in such an amusing way that the audience let out their sucked-in breaths, and laughed right along with them. They got the irony of someone straight coming out of the closet, and admitting they weren't gay. Brian was the only one who admitted nothing one way or another. 

"When it becomes the law that we all have to put down our sexual preference on our birth certificates or our Income Tax forms, along with everything else about ourselves, then I'll state the facts. In the meantime, I think those things are not required, because it is nobody's business who I am attracted to." Brian smiled pleasantly as he said this, diluting the sting that his words could have had. 

A few more questions were asked, and then the emcee started to announce that it was time to end the program. Suddenly a short, slender man with very dark hair and complexion stood up from behind a tall, heavy-set man, who had been shielding him from view of those on the panel. Brian heard a sharp intake of breath coming from Justin and quickly looked over at his partner. Justin's face had gone pale. He looked back to the audience to see what had brought on the unexpected reaction. 

"One more question if I may, before you end the press conference," the young man announced, causing Justin to slump back in his chair. His hand reached for Brian's knee under the table cover, which hid his gesture from the eyes of both panel members and audience. He squeezed so hard that Brian could feel discomfort from the pressure. 

The emcee was caught off-guard, but was experienced enough to allow the last questioner to continue without making it seem awkward. He waved to an assistant who rushed over to the man standing up, waiting for him and his microphone.

"My name is Ethan Gold and I'm an independent journalist. My question is for Justin Taylor. You have openly admitted that you are gay, but you failed to answer one question that was asked earlier, and that was whether there is anything more than acting going on between you and Mr. Kinney? Of course, you may already have a boyfriend or someone special. If so, would you like to give us a name?"

A hush fell over the audience. No one else had dared to ask such a personal question, but in truth they wouldn't have minded an answer. They waited. Justin sat in his chair, his whole body as stiff as a board. What in the world was Ethan thinking? Justin had been so happy with Brian, that he had completely forgotten Ethan, and it had never occurred to him that the guy would think to come to the preview of the show. They hadn't parted on the best of terms, but Justin hadn't heard a single word from Ethan since the day he stormed out of the apartment. He hadn't expected to ever hear from him again, which suited him just fine. Now his ex was using his job to probe into something that was none of his business. Justin's thoughts scurried around inside his head, searching for the right thing to say. A few more seconds of silence followed, then Justin felt Brian's hand squeezing gently as it came to rest on top of his on his knee. Justin suddenly felt a calm come over him. His thumb reached up and gently caressed the side of Brian's hand, before he pulled his own away. He then leaned forward to the mike.

"That's an interesting question, Mr. Gold. The answer is that my private life is called private for a reason. But I will say this... I have had a few boyfriends before joining the show, but no one special. As far as I know, I haven't met Mr. Right yet. As for Mr. Kinney, I would never presume to speak for him, and I would certainly never dream of invading his privacy. I am quite sure he feels the same way about me. I don't ask him personal questions, and he doesn't ask me any either. We have become very good friends. So, if it is that way between friends, I see no reason to allow someone who isn't a friend to do such a thing as ask me an invasive question like that. I appreciate your interest, but that is all the answer I can give you. Would you like to ask Mr. Kinney the same question?"

"No, thanks," replied Ethan, only a tiny hint of sarcasm in his tone. "I'm sure his answer would be very much like yours."

The emcee could feel tension in the air, although he had no idea as to why. Some of the previous questions had also been a bit intrusive on occasion. Whatever was causing it, he knew it was time to wrap things up. Before Ethan could take his seat, the emcee announced the conclusion of the discussion. The audience took its cue and burst into applause. The panel gathered their drinks and began leaving the stage through a side curtain. The audience continued to clap wildly until they were all out of sight. Backstage, everyone clapped each other on the back or hugged, congratulating themselves on a job well done. Brian was finally able to get Justin far enough away from the group to ask him what had just happened. 

"Brian, I know we said we'd be discreet while on the publicity tour, but I really need to see you tonight. I have a good friend here in the city. He's out of town right now for a tour of his play, and he said I can use his apartment anytime I'm here, since my own apartment has been sub-let. I have the key. Here's the address. Can you meet me there? I'll explain everything then."

Brian took the scrap of paper that Justin had scribbled an address on and pocketed it. He wanted to hug Justin so bad, but this wasn't the time or place. 

"I'll be there," he promised his lover. 

Brian watched Justin walk back to the group and tell everyone goodbye. Justin promised to be on time at the airport in the morning for the next leg of their publicity tour, then hurried away, not even glancing back at Brian. Brian joined the group, and laughed at some of the night's adventures, especially the more interesting questions they had been asked. Soon the gathering broke up. They wanted to get a good night's sleep. This was just the beginning of their two-week tour, and they needed all their energy to get through it. A few hugs and back-slaps, then Brian was free to grab a cab. He gave the cabbie the address Justin had passed on. On the way, Brian prayed that everything was alright with Justin. He wanted to know what had bothered the young man. He would find out and whatever it was, they would handle it together. He had no doubt of that.

To be continued...........


	15. Looking Back... Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, since Brian and Justin have become a couple (albeit secretly), they are sitting down to a serious discussion about their relationship and what it means for their future.

Justin realized he was pacing the floor, and forced himself to calm down and relax. He knew he was being ridiculous. Brian Kinney was not a kid. They had never really discussed their past lives before meeting for the first time at the auditions, but Justin was certain that Brian had a few stories he could also tell of mistaken judgments, where some other man was concerned. Of course, Ethan Gold wasn't just any mistake. The man had the ability to expose anything he wanted to, if given the right ammunition. He wasn't exactly a big-time writer yet, but he did have his fair share of readers. Apparently, after tonight's performance at the Q & A press conference, Ethan had one other thing that made him dangerous. He had a grudge. Justin wasn't looking forward to telling Brian about his history with the bastard.

It had been almost half an hour since Justin had left Brian behind. He felt a strong need for a drink. Justin pulled open a couple of cabinets, before finding the bottle of inexpensive bourbon that his old friend usually had on hand. He pulled the bottle down and opened it up, then went in search of a glass. Finding one, he poured several fingers worth in the glass and gulped it down quickly, feeling the burn as it hit the back of his dry throat. It was at that very moment that he heard a knock on the door. Justin hurried to the door to answer it. He threw the door open, grateful to see Brian's smiling face on the other side. Without taking the time to check for any hidden observers, Justin pulled Brian into the apartment. As the door closed behind them, the couple embraced. Justin kissed Brian hard, some of his anxiety seeping through the kiss. 

"Hey, Justin, what’s up? You act like something has really gotten under your skin. Does this have anything to do with that last reporter's stupid question? I could tell that something was bothering you the second he stood up, and it felt to me like it had to do with something more than just the question he asked." 

"Let's sit down first, Brian. Would you like a drink? Gary doesn't have much to offer, but we do have a bottle of bourbon."

Brian nodded, then followed Justin over to the small sofa in the corner of the living room before taking a seat. He patiently waited, while Justin left to retrieve a second glass from the kitchen. He watched the young man carefully as Justin poured out a hefty-sized drink for Brian. This was the first time that Brian had ever seen Justin so nervous. Whatever was bothering the young man, Brian knew he needed to get it off his chest. Brian hurriedly swallowed his drink and set the glass down on the coffee table. He pulled Justin down to the sofa beside him, grabbing both his shoulders in his hands.

"Alright, you have done the sociable thing now, so let's get to what is really going on. I'm a little concerned about your reaction to that guy's question. We both knew that there would be some very intrusive questions asked, but you handled the earlier ones with no trouble at all. Then all of a sudden, you get this last question, and I could see that something had changed."

"You don't think I handled him very well?"

"That's just it, Justin. You handled him extremely well. I was really impressed, but you were acting all fidgety and nervous. That's what I don't get."

Suddenly, Brian had a new thought, based on Justin's reaction before the guy even opened his mouth. 

"Wait a minute. Did that guy bother you so much because you know him? Is that the problem?"

Justin knew it was time to be honest. 

"Yes, I know him, and I know why he asked the question the way he did. The problem is that I don't know if he simply wanted to embarrass me, or if he really thought something was going on between us and liked the idea of exposing it. It probably has something to do with the fact that I broke up with him right after getting the part of Reece, and he didn't take too kindly to the break-up." 

Justin paused, trying to gauge Brian's reaction to what he had just confessed. If he was looking for surprise, he was to be disappointed. If anything, Brian looked almost amused. Brian lowered his hands from Justin's shoulders, and clasped his hands together.

"Are you telling me that you weren't a virgin when I came to your bed that first time?" Brian questioned his lover in a mocking tone, sucking in his breath as if shocked by that very thought.

"Not funny, Brian. It's just that we never really talked about our earlier lives before now, except for our career goals and dreams, and I actually didn't expect to ever see Ethan again. And if he was just another guy, I wouldn't have had another thought about him. The problem is that he could cause us trouble if he wanted to. He's an independent writer, but he has sold his articles to several different gossip magazines, including a few of the more legitimate publications. If he ever had proof that we were more than just co-workers, he might go out of his way to blast it all over the tabloids. He actually accused me of thinking of someone else that last time we were together. That's how jealous he is."

"Were you?"

"Was I what?

"Thinking of someone else when you were with him."

Justin couldn't stop himself from blushing at the memory of that final night with Ethan. He had not really been in the mood for sex, but he suddenly had one hell of an orgasm as Ethan pounded into him. This was only because he had pictured Brian on top of him, for some odd reason, even though he barely knew the man at the time.

"You did! You thought of someone else while having sex with the guy, didn't you? Who was it? Do I have to worry about some other guy that you left behind in New York City popping up to mess with what we have going on between us? " He asked, with some amusement still in his tone of voice.

At first Justin thought he would keep the truth to himself, but all of a sudden he thought it would be interesting to let Brian know he had influenced his life from the very beginning, long before they had become more than friends.

"It was you. Are you happy? I had barely met you and yet the night I found out I got the job playing opposite you, I couldn't get you off my mind. When Ethan wanted to celebrate in bed, I found myself thinking about you again. You should have seen him afterwards. He was almost patting himself on the back for being such a good lover. He was royally pissed, when I got dressed right away, and then told him I thought we should go our separate ways. He was even more pissed when it dawned on him that he might not have been the one who turned me on so strongly. I never admitted anything to him, but he's not a stupid man. I denied having a new boyfriend when he accused me of it, because it was the truth. How was I supposed to know that my inspiration that night would end up being so special to me later on?" 

"Am I? I mean, so special to you?"

"For a really smart man, you can be awfully thick sometimes, Brian Kinney. I've always been a very open person. If you weren't so important to me, I guarantee you I would not be sneaking around, and keeping secrets just to be with you. But I do understand why we need to keep things to ourselves. Which is why I have no problem being so circumspect with what we have going on between us."

"Are you sure about that? I know we both agreed that we didn't want to share this thing between us with anyone else for the sake of the show, and mainly to keep our private lives private, but if you are having doubts about that decision...."

"No! I didn't mean to sound like I have doubts, Brian. Honestly, I don't. I saw the reaction of the audience when Ethan asked that question. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, as everyone held their breaths waiting for ‘The Big Reveal'. They were practically salivating at the thought of an affair being exposed. If I had given Ethan what he wanted, we wouldn't be standing here together right now without a ton of paparazzi outside the door waiting to snap pictures of us, holding hands... or even better, managing to get a snapshot of us, kissing. How long do you think our relationship could hold up under that kind of scrutiny? I don't know, but I don't feel like testing it. Do you?"

"I think we are stronger than you give us credit for, Justin, but I get where you're coming from. I've always made it a rule to never get too involved with any co-workers... that is, before now. For that reason, I've never feared having my life put under a microscope. Besides that, I've never had a name big enough for tabloids to go after. But all that is about to change. I don't have to be a soothsayer to know that this show is going to be a hit. I think we can all feel it in our bones, but how big is yet to be determined. One thing I know for certain is, the bigger the hit... the bigger the scrutiny will be for all of us. If we don't want to be hounded by reporters and paparazzi, we'll have to keep up the charade of 'just friends' for as long as we can."

Justin got up and poured himself another shot of bourbon. He brought the bottle over to Brian, who lifted his glass. Justin added more of the amber liquid to Brian's glass and set the bottle aside. Justin offered Brian a toast.

"Here's to secrets kept and affairs hidden," Justin announced.

The men clinked glasses and swallowed their drinks in a single gulp. They set their glasses down, and smiled crookedly at each other. Justin knew that it wasn't going to be as easy as they hoped to keep their relationship to themselves, but he had to admit that the intrigue of it all was actually a bit erotic. He thought back on his past, and the strained but open relationship he had with Ethan Gold. Deep down he wished he could be as open about his feelings for Brian. At the same time, he knew he would never want to go back to his open past. Brian, and all that came with him, was the future. Justin only prayed it would be a long future. 

As for Brian, for the first time in his life he was with a man that made him think of the future. He had not expected it, nor sought it out. He had been quite content with his life before 'Queer Folks & Family'. He enjoyed the 'no strings attached' one-nighters, (maybe two on a rare occasion) with guys who also sought to keep their sexual orientation under wraps. The anonymity suited Brian's personality just fine. But Justin was different. Justin made him feel things he had never felt before. Brian had had so little love in his life, including during his childhood, that he found it hard to understand what was happening to him now. But the one thing he knew, was that he would do anything to protect Justin and himself from any intrusions into their lives. 

Brian watched as Justin took both their glasses back to the kitchen, setting them down in the sink. Brian followed on his heels, and came up behind Justin, encircling the young man's waist from behind. His hands traveled upwards until they rested on Justin's chest. Brian leaned down to nuzzle at the nape of Justin's smooth neck. He placed tiny kisses at the spot where he could feel Justin's pulse. His tongue crept out, as he slowly licked his way up to Justin's ear. Justin bent his head ever so slightly, so that Brian could have better access to the full length of the side of his neck. Brian knew what he wanted and let his tongue dance along the edges of Justin's ear. He teased the flesh, taking a nip or two before diving in with his tongue to the center of the ear.

Justin tried hard not to giggle like a schoolgirl, but the sensations that Brian's play created were too arousing. Justin couldn't hold back, until he found himself pushing his ass backwards towards the prize he really wanted from his lover. Brian's hands slid away from Justin's chest, where he had been tweaking the hardening nipples through the young man's shirt, and moved them back down until they both came to rest on Justin's hips. Brian used his hands to draw Justin even closer to him, although the blond needed no help. Brian's hands moved from the hips, and came to rest next on Justin's crotch. Brian could easily feel the results of his playful maneuvers. The young man's cock was already so hard it pushed the front of his slacks out of shape, as it strained to be released from its confines. 

Brian was not yet ready to give Justin the comfort of freedom. He grabbed a handful of Justin's manhood and squeezed, bringing a fresh burst of thrilling agony to the young man. Justin's ass pushed even harder into Brian's crotch, accompanied by a low moan. Neck nibbles, crotch squeezes, and backward ass thrusts seemed to go on and on, as the temperature in the room rose higher. It became impossible to tell who was causing who the most distress in the growing need between them. Finally, the game became too much to bear. Brian flipped Justin around and pressed his backside into the edge of the sink as his mouth hungrily captured Justin's lips, prying them apart with his eager tongue. Neither man had it in him to slow down and savor the moment. Their need was too great. All the tension they had built up over having to face the public and those questions for the first time, dissipated like dew under a blazing sun. 

The couple wasted no time in discarding clothing slowly. They ripped shirts and slacks off as if they were put together with velcro. They only hesitated in their progress long enough to admire the view each presented to the other for a few seconds, but then fell together like magnets inexorably linked together. They moved together across the floor as one entity, until they found themselves in front of the sofa again. Their naked bodies sprawled onto the overstuffed furniture. Brian ripped open the condom packet he had wisely removed from his pants during his haste to shed them and handed it to Justin. Justin’s hands shook with desire, as he gathered Brian's manhood in his hand and placed the tip of the condom over the bulging head. 

The moment the condom was firmly in place, Justin lay back against the side cushion and raised his legs high, spreading them open as his invitation for Brian to visit the now familiar portal to their common ecstasy. Brian knew his way, but thought better of rushing it too much. His need was just as great as moments before, but he wanted Justin to have the maximum of pleasure. Brian moved more slowly now as he invaded Justin's body, and felt the beautiful man beneath him responding joyfully. Brian took his time, relishing the way that Justin responded to each and every thrust, by pulling Brian closer, as if to swallow his lover whole. Their passion for each other consumed them, until it burst forth with mutual orgasms, which literally washed away all fears of what the future could hold for them. Brian slumped over and lay against Justin, as the couple waited for their breathing to return to normal. When it finally did, Brian rose up and hovered over Justin. He looked deep into his lover's blue eyes and spoke softly, but firmly.

"I don't ever want you to be afraid of the future, Justin. Whatever comes our way, we'll handle it together. Nobody can touch us if we don't let them. I'll be there for you, and you'll be there for me. I believe that and I want you to believe it too."

Justin didn't answer. He couldn't. Brian sealed his promise with a kiss. It was a promise that would be tested, but only time would tell if it could be kept.

To be continued......


	16. First Season Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first Season of 'Queer Folk & Family' is almost completed and shown on television. Time to take a look at how those involved in the making of the series and their viewers have reacted to it.

As the weeks and months rushed by, filming for the new scripts of 'Queer Folk & Family' seemed to move along smoother with each successive episode. Both cast and crew had developed a working rhythm that felt more and more comfortable. As each completed episode went into the can, normally right on schedule, the Producers and their co-writers were even more pleased with the direction the storylines were taking. Bowen and Gripman spent much of their time at home, after a hard day’s work, congratulating themselves on their brilliant casting. They had had many successes in their past careers, but they had never seen a cast that fit their parts better than this one. 

As for the cast, they too found themselves more and more pleased with the direction the writers were taking their show. Every episode gave each performer a chance to shine, even during brief appearances. Only one actor seemed uncomfortable in his role. He spent as little time as possible interacting with his fellow actors, so he was barely a blip on the radar for most of the others. He did get under Brian's skin, however, even though it usually took a lot to irritate Brian. It didn't help that the character, which the actor was playing, was the new boyfriend of Hank Spears, Brian's best friend in the series. The two characters, Gabriel and Dr. Chris Potts, had a prickly relationship in the plot, which was mirrored by the actors themselves in real life. 

In the case of Brian and Justin's relationship, both on and off screen, it was exactly the opposite. The couple continued to enjoy each other's company, whether they were playing their roles, or just being themselves. The fact that they spent countless hours practicing their love scenes while not at work was clearly evident in the realistic way they performed on-set. Romantic scenes came more and more often, as the writers clued into the unusually strong chemistry between the two men. Even an episode that featured Gabriel displaying his temper after a foolish mistake made by young Reece, which cost Gabe a small fortune in stolen items at home, ended with the couple in one of their hottest sex scenes up to that point. There were a number of those, who watched the actors in action, who began to wonder just how close the two men were when not at work. However, for the most part cast and crew respected their privacy. As long as their private lives didn’t affect production of the show, which had become increasingly beloved by those involved in it, no one had a problem with anyone’s adventures off-camera.

These feelings, however, were not shared by the audience the series had attracted from the very first airing of Episode One. Fans had become totally invested in every aspect of the series. From the very first day, ratings for the show were impressive. Each subsequent episode garnered even higher ratings, as word of mouth spread rapidly throughout the LGBTQ community, as well as into the homes of many straight households. Oddly enough, the fastest growing dynamics of the show’s fans proved to be among straight women, especially the more maturely aged women. This came as a surprise to everyone. They had expected the LGBTQ community to respond to the show, but also thought that their main audience would be among much younger folks… those who were college aged up to their early thirties. Of course, the show did attract plenty of those folks too, but the most ardent fans, based on the fan mail which poured into the studio, did seem to be among the more senior straight women. 

There were, of course, detractors… many of which were among the LGBTQ community. Their most common complaint was that the show was too sexualized. They claimed that the show was going from one extreme (gay folks who had no sex lives) to the other (gay folks who did nothing but have sex). However, many of those who had been complaining in the beginning, began to feel differently as more episodes aired. Little by little, they realized that the aim of the series was to show just how well-rounded and normal the lives were for these characters. The voices of dissension among the LGBTQ community were slowly but surely diminishing. As for the actors, they thrilled to the way that the writers gave their characters three-dimensional lives, with plenty of joyful, as well as miserable moments to sink their acting teeth into.

Fan mail revealed a lot about reactions to the different characters from the show. Susan’s character, Debbie, was a particular favorite, especially among gay men. It was obvious that her character was the mother many of those fans wished they had, or that they did have and recognized in their own beloved mothers. Another favorite was Emmett’s character, Pete Booker. Some saw him as comic relief, but by far his fans praised his loving heart, sense of naiveté, and gentle nature the most. The fact that he was always looking for love, which never went anywhere, frustrated many of his fans. They felt he deserved love more than most, and hoped he would find Mr. Right very soon. 

Another actor, Ted, who played uptight Scotty Hyle, also received quite a lot of fan mail. However, much of his mail made reference to his character’s constant self-deprecation. A lot of his mail admonished him to stand up for himself. They wanted him to recognize what a good man he was at heart… a man worthy of love. Ted, who was actually quite self-confident in real life, felt pride in the fact that he was able to convince his audience that he was someone so different from himself. 

Naturally, not all the fan mail voiced a positive attitude towards every character or their performers. Actor, Michael Novotny, who played Gabe’s best friend and childhood companion, Hank Spears, found himself in a bit of a quandary as more episodes aired on television. It was obvious that the fans were not taking too kindly to the obvious jealousy Hank was feeling towards young Reece, who had become more and more connected to Gabe. Even those who had started out liking the character of Hank, while seeing him as a rather sweet self-deprecating young man in the beginning, turned on him when they saw him interfering with the growing relationship between Gabe and Reece. Rather than being upset over the negative comments, Michael told his co-workers that he accepted their comments to mean he was doing his job right. Part of the idea behind his character was as Gabe’s closest friend who longed for more, yet would never have his desires fulfilled. This, of course, would make him envious of the young upstart, who seemed able to achieve what Hank wanted most in life.

A number of other co-stars of the show were receiving unprecedented amounts of fan mail. Yet no one could compare their mail to what was being received by Brian and Justin. Their fans grew by leaps and bounds with each new episode that aired. It took no time at all for the Producers to recognize who were the most popular actors and characters of their show. The surprising thing about their overwhelming popularity was in the humble attitude the actors displayed. It was clear that all they really cared about was the quality of their work, and not the degree of fame they were receiving for that work. By and large, their fan mail was extremely positive. However, there was always negative feedback included in fan mail, even for Brian and Justin. 

Thankfully, any negativity was not allowed to influence any of the actors. It was the custom for all fan mail sent through the production company to be screened by employees, hired just for this one task. Positive mail, negative mail, even threatening mail was carefully separated. Although many of the actors would have loved to respond to all their mail, they simply had no time for it. They were, however, given the most interesting pieces of mail to peruse and respond to if they wanted. Brian was surprised at the number of requests for dates, or even marriage coming from straight women. When he shared this information with Justin, the young man joked that he would obviously have to fend off the female population, if they ever revealed their true relationship. The bulk of Justin’s mail had a more motherly tone to it than romantic. The fact that he was not really a young teenager didn’t seem to faze his fans. The one thing that was obvious with Justin’s mail was that his fans cared about him, and didn’t like seeing him hurt. They were frustrated by earlier episodes that featured Justin’s character, Reece, constantly trying to get Gabe to admit that he felt something more than a casual interest in him. At the same time, Brian was receiving mail that admonished him to make his character, Gabe, give in to his obvious affection for Reece once and for all, and admit he was falling in love. The writers had other plans. And the shock of those plans would reverberate throughout the QFF universe for some time to come.

******************************************** 

Life for those who were involved in the making of the television series, ‘Queer Folk & Family’ continued to move along smoothly, as it neared the end of the first season. All the months of hard work and dedication to the series had paid off handsomely, with the series already having aired most of the first season episodes. Ratings for those episodes had been so high, that the network gleefully renewed the show for a second season. There was no question that the show had become a runaway hit, garnering far more praise than criticism along the way. For the most part, the writers had come up with plots that captured the imagination and approval of their audience. 

Fans were particularly fond of the interactions between Justin’s character, Reece, and most of the other lead characters, with the notable exception of Hank, Gabe’s best friend. Thanks to the obvious jealousy which Hank often displayed towards Gabe’s continued relationship with Reece, his character had become more and more of a pariah. Of course, there were also those fans who appreciated Hank’s devotion to Gabe, as well as Gabe’s for Hank. They tended to see how the two young men had been there for each other since childhood, which formed an unbroken bond. It may not have been as much as Hank wished for, but better than nothing in his eyes. The majority of the fans were relieved, however, when Hank found a man that they hoped would end his fascination with Gabe once and for all. The fact that the man was a doctor, no less, which his mother enthusiastically approved of, was a bonus. 

Truly, one of the most popular characters was Debbie Spears, Hank’s mother. Fans ate it up whenever she was in a scene, no matter who she shared the scene with. They loved her deep devotion to all her gay boys and girls, especially her brother, Dick. Little scenes, such as them dancing together to an early ‘70’s song called ‘The Hustle’, while Reece made faces at them, would always bring a laugh or smile to their audience. Susan, who portrayed Debbie to perfection, was the heart of the show as both actor and character. She often brought a lot of humor to the show, as did another favorite, Emmett, who portrayed Pete Booker. Pete’s romantic escapades and snappy comebacks were most often good for a giggle or two. His interactions with best friend, up-tight Scotty were especially appreciated by the fans. 

The one time that fans went up in arms, was when the writers chose to have Pete turn to conversion therapy after a possible AIDS scare, even though his test came back negative. Blowback from this plot caused them to end it as quickly as they possibly could, returning their favorite Southern diva back to his usual fabulous self-loving persona. Although the show had a lot of humorous scenes, it also tackled some of the uglier sides of being gay in a straight dominated world. There were hard challenges for the characters, such as the one involving a co-worker who tried to ruin Gabe at work, because he didn’t give the man a promotion after they shared a sexual encounter with each other, while on the job. Reece had his share of troubles too. His interactions with his father were disturbing, to say the least. Just as difficult to endure for his fans was his continued interplay with fellow student, Alec McClaire, played with intensity by actor Chris Hobbs. 

Every time that there was a confrontation between Reece and Alec, the audience would hold its breath, waiting for some kind of explosion to happen. What the audience didn’t know was just how big an explosion was coming up. Even the actors were not privy to the overall plan writers had set in motion for the cliff-hanger at the end of their first season. Throughout the episodes already aired, the writers had set the stage for what was coming. They clearly showed the protective side of Gabe towards Reece in scenes, like the one where Alec and his friends ran into Reece and the whole gang at one of their favorite hangouts. When Alec appeared to be threatening Reece, Gabe stepped in to block the bully. Other scenes showed Gabe trying to protect Reece from the pain of his father’s animosity, even to the point of letting the young man move in with him. This was something totally out of character for Gabe. Of course, being as close to each other in real life, as Brian and Justin were, they were able to convey their ever-growing bond with one another to perfection. 

Throughout their filming of the series, Brian and Justin had been able to maintain their secret alliance. Even those who suspected them of being closer than just co-workers, really had no proof of their suspicions. The truth was, nobody cared one way or the other. As long as the set continued to be as harmonious as it was, the private lives of all those concerned did not matter. Whenever there were gatherings with each other, the talk was almost always about their present work or amusing anecdotes about previous jobs. However, the first season was rapidly drawing to a close. Although there was still slightly more than a half dozen episodes to be aired, there were only a couple left to film. Then the show would go on hiatus before filming of the second season began. As a result, talk was beginning to center around what everyone had planned for their free time. It was a question that Brian and Justin needed to tackle, regarding their future. And the answers for them would not be as easy as it would have been, if they hadn’t fallen for each other with such passion.

To be continued………


	17. Ending With a Bang and a Whimper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time for the scripts for the final episode of Season One of 'Queer Folk & Family' to be handed out. And once the episode is filmed and in the can, it will be time for everyone to decide how to spend their hiatus, until returning to Canada to begin filming Season Two of their series. So, the question is, will there be some big surprises coming up thanks to this final episode and the upcoming hiatus?

Brian glanced around the living room of his rented house, feeling a rare sense of nostalgia beginning to creep into his bones. Although he didn’t own the house, he had come to love it as the perfect getaway after a hard day’s work at the studio. His lease on the house was about to expire at the end of the month, just after the final day of shooting on the last episode of the first season of their series. Thinking about what was coming gave Brian pause. At this very moment, he wasn’t certain as to what the future held, at least not during the period when everyone would be on hiatus until filming started up again for Season Two. He knew that both he and Justin had been deliberating putting off the task of discussing their futures, preferring to live in the moment instead. Now, however, time was running out. On Monday morning they would be receiving scripts for the all-important final episode, which would set the stage for the direction Season Two would take. Then, during the week there would be table reads and rehearsals. Right after that, the last episode would begin filming. Once it was in the can and ready for edit, cast and crew would be released to go about their business for the next few months.

The question was, what business would he and Justin be involved in? Brian wasn’t certain about Justin, but he did know what a part of his own plans were. He was already contracted to play a part in a short film during the hiatus, but this wouldn’t take too much time. The short would be filmed in New York City. This worked well for him, because he had received an offer to take on a role in an off-Broadway play called ‘Uncle Bobby’. It would be his first theatrical stage role, and the thought of tackling the difficult subject matter in the play excited him. He also relished the idea that Justin could give him pointers about acting on a stage, which he knew was Justin’s forte. It was a fair reversal of Brian’s helping Justin with pointers about film acting in the earlier days of their time together. He was also aware that New York City was Justin’s home base, so the stage role would give him the opportunity to be close to Justin. More than anything, Brian did not relish the thought of spending months being separated from his lover. He had come to the point where Justin’s presence in his life was of utmost importance. It certainly wasn’t what he had expected to happen when he first came to Canada to snag a part in a new series. Yet, there was no denying that something special happened the day he met Justin. Brian was aware that co-stars in movies and television often fell in love with one another, especially if they had a ton of intimate scenes together. He was also aware that those love affairs often died out once the cameras stopped rolling, and the real world stepped in. There was always the chance that this might end up being the fate of his affair with Justin too. Somehow, however, Brian doubted it. He just hoped that Justin was feeling the same way. Now, the question was, what were Justin’s plans for their upcoming hiatus?

***************************************

Justin checked himself in the mirror for the umpteenth time since dressing for his visit with Brian. Although they hadn’t said it out loud, he sensed the two of them were about to have a very serious discussion this weekend, and he wanted to look his most appealing when they did. He and Brian had not discussed anything about their upcoming hiatus from the show, so for all Justin knew, Brian would be going back to California, which was his home base. Even though he knew they would be back together again a few months later, when they began filming the second season of ‘Queer Folk & Family’, a separation was the last thing Justin wanted. His affair with Brian was still in its infancy, in many ways. For instance, they were obviously totally compatible sexually, but there were still a lot of things they had not really discussed about themselves. Brian seldom talked about his past life before QFF, and Justin knew he had not told Brian a lot about his past either. Sometimes, Justin thought to himself, it was as if their lives began with the day they met. This was not something that could continue to go on forever… not if they wanted to remain a couple far into the future. And for Justin, that was exactly what he wanted. The trouble was, he wasn’t one hundred percent certain that Brian was on the same wavelength. There were times he thought he was, but there were also those times when he had doubts.

For now, Justin knew the time had come for them to determine exactly what the near future held for the two of them. With this in mind, Justin’s thoughts lately had been centered around his plans for their hiatus. His salary for ‘Queer Folk & Family’ was giving him a very comfortable cushion for the coming year. Justin was one of those rare actors who never took a job for the money. His financial needs were quite modest. Because of this, he had decided not to take on any other roles while waiting for his return to Canada to begin the second season of their show. Although he had not allowed himself to think about it too deeply, he knew in his heart that his reasons for this decision were entirely based on being available to Brian, no matter what his future plans were. However, he hoped that Brian would not feel put off by this. Justin was well aware that Brian had been very much a solo act his entire adult life. Maybe, just maybe, Justin thought, Brian was looking forward to being on his own again… at least during the hiatus. This thought hurt, but Justin knew he would have to respect it if that was how Brian felt. Finally, feeling satisfied with the way he looked, Justin grabbed the keys to his rental car. He headed for the parking lot, telling himself he was prepared for whatever was coming next.

*****************************************************

Monday morning arrived with brisk cool winds, but clear skies. Brian and Justin were the last actors to arrive at the studio, having exhausted themselves the night before with several torrid love sessions throughout the evening. This had been preceded by a lengthy discussion, regarding their individual plans for the upcoming hiatus from their series. They both seemed surprised by how nervous they felt over facing their mutual futures. It did cross their minds, almost simultaneously, that they weren’t as secure in their relationship as they had thought they were. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been plagued by doubts. Not that they doubted their affection for one another. The problem centered more on their knowledge of how fleeting co-star love affairs were in the acting world. They were certainly enjoying what they had going for them right now, while they were so intimately involved in acting together. The question was, was what they had actually strong enough to continue once the cameras stopped rolling? Once Brian explained that he would be staying in New York City in order to act in a play, and Justin explained that he had decided to take a much-needed break from acting altogether for the few months they would be on hiatus, the couple decided this would give them the chance to explore their relationship in more depth. Once they agreed that their plans would work well for both of them, the couple were able to relax and spend the rest of the evening celebrating their decisions in the way that they enjoyed most.

Brian and Justin joined the other actors and writers in the conference room, for the meeting the producers had called. This was a bit unusual, since Monday mornings usually consisted of scripts for that week’s shooting simply being handed out for the actors to begin studying. Normally, joint meetings were not necessary until the table reads later on, so that everyone could get a feel for the direction that particular episode would be taking. Next came rehearsals, set up in different areas for each actor to perform with whoever was in the scenes with them. Actors who were in more than one scene would shuffle back and forth between rehearsal studios. Brian, who always seemed front and center in so many scenes, was the busiest of all the actors. The last step, which usually began the following day, was the beginning of filming for each scene. This would also occur in more than one location. This was always carefully plotted out, giving actors who performed in more than one scene the time to get their job done efficiently. Because everything was normally worked out the same for every episode, this meeting made everyone curious. Most thought it was simply a case of this being their final episode for Season One. They were prepared for a pep talk, encouraging them to give it their all, so that their audience would return to them eagerly with the start of Season Two. They were half right.

Now that everyone was assembled, Phil Bowen, co-Producer of the series, stood up and raised his hand to quiet the room. Before he started to talk, one of his assistants began circling the expansive table. As he did, he handed out scripts for the final episode of Season One to everyone seated there. Actors with bit parts would receive theirs as needed. Before anyone had the chance to glance through the scripts, Bowen quickly began speaking, diverting their attention from the papers in front of them.

“Okay, folks, before any of you read what is about to happen with our story, we want to explain some things. My partner, Gripman, and I are the ones responsible for this week’s script. Our only goal was to go out with a bang, even though we have already received a renewal for another season. We know how audiences can sometimes lose interest in a show when too much time has passed between seasons. We needed to come up with a cliffhanger that would keep our fans talking about the show, long after the final scene of this season. A number of different scenarios have been tossed around for a while, but in the end we hit on the one thing that will undoubtedly cause the highest degree of tension. You may not have been aware of it, but we’ve been hinting at this upcoming scenario for the ending for quite some time.” 

He turned to face Brian and Justin, who were sitting side by side at the table.

“Guys, this is going to affect you two most profoundly,” he continued, staring directly at the two of them. “It’s going to take every ounce of your acting skills to pull this off. We are hoping that you can get it right in as few takes as possible. But we do have complete faith in your ability to leave a lasting impression on our audience.”

“We’ll certainly do our best,” Brian promised. Justin shook his head in agreement.

“With that said, let’s take a look at the full script and take it from one scene to the next. Then we can get started with our first read,” Bowen concluded.

Papers rustled as folks began glancing over their papers, looking at first for their own parts. Then, taking note of the dramatic way Bowen described the final scene, they began turning to the last pages. Audible gasps could be heard throughout the room, as one by one they realized what the producers were talking about. It instantly became clear that the season was going to end with the loudest bang ever. If the producers wanted to leave their audience craving to know what would happen next in the second season, this would certainly ensure that goal. Many eyes were suddenly trained on Justin and Brian. The looks on their faces said it all. Some of the cast had either personally experienced a similar event in their own lives, or they knew someone who had, and it had left scars that never fully healed. Knowing that Justin had been openly gay for quite some time, made some of them wonder how performing in a scene such as the final one would affect him. What they didn’t know, was that it was Brian who felt the strongest reaction to what he was reading, and that there was a good reason for it.

****************************************************

Brian clicked the light on in his house and closed the front door behind Justin. The two men did not speak, as Brian went to the small bar where he grabbed two glasses and began filling them with amber liquid. Walking over to Justin, who had taken a seat on the large sofa nearby, Brian handed one of the drinks to his companion.

“Here, I know you’re not much of a drinker, but I think you’ll need this,” he told him.

Justin accepted the drink, taking a quick gulp. It was true that he preferred milk shakes and sodas to booze, but he knew Brian was right. The anxiety, mixed with anticipation, over what was coming up with their shooting schedule during the coming week still had the couple a bit rattled. Of course, it was only acting, yet somehow they hadn’t expected anything quite so radical. Looking back on it, they realized that the producers were right. They had been setting the stage for such an evil event throughout the season, but it still came as a shock that they would go there. And where they were going was the one thing that so many folks in their community feared the most, maybe even more than developing a disease such as AIDS. They had written the character of Reece being brutally bashed during an attempted murder by his arch-rival, Alec, during their Senior Prom. Not only that, they had also written Brian’s character, Gabe, as being a witness to the whole thing, yet unable to stop it from happening. The couple settled down on the couch with drinks in hand, each seeming almost hesitant to start the conversation. Finally, Brian broke the silence.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly wasn’t expecting the kind of climactic ending for the first season they just gave us.”

“Not in a million years,” Justin responded. “It will certainly leave a lot of questions open for the fans, which I guess is a good thing. Although it does make me wonder if they are thinking of writing me off next season.”

“Bite your tongue! Besides, they had you sign the same contract for the entire second season that the rest of us did, so I doubt they are even considering writing you off. Hell, the fan mail alone would be enough proof that it would be series suicide if they did such a thing. Our characters get far more love from the fans than anyone else. I’m not bragging… just stating facts.”

“I hope you’re right, Brian, but don’t forget that there is always a clause in contracts that provide for writing characters off a show. Just because they have to pay me, doesn’t me they have to use me.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and brought it up to his heart. Tapping his chest, he looked Justin straight in the eyes.

“That’s enough of you worrying! Gabe and Reece are too important to the success of the series. I believe that with every fiber of my being. I won’t have you thinking any other way. Now, let’s change the subject… sort of. So, what do you really feel about those final scenes?”

Justin paused a moment before answering. “I don’t know, Brian. The truth is, I’ve been really lucky in my life so far. Like my character, I came out as gay while still in high school, but I was never bullied in the same way that he is. I’ve also never known anyone who was attacked so viciously. I do know plenty of gay friends who have been harassed to some extent, but nothing like this. What about you? I mean, you haven’t even come out of the closet, so to speak, but I know you have friends who are openly gay.”

Justin noticed a change in Brian’s face. It seemed to darken, perhaps with some memory he was experiencing.

“Brian? What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Brian hesitated to respond. He had made a vow to himself years ago to never talk about what had happened in his past… something that was directly responsible for his attitude about being openly gay, as well as his attitude towards allowing himself to become too close to any one sex partner. Yet, seeing the genuine concern in his lover’s eyes… the eyes of someone he had learned to trust wholeheartedly… made up his mind for him. Maybe, now was the time to share his secret. Justin would either understand and still support him, or he would be appalled and turn his back on him. Either way, Brian squared his shoulders and began his story.

To be continued…..


End file.
